First off, feel free to tell me to go f-myself for telling you what I think! This is just going to be my opinion, and you know what they say about those and assholes...everybody's got one.
OK, that said - don't apologize for what you write in your diary and don't attribute it to "girl" brain. You're an adult with a legitimate problem, an important one. You have every right to possess and express your feelings and worries and absolutely not one tiny fraction of a need to apologize for it or diminish it. ( :) )
My opinion as far as what you should do probably isn't popular, but I think you should walk away. I don't think you should outright reject this person you feel so strongly for, but making your boundaries (and your self worth!) known and clear right from the outset will set the tone for the rest of your relationship with him. Likewise, waiting around for him to make a decision could set a tone of lesser value to your role in his life for the rest of your relationship with him.
You are a delightful, beautiful, caring person that any man should be not only proud to be associated with, but he should also have the ability to select you without hesitation. So my advice to you is firmly but sweetly tell him that you want to be with him, but not like this, and then get on with your life. If he's worth being with, then he will end it with the Hawaii girl and pursue you with vigor. If he doesn't do that, then you know for sure that it would not have been as amazing as you'd hoped. If he does, then you might have a real opportunity for something amazing to happen!
I wrote this entry entirely *for* outside opinions on the situation, so thank you very much for your input. :)
What you said makes a lot of sense... I think if he doesn't make a decision very soon, I will probably do exactly what you have suggested, because I really can't wait around... it makes the parts of me that remember the past rise up in protest and yell at me that I'm being stupid, and I'm just gonna get hurt again.
I think I'm going to give him a little bit more time before I walk away though... I already told him I'm not waiting until she gets back from Hawaii, but maybe me walking away will help him realize what he's losing? Haha, that sounded *really* egotistical.
OK, that said - don't apologize for what you write in your diary and don't attribute it to "girl" brain. You're an adult with a legitimate problem, an important one. You have every right to possess and express your feelings and worries and absolutely not one tiny fraction of a need to apologize for it or diminish it. ( :) )
My opinion as far as what you should do probably isn't popular, but I think you should walk away. I don't think you should outright reject this person you feel so strongly for, but making your boundaries (and your self worth!) known and clear right from the outset will set the tone for the rest of your relationship with him. Likewise, waiting around for him to make a decision could set a tone of lesser value to your role in his life for the rest of your relationship with him.
You are a delightful, beautiful, caring person that any man should be not only proud to be associated with, but he should also have the ability to select you without hesitation. So my advice to you is firmly but sweetly tell him that you want to be with him, but not like this, and then get on with your life. If he's worth being with, then he will end it with the Hawaii girl and pursue you with vigor. If he doesn't do that, then you know for sure that it would not have been as amazing as you'd hoped. If he does, then you might have a real opportunity for something amazing to happen!
Much love to ya, kiddo. Good luck.
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What you said makes a lot of sense... I think if he doesn't make a decision very soon, I will probably do exactly what you have suggested, because I really can't wait around... it makes the parts of me that remember the past rise up in protest and yell at me that I'm being stupid, and I'm just gonna get hurt again.
I think I'm going to give him a little bit more time before I walk away though... I already told him I'm not waiting until she gets back from Hawaii, but maybe me walking away will help him realize what he's losing? Haha, that sounded *really* egotistical.
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