(no subject)
After 28 years, 8 months of marriage; Ilan and I are finally getting a divorce.
He had asked a few years earlier but we decided to try to work things out. But he kept flirting on line with women he knew from high school and I kept distant which only made things worse. I did ask that we go for couples counseling and to work harder on the marriage. But his love for me is totally gone and I can tell there's no getting it back. He's moved on emotionally. Plus, he already has his heart set on someone else from his past.
After a week of alternating between crying, begging, getting angry, getting suicidal, and feeling numb to feeling okay....I think I am mostly okay. and mostly scared.
Just freaking out that I still have no job, no way to pay for any of the bills that come in. I can stay in the house for 5 years before I have to put it up for sale. But general costs for taxes & utilities is around $35K and that isn't even counting food, clothing, gas, and medical costs.
Ilan's mediator says that I am not due any alimony, and he is not responsible for any of the house bills.
I am sad for I never thought at at my age, I'd be single and have to start over again. I probably won't even be able to afford a townhouse or condo in my old age. No idea where I'll live once I have to move out of this house. I'll probably have to work until I die. I don't see dating or marriage again in my future.
He had asked a few years earlier but we decided to try to work things out. But he kept flirting on line with women he knew from high school and I kept distant which only made things worse. I did ask that we go for couples counseling and to work harder on the marriage. But his love for me is totally gone and I can tell there's no getting it back. He's moved on emotionally. Plus, he already has his heart set on someone else from his past.
After a week of alternating between crying, begging, getting angry, getting suicidal, and feeling numb to feeling okay....I think I am mostly okay. and mostly scared.
Just freaking out that I still have no job, no way to pay for any of the bills that come in. I can stay in the house for 5 years before I have to put it up for sale. But general costs for taxes & utilities is around $35K and that isn't even counting food, clothing, gas, and medical costs.
Ilan's mediator says that I am not due any alimony, and he is not responsible for any of the house bills.
I am sad for I never thought at at my age, I'd be single and have to start over again. I probably won't even be able to afford a townhouse or condo in my old age. No idea where I'll live once I have to move out of this house. I'll probably have to work until I die. I don't see dating or marriage again in my future.