(no subject)
Ok, last week was my husband's turn to vent. Now it's my turn. I sort of feel like a whiny cry baby, but I can't help it. I am just so tired and stressed out right now.
Work is beyond frustrating these days. I just found out that in a matter of six weeks, I may not even have a job. Yeah, not funny. It seems that with budget cuts my funding source has been seriously diminished. They aren't sure what they are going to do, but since the government's fiscal year ends September 30th...they need to make a decision quick. That transfer that I'm up for has never been more important. There is still no word on what's going on with that though. I think they are hoping to get their act together and move me over so this whole mess disappears, but they can't do anything without the ok from HQ. It's never a good time to be out of work, but I'm 6 months pregnant. Who is going to hire me now? I was planning on working as long as I could, but that only really means til mid-November or so. I can't very well expect a company to hire me now and then go out on maternity leave a couple months later. I know there is always unemployment and disability, but I REALLY, REALLY hope that it doesn't get that far. The supervisor of the job I'm trying to transfer to is telling me not to stress because it will all work out. Easy for her to say. I am freaking out!
Besides that mess, I'm finding it very hard to deal with the day to day stuff...and this is where the whole whiny cry baby thing comes in. I am always so tired and now I'm feeling overwhelmed. The majority of the housework generally falls on me - it always has. In all fairness to my husband, he is the new guy in his office and he's working hard to get himself established there. That unfortunately means long hours. I understand that he has to work and that's not necessarily the issue. The problem is that as I get further along in the baby making process, the less I can keep up. I just don't have the energy anymore. With my husband working more, now all the house responsibilities are on me. I feel like I'm working 2 full time jobs (at least for now anyway). I get up at 4:30 am every day, I'm at the train station by 6:10, work all day, get home just before 6 pm and then start my second job. By the time I get into bed at night, I've literally been running around for 18 hours straight. I'm trying not to complain to him because I understand why he's doing what he's doing. But that doesn't help the fact that I'm wiped out. I try to do as much as I can on weekends, but that doesn't always work. Especially lately since we've had busy weekend after busy weekend.
I need a break that I just don't think is going to come. I'm trying not to take days off of work because I'm trying to save as much leave time as possible for maternity leave. That is of course assuming that things will work out and I have a job to take maternity leave from come the end of September. The baby is due in about 3 months, but according to all the doctors and ultrasounds, I'm planning on less. Things aren't going to get easier once the little jelly bean is here, but I'm prepared for that. My husband is doing what he can now to focus on work so that by the time the baby arrives he can take the time to be home. His schedule isn't going to get better anytime soon.
I don't know what else to do for the time being. All I can do about the job situation is sit, wait, and hope that HQ will get their act together sooner rather than later. As for the home stuff, I am trying to do what I can and prioritizing the rest. I'm not a neat freak or anything, but when the dinning room carpet used to be beige and is now black from all the cat hair...something needs to be done. Food needs to be in the fridge and clothes need to be cleaned. I just feel so overwhelmed and out of control.
Work is beyond frustrating these days. I just found out that in a matter of six weeks, I may not even have a job. Yeah, not funny. It seems that with budget cuts my funding source has been seriously diminished. They aren't sure what they are going to do, but since the government's fiscal year ends September 30th...they need to make a decision quick. That transfer that I'm up for has never been more important. There is still no word on what's going on with that though. I think they are hoping to get their act together and move me over so this whole mess disappears, but they can't do anything without the ok from HQ. It's never a good time to be out of work, but I'm 6 months pregnant. Who is going to hire me now? I was planning on working as long as I could, but that only really means til mid-November or so. I can't very well expect a company to hire me now and then go out on maternity leave a couple months later. I know there is always unemployment and disability, but I REALLY, REALLY hope that it doesn't get that far. The supervisor of the job I'm trying to transfer to is telling me not to stress because it will all work out. Easy for her to say. I am freaking out!
Besides that mess, I'm finding it very hard to deal with the day to day stuff...and this is where the whole whiny cry baby thing comes in. I am always so tired and now I'm feeling overwhelmed. The majority of the housework generally falls on me - it always has. In all fairness to my husband, he is the new guy in his office and he's working hard to get himself established there. That unfortunately means long hours. I understand that he has to work and that's not necessarily the issue. The problem is that as I get further along in the baby making process, the less I can keep up. I just don't have the energy anymore. With my husband working more, now all the house responsibilities are on me. I feel like I'm working 2 full time jobs (at least for now anyway). I get up at 4:30 am every day, I'm at the train station by 6:10, work all day, get home just before 6 pm and then start my second job. By the time I get into bed at night, I've literally been running around for 18 hours straight. I'm trying not to complain to him because I understand why he's doing what he's doing. But that doesn't help the fact that I'm wiped out. I try to do as much as I can on weekends, but that doesn't always work. Especially lately since we've had busy weekend after busy weekend.
I need a break that I just don't think is going to come. I'm trying not to take days off of work because I'm trying to save as much leave time as possible for maternity leave. That is of course assuming that things will work out and I have a job to take maternity leave from come the end of September. The baby is due in about 3 months, but according to all the doctors and ultrasounds, I'm planning on less. Things aren't going to get easier once the little jelly bean is here, but I'm prepared for that. My husband is doing what he can now to focus on work so that by the time the baby arrives he can take the time to be home. His schedule isn't going to get better anytime soon.
I don't know what else to do for the time being. All I can do about the job situation is sit, wait, and hope that HQ will get their act together sooner rather than later. As for the home stuff, I am trying to do what I can and prioritizing the rest. I'm not a neat freak or anything, but when the dinning room carpet used to be beige and is now black from all the cat hair...something needs to be done. Food needs to be in the fridge and clothes need to be cleaned. I just feel so overwhelmed and out of control.