That 'Feeling' that I get.
You know that feeling when you’ve finished a book, or a drama, and you feel like something is lost? Y’know.. that feeling when the end of that great story that you’ve immersed yourself in emotionally, mentally/psychologically, cathartically, figuratively, pseudo-experientially causes a void inside you?
It is like that tug on your heart when you break up with someone. It’s like saying goodbye to something good. It’s like closing up a chapter that you have been living in/with for some time. It’s like killing/sending off that particular aspect of ‘living’ that you have been hoping for for life.
It’s irrational and ridiculously silly if I tell you that I feel hurt/pained when I end a book or a drama series or even a movie. But this is exactly how I feel. It’s like.. I’ve fallen in love with the story in that book or drama plot. I’ve fallen in love with the personalities and narratives of the characters. I’ve fallen for them. Now I’ve to deal with their absence, their ‘abandonment’. ‘Abandonment’, because they’ve left me alone-again-in a harsh, cold, bleak, boring world/reality.
I don’t like my reality. If you books and dramas are so realistic that I can immerse my emotions and mind like that-so involved, so completely taken in-why is it that my life pales so much in comparison to your realities? It’s not like your plots don’t have pain, death, loss, sadness. I've shed tears for your characters. So why is it that I’m happier when I’m crying for you than for myself? I’m okay with crying over you people in books or dramas. Not that I think this is alright just because your pain isn’t mine. It’s because.. your pain and eventual end to your life, your conclusion, is prettier than mine. Prettier, as in, what I’d like to be possible in my life.
Perhaps this is the draw of dramas and books. They are always more ‘realistic’ than my life.
It is like that tug on your heart when you break up with someone. It’s like saying goodbye to something good. It’s like closing up a chapter that you have been living in/with for some time. It’s like killing/sending off that particular aspect of ‘living’ that you have been hoping for for life.
It’s irrational and ridiculously silly if I tell you that I feel hurt/pained when I end a book or a drama series or even a movie. But this is exactly how I feel. It’s like.. I’ve fallen in love with the story in that book or drama plot. I’ve fallen in love with the personalities and narratives of the characters. I’ve fallen for them. Now I’ve to deal with their absence, their ‘abandonment’. ‘Abandonment’, because they’ve left me alone-again-in a harsh, cold, bleak, boring world/reality.
I don’t like my reality. If you books and dramas are so realistic that I can immerse my emotions and mind like that-so involved, so completely taken in-why is it that my life pales so much in comparison to your realities? It’s not like your plots don’t have pain, death, loss, sadness. I've shed tears for your characters. So why is it that I’m happier when I’m crying for you than for myself? I’m okay with crying over you people in books or dramas. Not that I think this is alright just because your pain isn’t mine. It’s because.. your pain and eventual end to your life, your conclusion, is prettier than mine. Prettier, as in, what I’d like to be possible in my life.
Perhaps this is the draw of dramas and books. They are always more ‘realistic’ than my life.