Thanks for the reply,cinema babe. I have been with S a year and a half. I agree. My daughter needs to be my primary focus. So far she has been doing good. She has been happier since we moved out. I know that was best for her also,which was another reason I felt I had to leave.
In regards to C. I know she is a good person in spite of our difficulties. She had to adjust to me and S becoming attached very quickly and deeply in a short span of time. Anyone would struggle with jealousy. I admit to feeling it as well. That being said,she handled it very badly. She often lashed out and sulked. I would visit before moving in and she would start fights with him while I was there. I did my best to be sensitive to her feelings. I called her "the queen bee" because she felt since she was legally his wife and their first she deserved more nights with him and regulated the rules unfairly. If it was her night to have him in her bed,I was not allowed to lay down during the day to have a nap with him. However! She could make love with him while I sat out in the living room alone during the day. Things like that. She always wanted higher priority. As I said,I don't blame her for needing reassurance and feeling insecure,but my time with him was often controlled by her. It still is now. To be fair,there were times while living there that I struggled with myself. Whenever I would hear noises of intimacy in their bedroom I became extremely upset and would break down. One of the many reasons I needed to not live under the same roof as them. I never asked for time that was supposed to be hers or in any way monopolize their relationship,but I struggled with sharing it under the same home. It still is hard that he is not monogamous,but my behavior has improved a bit since moving out....at least I have handled my anxiety more calmly.
It may appear that way,but we do not see C as the evil queen. He is simply holding on to an unrealistic vision. He wants us to be friends one day and live as one big happy family. I guess we both have unrealistic hopes...but I am able to face mine isn't going to happen. I have no delusions that he will wake up and say,"I wasn't really poly. I was just waiting for you." Then,POOF! He will spend his life with me in my daughter only in a house with a white picket fence. LOL,not ever happening.
My logical side says to do as you say,my emotions keep taking over and don't want to let him go. We were broken up for a month and we were both so devastated. Ugh. I wish I could drown my feelings.
In regards to C. I know she is a good person in spite of our difficulties. She had to adjust to me and S becoming attached very quickly and deeply in a short span of time. Anyone would struggle with jealousy. I admit to feeling it as well. That being said,she handled it very badly. She often lashed out and sulked. I would visit before moving in and she would start fights with him while I was there. I did my best to be sensitive to her feelings. I called her "the queen bee" because she felt since she was legally his wife and their first she deserved more nights with him and regulated the rules unfairly. If it was her night to have him in her bed,I was not allowed to lay down during the day to have a nap with him. However! She could make love with him while I sat out in the living room alone during the day. Things like that. She always wanted higher priority. As I said,I don't blame her for needing reassurance and feeling insecure,but my time with him was often controlled by her. It still is now. To be fair,there were times while living there that I struggled with myself. Whenever I would hear noises of intimacy in their bedroom I became extremely upset and would break down. One of the many reasons I needed to not live under the same roof as them. I never asked for time that was supposed to be hers or in any way monopolize their relationship,but I struggled with sharing it under the same home. It still is hard that he is not monogamous,but my behavior has improved a bit since moving out....at least I have handled my anxiety more calmly.
It may appear that way,but we do not see C as the evil queen. He is simply holding on to an unrealistic vision. He wants us to be friends one day and live as one big happy family. I guess we both have unrealistic hopes...but I am able to face mine isn't going to happen. I have no delusions that he will wake up and say,"I wasn't really poly. I was just waiting for you." Then,POOF! He will spend his life with me in my daughter only in a house with a white picket fence. LOL,not ever happening.
My logical side says to do as you say,my emotions keep taking over and don't want to let him go. We were broken up for a month and we were both so devastated. Ugh. I wish I could drown my feelings.
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