(no subject)
I don't blog anymore cos I just don't feel like it. I never thought I'd ever feel this way. I often wondered how people can just stop blogging. Now I know. But with this many thoughts running through my mind and no other outlet to sort them out, guess I'll start writing again.
--
I'm pretty much occupied with work and thoughts about school which ultimately leads to me thinking about the future a lot.
I am burdened by the wrong choices I made and I have never felt a stronger urge to run away. I just wanna pull down the curtains, lock the door and sit in this darkened room till someone or something kicks me in the head. But that's not gonna happen cos my foot can't reach that high. I wish I can stop being a pussy and man up.
Wish wishes wished
Wishful thoughts elibriate as Dustin would say it.
How do I get out of this abysmal ditch? I feel like a lost cause sometimes. One of the things I'm dead sure of if I don't get my shit in order is my mother's disappointment. A thousand apologies just won't cut it.
It really doesn't help that I'm a hedonist, almost; can't really be one else I won't be typing all this down ):
--
It helps to know that I have Mon. He might not know it but my will to not fail him is even greater than not to fail myself.
Is that a good thing? *shrugs
I just love him and I need to go sleep now.
--
I'm pretty much occupied with work and thoughts about school which ultimately leads to me thinking about the future a lot.
I am burdened by the wrong choices I made and I have never felt a stronger urge to run away. I just wanna pull down the curtains, lock the door and sit in this darkened room till someone or something kicks me in the head. But that's not gonna happen cos my foot can't reach that high. I wish I can stop being a pussy and man up.
Wish wishes wished
Wishful thoughts elibriate as Dustin would say it.
How do I get out of this abysmal ditch? I feel like a lost cause sometimes. One of the things I'm dead sure of if I don't get my shit in order is my mother's disappointment. A thousand apologies just won't cut it.
It really doesn't help that I'm a hedonist, almost; can't really be one else I won't be typing all this down ):
--
It helps to know that I have Mon. He might not know it but my will to not fail him is even greater than not to fail myself.
Is that a good thing? *shrugs
I just love him and I need to go sleep now.