Kinda girl brain and emo-esque... sorry.
I'm in a situation where if I explain it to outside people, to most of them it sounds bad, but it really isn't. Except it kinda is. I dunno.
I met someone amazing. Reconnected with them, really. We have so much in common... it's crazy. I think there is quite a bit of potential there. My close friends approve of him, which means a lot to me.
The only problem is... he's trying to decide between another girl and myself.
That's the part that sounds bad. But I totally understand, because when we started talking again, it wasn't even as a dating type of deal... and we were both going on dates with more than one person at the time, getting to know them and whatnot, which is fine. But then as he and I kept talking, and flirting... well. When he came up to see me that first time sparks flew, and we clicked so well. We always do. I just happened to have just told the people I went on dates with that it wasn't gonna work out, but he has another girl he also clicked with. He hasn't seen her since we started talking (she's in Hawaii), and he told me about her right off the bat, which I appreciate. He also comes up to see me every chance he gets (he lives in Renton). The only thing is... I hate being decided on.
I told myself I'd never wait for anyone again... I've always come in second best before, or if I was chosen, they regretted it. So a huge part of me is telling me to walk away now before I'm hurt again. I don't want to walk away too soon though... I don't want to walk out on something that could be amazing. It's incredibly difficult for me to just sit back and wait, though. Not with what's happened in the past.
I've told him all this, and more... there's a lot more, but this is the basics. He understands, and feels bad that this situation has even happened... he's never been in a situation like this before, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone. He just wants to be sure, which rationally, I totally understand. The girl in me hates it though.
So what do I do? I don't want to walk away yet, but I'm not going to just wait forever. I am so flipping happy when I'm with him, but after he leaves and I remember the situation I get so close to just giving up.
Ugh. I hate this.