[fic] Waking Up from a Bad Dream (part 6)

[moon_catcher]

***

The expected and feared call from the jimusho had finally come, catching Kame off guard. He had kind of been waiting for them to invite him over for nearly a year and half. Ever since the day the doctor had passed him the results of the last of series of surgeries he’d been through after the accident. He hadn’t been to walk anymore. There had been a big chance to partially restore the sensitivity in both lower extremities with proper rehabilitation care but that was all.

No walking.

No dancing.

No playing baseball.

He had long not been angry or passionate about it; the resignation had come gradually, peace had been settling down day by day and then finally, Kame had woken up one morning, still a bit bitter and grumpy about the helpless future lying ahead of him but not desperate anymore.

He had learnt to understand that things were happening for reasons.

And just because those reasons were beyond his comprehension at times, it didn’t mean there wasn’t sense in them happening.

On the morning of the meeting in the jimusho, Ryo came to pick Kame up. Despite the closeness that had grown between Kame and Jin in the last weeks, Ryo was still the one Kame was turning to when anything was needed. Except the one time when Ryo had been unexpectedly called to Yokohama and Jin had taken his place, Jin wasn’t asked to accompany Kame to the rehab anymore; and as much as Jin would have loved to know the reason or had felt cut out, he had never complained.

At times, Jin thought that Ryo accompanying Kame was better than if it had been him again actually. Not because he didn’t want to spend time with Kame - he wanted. He liked spending time with Kame. Nowadays maybe even more than when they had been kids. However, Jin couldn’t be sure about his own reactions anymore, after learning about the past, about Kame not hating him the whole time, about Kame caring about him.

Liking him.

At the first sight, everything seemed to be the same as usually. Ryo helped Kame into the car, babbling about nothing and everything; about the show Kanjani had filmed in Yokohama, complaining about having been once again talked into cross-dressing despite how the whole world must have known by now that Nishikido Ryo made the most ridiculous ‘girl’ ever when dressed in a wig and a skirt. Kame was chuckling at the other’s peevish groaning, and the light mood he found himself being in kind of surprised him. He was heading to what used to be his work to most probably sign his official withdrawal. He should have been worried about the following weeks which would be surely a mess with public craving for details and more information than the jimusho would ever pass on, with long days of no more ‘maybe someday’ and ‘what if’ because signing the documents would make everything real and present. But he wasn’t. He knew the company would make sure to keep everyone away from him; and he had also long lost the torturing need to play on ‘maybe someday’ and ‘what if’ anyway.

At the second sight though, Kame couldn’t shake off a strange tingling feeling.

And this one grew even stronger when Ryo hadn’t parted with him right after entering the building but followed Kame first to the elevator and then also further up to the door of Johnny-san’s office. Ryo had been talking rubbish the whole time and Kame had soon decided to ascribe it to Ryo’s attempt to distract him from thinking too much.

However, Kame wasn’t. There’s was nothing to think too much about anymore.

He couldn’t say he was happy about stuff but he was not mourning as well. At least he would close one chapter of his life. No more groping in the dark. No more waiting for something that wouldn’t come.

The others, Koki, Ueda, Nakamaru and Taguchi deserved a fresh start, a new beginning; and they couldn’t have any of it with him as a burden.

Kame bit his lip at the thought and then pushed everything away, cleaning his head.

He hadn’t been expecting miracles after all. Ever.

The tingling feeling Kame couldn’t un-riddle since the very morning was back when a group of boys was passing by him and Ryo on their way to the office. Kame noticed the looks they gave him, curiosity and surprise fighting with the awareness of respect they had to treat their senpai with. The name of Kamenashi Kazuya had kept its power and sound. Kame might have not been around for nearly two years but many (both younger and even older boys in the agency) were still looking up to him; the same way Kame used to - and at some way still did - admire his own senpai, Takizawa Hideaki or Kimura Takuya, and many others.

“Nothing has changed much, don’t you think?” Ryo poked Kame to tear him from whatever the other might be thinking about.

“I don’t know actually. It’s been a while.”

He hadn’t really been in the jimusho since before the accident. He had dropped by on his way to the theatre back then, but after his release from hospital, he had never felt like facing this place again. Not in the beginning, when all he had wanted to do was lick his wounds away from anyone who could see him as defeated and useless. And later, there hadn’t been a reason to come over anymore.

Ryo led the way and rounded a corner. If Kame remembered correctly, they were almost there. His fingers gripped tighter around the hand rims and he pushed the chair forward. No need to delay anything now.

To Kame’s surprise, there was an unexpected encounter waiting for him in front of the office door.

“Kame-chan!”

Kame’s eyelashes fluttered in confusion upon hearing Koki’s voice. And then Koki was standing right in front of him with a warm, welcoming grin and was all shaky to hold himself back from pouncing down on Kame to give him a tight hug.

“Hi…ehm…nice to see you…guys,” Kame’s eyes roamed around as also the rest of his band mates gathered around him, only Jin stayed a little behind, eyeing the scene thoughtfully. But Kame didn’t get a chance to think of Jin’s restrained attitude at the moment because the first pair of hands had already wound around his neck.

“Taguchi!” Ueda hissed.

But Junno didn’t move, clinging to Kame and eventually making the moment awkward for everybody but himself.

Laughter was twitching in a corner of Kame’s lips.

Trust Taguchi to vent his excited emotions without caring about his surroundings. “I’m so happy you are back!” Junno was squeezing Kame, oblivious the hands that were trying to pull him away, Kame’s stupor and the warning glare Ueda’s widened eyes were giving him.

“Taguchi!” Nakamaru hissed then quickly flashed Kame a smile. And it was more Nakamaru’s smile than Taguchi’s remark or Ueda’s look that got Kame anxious.

Ryo promptly cleared his throat, drawing the attention to himself. The possibility that Taguchi would have kept babbling otherwise was too high.

“I guess my mission is done. Kamenashi was safely delivered. Now excuse me, I have a meeting to attend…”

“Ryo…” Kame turned around.

There was something fishy about this situation. Why had everyone come here? They had kept in touch one way or another anyway, and his coming into the jimusho today was the last of special occasions Kame wanted to make a fuss about.

“Ryo… what…? Kame repeated, more upset and nervous for a reason he was not catching yet. But one must have been there.

“Sorry, Kamenashi, your lift home has been changed.”

Kame shot a side glance at grinning Jin then looked back at Ryo and frowned. If there was anything he really hated - and right now there was only a few other things than Taguchi squeezing him - then it must have been Akanishi and any of his friends banding together and keeping secrets from Kame. As if it hadn’t been enough in the past. As if he hadn’t felt shut off enough years ago.

Just when he was about to think that things might have been better soon.

Jin had been back and they were on a good way to being friends again. Maybe not as close as before, but after the years of complete silence between them and becoming strangers to each other, anything was better. And Kame was mature and down to earth enough not to dream of the impossible anymore.

He didn’t expect Jin to want to be more than friends just because Kame himself had spent years living in empty hopes.

Much like about his physical condition, Kame had made peace also with the impossibility of his feelings to be returned.

Moreover, KAT-TUN was going to release a single he had helped with. Not only had helped with but had been behind the initial idea. And it didn’t really matter that his name wouldn’t be mentioned. It was Jin’s song and it was enough for Kame to know that Jin knew about Kame’s help and acknowledged it. No one else was important. In the past Kame had written a lot of songs without inscribing his name anyway. Sometimes it had taken years before he had admitted the authorship, other times he had never said a word, hiding behind a pen-name. This time, the only difference would be him being hidden not behind a random mark, but behind Jin’s name.

That was something Kame could live with.

Finally, seeing Ryo had disappeared behind the corner, Kame got himself together and gently pushed Taguchi away to get some space. - And not to be suffocated.

“Okay, I’m really glad you all have come here to…” Kame was frowning, “well, whatever the reason was. However, this was not necessary and…”

“Of course we had to come here!” Koki butted in; and the grin didn’t get lost from his face even when Ueda smacked him. Koki made a face, shifting his eyes and sticking his tongue which made Kame chuckle. More than anything, he would miss those moments; he already had missed them actually.

Koki got around the wheelchair Kame was sitting in and as if it was the most natural thing to do, he started pushing Kame to the door - and to Jin. The others followed suit. Stunned by the weird feeling floating around, Kame didn’t find the strength to fight or even protest against Koki treating him like if he couldn’t have moved on his own.

Kame’s eyes met Jin’s.

Or maybe Jin’s eyes met Kame’s but in the end, details didn’t matter. Just by looking at Jin, Kame calmed down and nothing but Jin’s presence mattered anymore. He swallowed and wanted to say something, anything…

However, the door opened and a secretary Kame hadn’t seen before overlooked them all and invited them in.

Johnny greeted them from behind his table, looking relaxed and pleased. He seemed to be in a good mood, and that was always a good sign.

Kame didn’t really remember the last time he had been in the office.

Jin’s memories, on the other hand, were rather fresh. And scattered from anger and disappointment and helplessness to resignation and giving up to fighting and coaxing - up to the best feeling Jin had ever experienced; warm and giddy and forcing him to almost lean over the table and hug his boss. As much as he usually kept some polite distance from Johnny Kitagawa.

The strange thing was that Jin couldn’t remember feeling anywhere near this back then after the US contract had come up. He had been happy, beyond ecstatic actually, but all of that on a completely different level. It was him being selfish and doing things for himself. He had fought with Johnny over his solo career and had won. One fight, one victory. This time though, he had fought and had won again, yet the final victory would be seeing Kame’s face after hearing the news…

“Good morning, boys.” Even though the man was addressing all of them, Johnny’s eyes were fixed solely on Kame. The look was soothing yet rather disturbing at the same time as Kame couldn’t recall when Johnny-san had been looking at him with such concern. Most of the time, when the conversation hadn’t been about the artistic side of work, talking to Johnny might have been even dreadful. For some of the younger boys in the agency for sure; only with time they would learn Johnny could be also nice if he wanted. Kame had learnt it.

And now he hoped Johnny would show his nice side while making the final scratch behind Kame’s career. Especially when the others had been invited to the show as well, for one reason or another.

If it had been up to Kame, he would have preferred a quick, more or less painless transaction. Johnny would have given him the paper to sign and Kame would have done it. Then they would have shaken hands; and if Kame had been lucky enough and Johnny had been in a really good mood, Kame would have been sent off with a wish of everything good.

“I have to say it’s nice to see the six of you here again. Together.”

Kame curiously looked around, only to find the others didn’t seem to be startled by Johnny’s nonchalant, familiar tone at all, just nodding their heads. All of them. Akanishi included - and Kame almost choked because he would have never expected to see Jin and Koki agreeing on something. Also, Kame couldn’t miss how Jin’s eyes every now and then slipped to his direction; not only curiously checking him but more like watching over him.

“After everything this group has been through. Especially the last two years…” the words made Kame fidget and flinch but Jin’s eyes never left him, assuring and supporting; and Johnny’s words were fading somewhere past Jin, past the dark, soft and caring eyes which Kame both hated and loved at the moment, knowing that only Jin could have ever had such an impact on him, making him feel so much even at moments when Kame wished nothing but to succumb to complete numbness. Johnny’s voice was coming to him from a distance. “… but no matter what, I’m still supporting KAT-TUN and believe you will take this new chance you were given - not by me or anyone else, but by each one of you, the six of you together.”

“But sir…” Kame’s heart stopped. The words ‘KAT-TUN’ and ‘six’ hadn’t belonged to the same sentence for a few years by now, especially within the walls of the jimusho; and the less being spoken by Johnny. Confused all over again, and now even more than before, as now there actually was a reason to be, unlike before when he had only had a feeling, Kame let his eyes travel around the room. He quickly realized he was the only one taken aback by what was happening. The others were sitting there, listening to the man behind the table with indifferent faces, giving out an image Johnny wasn’t saying anything new for them. Kame’s hands got sweaty and he rubbed them into his thighs.

“Yes, Kamenashi?” Johnny turned his full attention to Kame again.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s going on here.”

“What is here not to understand? The six of you are going to restore all activities as KAT-TUN from now on. Starting with a single, and a couple of appearances on TV,” Johnny explained in short because there was a time to talk tediously with lofty words and then there was a time to go straight to the point. The now was the right moment for the latter. “And depending on the eventual success, there would be more later.”

Taguchi and Koki nudged each other secretly, both grinning in excitement. It didn’t matter how many times they had already heard Johnny saying those words, it always made them light-headed and even a bit tipsy. Even Koki, who usually couldn’t find a nice word for Jin, had to admit there was something magical about the idea of performing as six again. Back to the beginnings. Back to the times when things had been easy and not complicated. When they had sang because they wanted to, and not to reach the expectations of the people around them, or the agency.

Kame licked his lips.

There must have been something he was missing. Johnny couldn’t have… or could he?

Before coming here, Kame had reconciled with his future out of the entertainment world, leaving his idol years behind because there had been no chance to… for someone like him… But Johnny was now right here, talking about KAT-TUN as six and a single and… Didn’t he notice the chair? Had he gone out of his mind and forgotten Kame wasn’t exactly a shining example of a perfect idol anymore?

His eyes found Jin. Just because everything seemed to be easier like that.

Because just until a moment ago Kame had believed he would have been able to make the final cut behind his past knowing Jin would have stayed no matter what.

“But sir, with all respect,” Kame bowed, “I don’t think I can…”

“Of course you can, Kamenashi!” Johnny’s voice thundered yet kept a rather soft undertone. This was not the scary Johnny Kitagawa the older boys from the agency were frightening the younger ones with once in a while. This was Johnny Kitagawa who knew the right words to say to push everyone far over their limits. Far over what they thought were their limits. Because Johnny always knew better. Always knew there was space for improvement. “You’ve been licking your wounds for long enough. Now it’s time to shine again.”

Was Johnny really pushing him to say it?

Handicapped.

Paraplegic.

Kame flinched every time his doctor or anyone uttered such word aloud in front of him. Two years and he still hadn’t gotten used to it. Coming to terms with never being able to walk again was one thing, but sorting himself as a part or a group of similarly disabled people was scary.

“I’m not what this agency needs anymore, sir.”

Once, he used to think he had been all this agency needed.

“Nonsense, Kamenashi. As long as you can draw the attention of the public and at the same time write songs that are destined to top charts, there’s always a place for you in this agency.”

Koki beamed.

“Kame… It’s great, isn’t it?” Nakamaru’s hand touched Kame’s shoulder. Warm. Comforting.

However, not enough.

Kame was shaking all over. Instinctively, feeling this was the right place to search for the answers at, he turned to Jin. Why was Jin standing so far away actually?

“We love the song, Kame,” Taguchi flashed Kame one of his brightest smiles, tilting his head in a gesture he wasn’t even aware of, eyes narrowed into two tiny chinks.

Koki nodded. “Why didn’t you tell us? I thought we were friends.”

A song… Frames. Jin must have told them about Frames.

“I really like the feeling it gives,” Ueda joined in.

Koki nodded again, this time even more enthusiastically than before. “We all do,” he corrected the previous statement, side-glancing Ueda with a reproving look.

Kame’s breathing quickened.

Akanishi had had no right to do something like that. They had had a deal, an agreement… a promise. Jin could have taken the song without mentioning Kame’s name…

“I told Akanishi he could have the song and it still stands. But…”

Johnny frowned. “Let’s keep the song out of this for a moment. You either want to work for me or you don’t. And before you say anything, maybe you would like to know that Akanishi was fighting tooth and nail for you, and this offer won’t come again. I really want you here but KAT-TUN could exist in five in the past just fine, and with Akanishi on the board, I’m not afraid of the future of the group anymore. Not even if you refuse.”

The world started spinning around and possibly for the first time since the accident, Kame was glad he was sitting and his legs couldn’t turn to jelly. Maybe they already had and he just couldn’t feel it.

He didn’t really care about anything concerning the part about his return to the limelights because - Jin had fought for him. Jin was the one putting on all efforts to bring Kame back - and he himself would stay as well. Jin hadn’t done it to set himself free from the group again. He had done it for Kame. Only for Kame.

Jin knew how much Kame wanted to come back.

And Kame wanted.

“I won’t, sir,” Kame made up his mind without too much thinking because there was nothing to think about. “I won’t refuse. Thank you.” Johnny smiled; and the smile was both a satisfaction of a businessman who was not losing his valuable investment and a gentle delight of a father who saw his child happy. After all, they all had somewhat grown up under the watchful sight of this man; at times spending more time with him being around than their own parents. “I’ll do my best.”

Kame returned the smile his boss was giving him when the force of reality finally sank in.

He was back.

He could be worried about details later. For now, all he needed to know were two things: Johnny wouldn’t have asked him without having a concrete plan - even though right now Kame couldn’t have even imagined what such a plan could look like -, and the second, he would get his old life back. With changes. Of course, with changes. But as long as there were limelight’s and familiar scents of dressing rooms, flashing lights and music and applause, his name being shouted louder than the rest of an unremitting screaming, he could go with it.

Only now, with the idea of having all of it back eventually, Kame realized - or admitted - how much he had missed it the whole time. How much he had been lying to himself when thinking he could have been fine without being an idol.

All he remembered about the following minutes behind the closed door of Johnny’s office was loud cheers, and hands patting his shoulders, arms winding around him from everywhere, Johnny-san saying how great it would be from now on and how Kame’s new manager would take care of everything Kame would ever need because the agency was always attentive to all the needs of their idols.

And Kame wasn’t yet sure whether to cry or laugh, while all he wanted to do in real was to hug Jin as tight as possible and pour his whole heart at the other, not minding what would have happened next.

Because right now, in the middle of Johnny’s office and surrounded by people who had always been an important part of his life, once again getting a grip at his life, Kame felt he could do anything. That his life couldn’t get wrong again.

At some point the hustle around him got messy, with even more arms and more pushing as everyone seemed eager to reach for their share of Kame; Kame was laughing as all the previous tension had long been gone now. Through the mess of heads and hair and Taguchi’s tall form hanging over him, Kame caught a glimpse of Jin standing a bit aside, not participating in the welcoming squash. Kame sent him an inquiring look; doing his best to mask the little pinching disappointment over the lack of Jin’s joy. Everything had happened thanks to Jin after all, he was the one with credits. - Even though they were still going to have a serious talk about promises. When Kame had said he hadn’t wanted anyone to know about his role in writing the song, he had actually meant it back then…

Ueda’s shriek tore Kame’s thought and he found the other half sitting, half collapsed on his lap as Ueda had lost his balance and toppled over Kame.

A moment later, when Ueda had managed to get onto his feet again, Johnny subtly hinted them it was about time to leave and the six of them found themselves in the hallway.

“It kind of feels like back then, doesn’t it?” Nakamaru’s words were not directed concretely; more a general question.

“A new start for KAT-TUN,” Koki agreed, suspiciously eyeing Jin. However, this wasn’t the right time or place to start a bicker about the past so Koki just grinned and turned to Kame.

All Kame could focus on though, despite sensing Koki was talking to him and he should have probably answered, was Jin and Jin alone.

Jin taking slow, almost hesitant steps closer until he stood up by Kame’s side, fingers circled around one of the handles of the wheelchair. “We’ll be going now,” he said, impatient to get out of there and talk to Kame with no one else to hear them. Jin wanted to tell him how much Kame’s presence meant to him. How glad he actually was upon Kame taking the offer Johnny had made him

When Jin had come to Johnny’s office two days ago to talk to him about Kame, he had had no idea what the outcome of the conversation might have been. Johnny Kitagawa might be unpredictable at times and Jin had had no other choice than to put everything on the fact that Johnny had always seemed to have a soft spot for him. Jin had always been one of those few boys in the agency whose requests and pleas had a big chance to be not only heard out, but often also granted.

And more than any of those few fortunate souls, Jin had always been pushing Johnny’s patience to its limits and beyond. With his scandals, with leavings and returns, with showing an image so different from what Johnny wanted from his idols… However, none of his previous requests could have been compared to asking his boss not only to keep a paraplegic in the agency, but to let him resume as many activities as Kame’s condition would allow.

Concerts included.

To his surprise, Johnny had eventually agreed.

And it had taken a little over forty eight endless hours, a hell of a lot of convincing - mostly Koki to keep his mouth shut and not spoil the surprise - and even a bigger hell of seeing Kame getting ready for today being the last day of his old life, before Jin allowed himself to believe things had really worked out the way they should have.

More than once in the last twenty minutes spent in Johnny’s office had Jin had to restrain himself from simply crossing the room and embracing Kame. And the urge had even increased when Kame had agreed on joining the group again. On starting again with them.

“Wait! You can’t take him away now!” Koki’s loud protest was followed by a string of similar objections from the others. “Kame, tell him that you don’t want to go!”

A single glace into Jin’s face though, and Kame shivered all over.

“Thank you, guys, for such a warm welcome,” Kame bowed with a serious face to show he really meant those words and was grateful for everything. However, their company was not what he wanted right now. He needed to talk to Jin, and only Jin. “But I should really go now. We will talk later anyway, right?”

Koki pouted. “That’s not fair. He has had you the last two weeks. - You can bet we will talk later.”

Kame put on a smile which froze on his lips right away though, as Jin made an unexpected move; sinking into the chair and sitting right on Kame’s lap and leaning backwards to rest against Kame’s shoulder. Cheerfully encouraged by Taguchi and Ueda. The action didn’t have any other meaning aside from fun, but it had Kame silently gasping and holding his breath.

“Take me to the car and I’ll take you home,” Jin smirked, completely relaxed.

Waving at the others and sending Koki a rather mocking grin, he didn’t even notice Kame tensed under him. Jin wasn’t more but sitting on Kame’s knees and lap and everything was meant to be just light and innocent and without underlying meanings. Jin had always been random like this, acting without thinking and rubbing off the strict borderlines of politeness while he was with friends. Kame had often seen him closely interacting with Yamapi in the past, or swooping down on Nakamaru and clinging to Ueda; and of course, Jin’s infamous closeness with his back dancers during his American career couldn’t have been forgotten. Not that Kame had been following the rumors or pushing Ryo into talking about Jin too much; however, shreds of information had always seemed to find a way to him anyway.

“Akanishi, what are you doing?”

“What? This is actually pretty cool! Ueda can you give us a push and we can ride through the whole hallway to the elevator.”

Ueda, standing in front of them and, unlike Kame, was able to see the expression in Jin’s face, rolled his eyes. Akanishi was still like a kid.

“Akanishi!”

“What?” Jin turned to Ueda. “Don’t say you haven’t thought about it.”

“I’m not pushing Kame down the hallway,” Ueda protested.

Kame still couldn’t breathe properly. “Thanks.”

“No one will blame you if you shake him off along the way down to the parking lot,” Koki said with a straight face, earning himself a dead glare from Jin.

“He won’t shake me off!”

And then Jin felt they were really moving. Kame’s hands dropped down to take a hold on the hand rims and maneuvered the chair in the direction of where the hallway was leading to the elevators. At first, it surprised him and he was about to slip down from Kame’s lap because in fact, he had been just joking before and hadn’t been expecting Kame to play along.

“Right, I won’t,” Kame cleared his throat, “but remember that I could.”

They said their good-byes, just quickly as they would meet the next day anyway to discuss the following steps that needed to be taken.

Koki was grimacing at Jin when Kame couldn’t see it anymore, already focused on carrying himself and his unexpected passenger to the elevator. Jin on his lap turned around so he could wave at the rest of the guys. Jin’s body twisted around and his hands gripped Kame’s shoulder in search for support. The sudden touch had Kame jolt, lose control over the chair and the course. They made a little slip and Jin was pressed flat against Kame’s torso, gripping his shoulders to keep himself on the other’s lap.

“KAME!”

“JIN!”

“AKANISHI!”

“KAME-CHAN!”

The panic-stricken voices of the others reached them the very moment the wheelchair had got out of control but by the time there had been already the whole span of the hallway separating Jin and Kame and their band mates. The voices resonated between the walls. None of them as high and outstanding as the shriek having come out of Jin’s throat though.

“Watch out!” Jin groaned peevishly yet was all jumpy right away. “Kame! Are you alright?”

Not really, Kame thought as his heart was pounding so much Jin must have felt it too. Their bodies were still tight against each other.

“What happened?”

However, Kame couldn’t have told Jin what an effect it had had on him when feeling Jin’s hands touching him. Kame bit his lip instead.

This was going to be impossible. Kame couldn’t believe he had got all jumpy because of something as simple and uncomplicated as Jin’s hands on his shoulders. It had almost sent them straight against a wall if Kame hadn’t got things under control. It was only a couple of days since Jin’s hand had accidentally landed way lower and on a much intimate part of him and all he had done back then was hold his breath. At this rate, if it kept going, Kame would be jumping out of a window only when Jin would enter the same room soon.

“It’s n-nothing?” Kame stuttered, trying to regain his composure so they would get to the car without crashing against something.

“Really? I’ll get down if you -”

“No!” The word snapped along with Kame’s hand flying up and pressing at Jin’s back, holding him at place. It was an action of pure instinct. When Kame’s brain caught up with his inconsiderate move, Kame sucked in a sharp breath and quickly pulled the hand away. “I mean…I…”

Shit.

“Hey you two! Is everything alright? What happened?” Maru’s worried voice was coming from the other end of the hallway.

“Kame!?” Koki called out.

Instinctively, as the first unconscious reaction was set off, Kame turned his head to look over his shoulder. Instead of a view of his band mates though, his face met with warm skin of Jin’s neck and Jin’s thick curls tickled Kame’s nose. A little noise got stuck in his throat. The scent of Jin’s cologne paralyzed Kame and he could only thank gods something like this hadn’t happened when the chair had been moving. His head was spinning.

“We are fine!” Jin shouted, annoyed by the fact that he actually had to care about the others at the moment. He hadn’t seen Kame this clumsy with the wheelchair before. Not even once. “Kame?”

A heavy sigh.

Something soft and wet was nuzzling Jin’s neck, as slightly as a ghost touch of something that might have never been there and Jin didn’t dare to move for the first shred of a second. It was confusing and a little strange, unexpected perhaps but not really uncomfortable, less the awkward position he was sitting in, the four guys watching from afar and the more or less public pattern of the place.

Not even a bit of inconveniency coming from Kame’s lips brushing against his neck. At first, Jin even remained still. He was sure his possible move, even a slow and gentle one, would have scared and alarmed the other.

Jin’s head tilted a bit without him noticing or actually inciting the move in any way. Kame’s breath, rather jerky and more held back than exhaled steadily, was hot and making Jin shiver. Soon, Jin was holding breath himself and his body pressed more against Kame’s chest.

Jin’s eyes shot wide and he pulled away a little the moment he realized what he was doing.

He was staring directly into Kame’s similarly bewildered eyes.

“Kazuya…?”

Kame flinched. Hearing his name from Jin threw him on an emotional roller coaster of feelings he had buried deep inside a long time ago; it was like a reminder of things and images he had tried to erase but they had sneaked back against his will. Then it got down to him. Everything. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out, voice trembling. His eyes were roaming anywhere but Jin. His lips were burning. In contrast to the cold sweat running down his back. “God, Jin, I’m so sorry, I don’t… I don’t know what… Shit.”

“Take us to the car.”

“But…”

Jin shook his head.

Not here. They were not going to talk about it here. And not now.

Definitely not now when Kame was quivering all over and Jin’s heart was hammering somewhere on the way up his throat while every other part of him was numb and shut down.

“Can you do it? Take us to the car?”

Led solely by Jin’s voice, Kame’s sweaty hands moved slippery over the hand rims. However, Kame had no idea where he was wheeling to.

Car.

He had to find the car.

And Jin’s weight was still heavy on his lap.

***

(part 7)