I'll maybe steal a little guile from you, I should run a mile from you
I'm 59 years old and I'm two decades divorced from nearly two decades of relationship and marriage to one woman, I'm the father of children grown to adulthood. I'm on a couple of dating apps. I date women roughly my age. It is interesting to read for what women say they are looking, in terms of a relationship.
There are women on these apps who are my age, single (as in never married, not divorced), childless, and the longest relationship they've ever been in is FIVE years...or THREE years, but these women say that they are looking for commitment, a long-term relationship, or marriage. Do they even understand what these things are, what these concepts even mean? When did they ever learn? They've NEVER, by their own account, lived that experience. None of them feel the least inclination to explain what may have changed, or what they've learned that would enable them to successfully pursue such a relationship now, probably because they have no clue about their own ignorance.
What I find amazing is that there seem to be so many of these women. I would expect to see widows and divorcees in more abundance, in my age group, but maybe women in those circumstances do not participate in dating apps to the extent that the other sort do. Perhaps they are remarried or otherwise in a successful partnership.
Perhaps many women are reluctant to mention that they are divorced or have children, adult or otherwise? It doesn't seem like something that can be obscured for too long if one is going on dates with someone. The thing is though, they say that they are looking for commitment, for a long-term relationship or marriage. I understand that one's profile is made in the effort to meet someone for a date and it is not a resume for a job interview. A date should be about fun and just getting a feel for the basics of who the other person is for the first few dates, at least. The thing is, when someone is putting their relationship desires into a profile, you'd expect them to talk about them, I would think. I see something similar when I read profiles where a woman talks about having the most wonderful and inspiring career…and then doesn't even say what it is she does or what she likes about it. I've seen women talk about having "wonderful kids" and mentioning how "their kids come first," but subsequently have nothing to say about their children, how many, what ages. They don't talk about what they love about being a mother or what they find special or moving about raising their children. It seems rather inconsistent. Perhaps they are seeking validation for having the career or raising the children, and mentioning these things is only a means to the end of eliciting passing validation.