[fic]
Username: sunflower_mynah
Class: Black Mage
Title: ...untitled.
Summary: Quina is always hungry, and Onion Knight sounds very yummy.
Characters/Pairings: Quina, Onion Knight.
Word count: 347
Rating/warnings: Crack.
A/N: I promised this to toffeethesnob. About high time I kept said promise, really.
I
Onion Knight had never considered forks a weapon before (for one thing, they weren’t part of Firion’s arsenal, and Firion had every weapon that existed) but when one came clanging abruptly down on his helmet, he changed his mind.
“Onion Knight? Sounds yummy! I eat!”
He fled.
II
Things that the Warriors of Cosmos learnt: one, that Quina was constantly hungry; two, that Quina thought onions would go very well with frogs (or at least, that it was worth a try); three, that Onion Knight’s helmet was very visible, and four, that it was not wise to get between a hungry Qu and an increasingly traumatised Onion Knight.
III
One of the topics of (semi-constant) debate was whether Onion Knight, like the black mages of Vivi’s world, was more helmet than body. The point of the debate was the debate itself, and therefore nobody had actually bothered to do the completely obvious thing and check.
This debate was promptly and abruptly resolved by Quina, who wandered into the camp clutching Onion Knight’s feathery helm and musing about the possibilities of feather and carrot soup.
Silence fell.
Onion Knight, hiding in a nearby bush and watching Quina carefully chop the feathers up, decided he’d rather fight three Chaos warriors all at once. At least none of them would try to make soup stock out of his helmet.
IV
He wasn’t sure how long it took before Quina decided that ‘tasty onion knight’ wasn’t actually meant for eating, and that the ‘legendary title’ had not, in fact, been awarded by a panel of judges at a cook-off.
He was also rather unsure as to how and why Quina had suddenly desisted from its single-minded pursuit of stir-fried Onion Knight. All he knew was that he could thank Zidane for Quina’s cessation of interest.
He was, however, not very pleased upon discovering two things.
One: the onion he’d been saving for crafting his legendary weapon (it was almost as legendary as his title) was missing.
Two: the stew Quina had made for dinner that night, while delicious, had tasted of onion.
Class: Black Mage
Title: ...untitled.
Summary: Quina is always hungry, and Onion Knight sounds very yummy.
Characters/Pairings: Quina, Onion Knight.
Word count: 347
Rating/warnings: Crack.
A/N: I promised this to toffeethesnob. About high time I kept said promise, really.
I
Onion Knight had never considered forks a weapon before (for one thing, they weren’t part of Firion’s arsenal, and Firion had every weapon that existed) but when one came clanging abruptly down on his helmet, he changed his mind.
“Onion Knight? Sounds yummy! I eat!”
He fled.
II
Things that the Warriors of Cosmos learnt: one, that Quina was constantly hungry; two, that Quina thought onions would go very well with frogs (or at least, that it was worth a try); three, that Onion Knight’s helmet was very visible, and four, that it was not wise to get between a hungry Qu and an increasingly traumatised Onion Knight.
III
One of the topics of (semi-constant) debate was whether Onion Knight, like the black mages of Vivi’s world, was more helmet than body. The point of the debate was the debate itself, and therefore nobody had actually bothered to do the completely obvious thing and check.
This debate was promptly and abruptly resolved by Quina, who wandered into the camp clutching Onion Knight’s feathery helm and musing about the possibilities of feather and carrot soup.
Silence fell.
Onion Knight, hiding in a nearby bush and watching Quina carefully chop the feathers up, decided he’d rather fight three Chaos warriors all at once. At least none of them would try to make soup stock out of his helmet.
IV
He wasn’t sure how long it took before Quina decided that ‘tasty onion knight’ wasn’t actually meant for eating, and that the ‘legendary title’ had not, in fact, been awarded by a panel of judges at a cook-off.
He was also rather unsure as to how and why Quina had suddenly desisted from its single-minded pursuit of stir-fried Onion Knight. All he knew was that he could thank Zidane for Quina’s cessation of interest.
He was, however, not very pleased upon discovering two things.
One: the onion he’d been saving for crafting his legendary weapon (it was almost as legendary as his title) was missing.
Two: the stew Quina had made for dinner that night, while delicious, had tasted of onion.