On why I use LJ the way I do
I wrote this to a friend, but by the time I was finished, it seemed like a pretty good post, so here it is.
You're right that LJ is an odd and interesting world, and it does bring up all sorts of fascinating questions about public and private space. Different people handle it in different ways -- many post only "friends-only", for example. I've made the decisions I have for a couple of reasons, some practical, some philosophical, and some personality-based.
The practical are that I'm already so out about my life, that except for anything work-related or recreational-chemical-related (which I always friends-lock), I don't worry about who's going to discover what. There's really no one left to shock. My coworkers and boss are aware, at least tangentially, that I'm Not the Average Bear. My family is. My friends all certainly are. I passed any point of electability years ago, in terms of available documentation of my debauchery. So the additional risks for me are moderately low. Secondly, it makes it easier for me to meet new people, because they can look at my public posts, at least, to get a general sense of me. I've made a lot of friends on LJ that way, and I find the benefits to be substantial enough to outweigh stalker risks. Also, it means old friends who might not have LJ accounts can at least get a general sense of what's up with me. Given that I'm still in touch with quite a large number of people from the past 17 or so years of my life, that's valuable to me too.
On the philosophical level, I'm very much an activist, and the small decisions I make it life are generally in some way influenced by my decision about what social effects my decisions may have. I think it's important and valuable for people to be out there, talking about their lives honestly, especially the things that surprise/shock/confuse people. I don't like that sexuality, and especially non-normative sexuality get hushed and hidden. Being public gives people a chance to humanize those experiences, learn things, share suggestions, feel less alone, etc. So some of my posts are public because I'm trying to share information (links, etc), and I want people to be able to share those beyond my friends list. Some are public because it doesn't bother me for them to be so, it provides a more accurate, realistic perspective on my life (whether that's the trivial or the bizarre), and I like my online representation of myself to be as accurate as possible, and as much of a chance as possible for people to satisfy some curiosity about what "people like that" are like as possible. And some of it's because I have my attention-whore/exhibitionist days, like most extroverts (I'm actually right on the border between extrovert and introvert, myself -- online community is great because it allows me to be social without getting too overwhelmed).
I think the single strangest thing for me about LJ, though, which is both good, and bad, and weird, and all of those at the same time, is how much my entire life intersects there. Friends from high school, friends from college, my siblings, my exes, my current partners, people from my patient-instructing and clinic-escorting groups, people from various other communities I frequent (a lot of folks from various bi mailing lists, for instance). It forces me to be the most holistic me I can be, which is a fascinating challenge. Not one I'm always 100% up for every day, though. There are times when it's nice to compartmentalize and just deal with the people who know Side Z or Perspective A of me, for example.
Still, I was talking to a friend on mine the other day about how LJ really kind of recreates a small college atmosphere (I spent 10 years at the school I went to, both as student and an employee) -- it allows tangential or occasional direct interactions without either requiring a huge outlay of energy or letting people totally drop off the face of the planet.
You're right that LJ is an odd and interesting world, and it does bring up all sorts of fascinating questions about public and private space. Different people handle it in different ways -- many post only "friends-only", for example. I've made the decisions I have for a couple of reasons, some practical, some philosophical, and some personality-based.
The practical are that I'm already so out about my life, that except for anything work-related or recreational-chemical-related (which I always friends-lock), I don't worry about who's going to discover what. There's really no one left to shock. My coworkers and boss are aware, at least tangentially, that I'm Not the Average Bear. My family is. My friends all certainly are. I passed any point of electability years ago, in terms of available documentation of my debauchery. So the additional risks for me are moderately low. Secondly, it makes it easier for me to meet new people, because they can look at my public posts, at least, to get a general sense of me. I've made a lot of friends on LJ that way, and I find the benefits to be substantial enough to outweigh stalker risks. Also, it means old friends who might not have LJ accounts can at least get a general sense of what's up with me. Given that I'm still in touch with quite a large number of people from the past 17 or so years of my life, that's valuable to me too.
On the philosophical level, I'm very much an activist, and the small decisions I make it life are generally in some way influenced by my decision about what social effects my decisions may have. I think it's important and valuable for people to be out there, talking about their lives honestly, especially the things that surprise/shock/confuse people. I don't like that sexuality, and especially non-normative sexuality get hushed and hidden. Being public gives people a chance to humanize those experiences, learn things, share suggestions, feel less alone, etc. So some of my posts are public because I'm trying to share information (links, etc), and I want people to be able to share those beyond my friends list. Some are public because it doesn't bother me for them to be so, it provides a more accurate, realistic perspective on my life (whether that's the trivial or the bizarre), and I like my online representation of myself to be as accurate as possible, and as much of a chance as possible for people to satisfy some curiosity about what "people like that" are like as possible. And some of it's because I have my attention-whore/exhibitionist days, like most extroverts (I'm actually right on the border between extrovert and introvert, myself -- online community is great because it allows me to be social without getting too overwhelmed).
I think the single strangest thing for me about LJ, though, which is both good, and bad, and weird, and all of those at the same time, is how much my entire life intersects there. Friends from high school, friends from college, my siblings, my exes, my current partners, people from my patient-instructing and clinic-escorting groups, people from various other communities I frequent (a lot of folks from various bi mailing lists, for instance). It forces me to be the most holistic me I can be, which is a fascinating challenge. Not one I'm always 100% up for every day, though. There are times when it's nice to compartmentalize and just deal with the people who know Side Z or Perspective A of me, for example.
Still, I was talking to a friend on mine the other day about how LJ really kind of recreates a small college atmosphere (I spent 10 years at the school I went to, both as student and an employee) -- it allows tangential or occasional direct interactions without either requiring a huge outlay of energy or letting people totally drop off the face of the planet.