the aftermath
so i went to monikas about 1:30. i told her that she has to talk and tell me how she feels. she didnt do the best job. but idk i got what i needed. so i aksed her. i was like ok monika. i know were already broken up right now but i need to know what u want. do u want to break up, i need to hear it from u directly. i need to hear what u want, i said take all the time u want. so she sat there like turned away crying for a while and i held her and then she ran downstaires and came back upstaires with a tissure. she did the same hting and i just let her think and held her. she took a while so i sed. i dont wnat to do this but you seem like u cant do it. is this how u feel? u like me a lot and ur sad that ur losing me cuz im a great boyfriend but for osme reason u just dont wnat to go out with me. she kinda nodded and sat and thought. then she got up and sed. well. i just. i just want to be friends. i said ok. anything else shes like idk! so ya. there was a lot of talkign before she turned away and started crying about other stuff it was about the same situation but ya. so i sed ok well be friends if u dotn wnat to go out. then she put her head on my shoulder and i told her what was oging to happen. i said we will be friends and i will always be there for u. im still oging to give u rides home after school and were still going to talk and hang out. i told her that if she ever needs me for anything, even to be a boyfriend for like a day or sumthign stupid like that then im here for her. then we talked about friends with benefits.we both dont think it would work right away. maybe later but right now idk. so i told her its going to be hard for me to just be friends though cuz that is all i know her as, my girlfriend. she sed ok. but i stressed it a lot. i wasl ike monika im going to be really bad around u. she sed its ok i dont mind ian! so then we wnet out i took her to see my truck im geting tommorow we had a lot of fun driving around talkign and laughing. then i had to do some stuff for my dad then we picked up rob and went to the lot to feed jake. then we came to my house which is where im at now. shes in colins room. it sux not beign able to think. hell ya, shes mine! it hurts hanging around her with everyone else. i really dont like it at all. i miss her so much. so very much. i just wnat her to want me. and i told her that. then i told heri cant change how u think so im just going to have to live with it. she seemed very happy after the talk and im glad. i really am glad shes happy. i told her that shell get away with what she did with me but she better take it as a lesson that the next time she has a boyfriend she cnat do that. she sed ok thanx i know. so ya. things have been worked out. but its really hard to look at her and know and have to think that shes not my girl friend. i miss her so much. my baby is gone. yet shes in the next room.