(no subject)

[monkiesrafterme]

im tired

i hate ihop with a passion

jim wants me... i dunno how to feel about that. he came all the way from elyria to bring me some water at avon commons just because i was thirsty. very sweet of him.

still love frodo though. im still worried about him

i hope im not disappointed when i see him... and vice versa. im always afraid people will be disappointed when they see me. im too ugly... too fat... too this, too that. im not really all that confident in anything i do. i should be... but i cant. i guess all these years of being called a failure just is getting to me. im not good enough for anything i guess.

i need to stop with the negative thinking, though i cant help it

i want a new life

i want one where i KNOW im loved, where im actually a success, where i know im pretty and im confident in everything i do

but the world isnt perfect, nobody is perfect... neither am i

there was soooo much i wanted to write in here last night, but couldnt. now that i have the opprotunity to... im forgetting.

i think i need a nap. lol