A Guy Walks Into a Bar......................
......................and strikes out
HAHA, last night was a freaking mess, and it was all me, but whatever. Not sure what I did that was event worthy prior to DC ast night, so I'll start from the drinking part or so. Me, Justin, Mike, and Matt went to happy hour(s) in DC. On the way there we played parking space chicken with a huge douche in a Landrover, and we almost won, but the old bastard was about two seconds away from from taking out the taurus, So anyways we ended up finding a space just as close, and I thought we should've let some air out of the dudes tires or something, but I settled for the fact that he has to wake up everyday and realize he is a prick. So the bar was good, I wont name any names, but the bar is on M st bitches...............fancy I realize. The drinks were free, and in between beers and shooters, I spent most of my time looking at girls that I wouldnt talk to, and analyzing with my friends and the bartender how my hair is thining on the top of my dome....damned wall was a huge mirror, and I couldnt help but stare at myself drinking. Then someone had the not so brilliant idea of leaving the free bar with women, and going to a dead bar with dudes playing pool, and a few women who most likely drive a produce truck for a living. The place was tiring, but they had cold beer and sports on tv, but hell thats my usual mon - fri, so I just kicked back and drank some more for goodluck. After my friends drilled through a shrimp pizza (I still have no idea why), we went back to Arlington, and I decided it would be a great idea to drink some mixed drinks, eat some texas toast since all I had for dinner was a freakin triple decker PB&J sammy, then I took a drunk shower somewhere around one am, played some tiger woods golf, and listened to what I am guessing was adult top 40 shit on my computer..........all I need is a "The Truth Is Out There" t-shirt, and I will have officially given up.
Anyhoo I guess these last few drinks just put me over the edge, and I was pretty drinky. Called my ex-girlfriend Rachael, and left two long messages after I had talked to her while she was at a bar, at this point I pass out with phone in hand waiting for a call back, because I always expect too much. Well my phone goes off around 230 am, and since im in a stuper I drop my phone and look for my stereo remote, because my dumbass was drunk and had been listening to the beastie boys new cd going to bed, but my ringtone is also beastie boys so I basically answered a remote and turned down the volume with my phone...............ugh. Well since nobody should really care about the conversation, lets just say it was actually good, and it turned into a positive drunk dial, and things are more normal then ever, and were still friends, so I guess I havent burned all my bridges yet.
As for today I saw a few exciting things in midst of this horrible weather thats reminding me of Maine during fishing season. John Mayer has a tv is the name of his actual tv show, and it is actually funny, so give it a shot, its different, and you can trust me because I dont own his music and im not a die hard fan, but I know funny. then I saw a great cops episode in Indianapolis, which basically had all the shows stereotypes happen in one sequence. first a black dude got drunk and tried to give his wife which he is seperated from, a vcr, maybe even a beta max player. She didnt want it so naturally he choked her, and she then tried to stab him, well the dude clearly is claiming he was beaten.....didnt work, so he gets cuffed. On the way out I see the womens neighbor has a huge confederate flag flying nextdoor, which im sure she,, being black, loves......classy midwest town, not even the south. Anyhow, while the guy is sitting down and complaining the most loaded peice of white trash nascar hick loser stumbles in mid day into the cop holding a BUDWEISER can, so drunk he cant barely speak, so he is baffled, and gets cuffed up too, for added effect the dudes dad stumbles down the road but smartly avoids the cops, all while kids are watching this shit go down.....if only the white dude was shirtless, it woud have summed up every cops episode in a single segment, god it was just sad.
In closing, if there are any ladies reading, as I drunkenly noticed my thining hair, I have realized im running out of time to find someone, because once it goes ill be another notch lower then I am right now. If one can get the girl and then lose the hair later, he has won, and I know people like this, so my time is running out............ladies throw yourself at me now while I still have my hair and a bit of dignity left. I have a car too!!!
UGH. If I only had That 1980's Richard Marx helmet hair, I would rule the scene.
shimmy shimmy co co pop...........
Later.
HAHA, last night was a freaking mess, and it was all me, but whatever. Not sure what I did that was event worthy prior to DC ast night, so I'll start from the drinking part or so. Me, Justin, Mike, and Matt went to happy hour(s) in DC. On the way there we played parking space chicken with a huge douche in a Landrover, and we almost won, but the old bastard was about two seconds away from from taking out the taurus, So anyways we ended up finding a space just as close, and I thought we should've let some air out of the dudes tires or something, but I settled for the fact that he has to wake up everyday and realize he is a prick. So the bar was good, I wont name any names, but the bar is on M st bitches...............fancy I realize. The drinks were free, and in between beers and shooters, I spent most of my time looking at girls that I wouldnt talk to, and analyzing with my friends and the bartender how my hair is thining on the top of my dome....damned wall was a huge mirror, and I couldnt help but stare at myself drinking. Then someone had the not so brilliant idea of leaving the free bar with women, and going to a dead bar with dudes playing pool, and a few women who most likely drive a produce truck for a living. The place was tiring, but they had cold beer and sports on tv, but hell thats my usual mon - fri, so I just kicked back and drank some more for goodluck. After my friends drilled through a shrimp pizza (I still have no idea why), we went back to Arlington, and I decided it would be a great idea to drink some mixed drinks, eat some texas toast since all I had for dinner was a freakin triple decker PB&J sammy, then I took a drunk shower somewhere around one am, played some tiger woods golf, and listened to what I am guessing was adult top 40 shit on my computer..........all I need is a "The Truth Is Out There" t-shirt, and I will have officially given up.
Anyhoo I guess these last few drinks just put me over the edge, and I was pretty drinky. Called my ex-girlfriend Rachael, and left two long messages after I had talked to her while she was at a bar, at this point I pass out with phone in hand waiting for a call back, because I always expect too much. Well my phone goes off around 230 am, and since im in a stuper I drop my phone and look for my stereo remote, because my dumbass was drunk and had been listening to the beastie boys new cd going to bed, but my ringtone is also beastie boys so I basically answered a remote and turned down the volume with my phone...............ugh. Well since nobody should really care about the conversation, lets just say it was actually good, and it turned into a positive drunk dial, and things are more normal then ever, and were still friends, so I guess I havent burned all my bridges yet.
As for today I saw a few exciting things in midst of this horrible weather thats reminding me of Maine during fishing season. John Mayer has a tv is the name of his actual tv show, and it is actually funny, so give it a shot, its different, and you can trust me because I dont own his music and im not a die hard fan, but I know funny. then I saw a great cops episode in Indianapolis, which basically had all the shows stereotypes happen in one sequence. first a black dude got drunk and tried to give his wife which he is seperated from, a vcr, maybe even a beta max player. She didnt want it so naturally he choked her, and she then tried to stab him, well the dude clearly is claiming he was beaten.....didnt work, so he gets cuffed. On the way out I see the womens neighbor has a huge confederate flag flying nextdoor, which im sure she,, being black, loves......classy midwest town, not even the south. Anyhow, while the guy is sitting down and complaining the most loaded peice of white trash nascar hick loser stumbles in mid day into the cop holding a BUDWEISER can, so drunk he cant barely speak, so he is baffled, and gets cuffed up too, for added effect the dudes dad stumbles down the road but smartly avoids the cops, all while kids are watching this shit go down.....if only the white dude was shirtless, it woud have summed up every cops episode in a single segment, god it was just sad.
In closing, if there are any ladies reading, as I drunkenly noticed my thining hair, I have realized im running out of time to find someone, because once it goes ill be another notch lower then I am right now. If one can get the girl and then lose the hair later, he has won, and I know people like this, so my time is running out............ladies throw yourself at me now while I still have my hair and a bit of dignity left. I have a car too!!!
UGH. If I only had That 1980's Richard Marx helmet hair, I would rule the scene.
shimmy shimmy co co pop...........
Later.