(no subject)
so... i was in the shower when i had the strangest thought come to me
that i could forgive my mother
out of all the people that have done something bad to me, she was one of the few i thought i could NEVER forgive. lately though, she's been actually TRYING to be a mother. i've been broke, so she has been buying me my meds along with other things i might need. it's so strange. i dont think i can completely forgive her yet... but slowly i am.
i mean, i forgave my dad instantly. he was gone for 22 years and then just decided one day to get ahold of me and i forgave him right away! no questions asked.
still though... i dont feel really close to the man. i dont FEEL like he's my father... just an acquaintance.
i think i could even forgive ricky if he showed TRUE remorse for what he did. he still denies it and blames me and threatens me... so i cant really forgive him yet. even if i did forgive him, i still couldnt hang out with him and be his friend like i USED to.
maybe i just forgive too easily. i have forgiven josh 1000000000000000 times, and any other person who has done anything to me.
still, there is that doubt in the back of my mind after they have betrayed my trust; but i like to believe the best in people. despite ALL of my previous rants... i really do.
the "fuck you" posts are just around to vent my anger and frustration and im usually over it in no time at all.
and this is why people walk all over me
that i could forgive my mother
out of all the people that have done something bad to me, she was one of the few i thought i could NEVER forgive. lately though, she's been actually TRYING to be a mother. i've been broke, so she has been buying me my meds along with other things i might need. it's so strange. i dont think i can completely forgive her yet... but slowly i am.
i mean, i forgave my dad instantly. he was gone for 22 years and then just decided one day to get ahold of me and i forgave him right away! no questions asked.
still though... i dont feel really close to the man. i dont FEEL like he's my father... just an acquaintance.
i think i could even forgive ricky if he showed TRUE remorse for what he did. he still denies it and blames me and threatens me... so i cant really forgive him yet. even if i did forgive him, i still couldnt hang out with him and be his friend like i USED to.
maybe i just forgive too easily. i have forgiven josh 1000000000000000 times, and any other person who has done anything to me.
still, there is that doubt in the back of my mind after they have betrayed my trust; but i like to believe the best in people. despite ALL of my previous rants... i really do.
the "fuck you" posts are just around to vent my anger and frustration and im usually over it in no time at all.
and this is why people walk all over me