My life as a wife...
... is no different than it was when we weren't married LOL
I've been married for a month. So far so good :)
Today I am going to Mississauga to stay overnight for a work conference I have to attend in the morning. I'm freaking out. I don't travel a lot by myself so I'm quite nervous. My aunt is picking me up from the train station and then I should be getting the Greyhound home tomorrow night... so I don't know why I'm nervous, it's all quite easy peasey eggs and cheesy but I've got butterflies in my basket.
Another reason I'm nervous is this is my first conference for work and while I won't be there representing my company as I'm going to be a minion for the event planners (to fill in for my boss who is on the committee but has gone to Nashville for the week), it's still a big conference with real possible clients etc. My mom said I should bring business cards and network but I honestly don't think I'll have time to network and how does it look to the president of the company I work for if I'm passing out business cards under his nose to get an "in" if Ray and I ever move to Southern Ontario? So I'm not bringing cards. I'm bringing my wonderful self who is great at being a minion/gopher (which were my fav jobs when I worked at the bakery lol)
I'm also in a weird mood because I'm not sure if I'm where I want to be in life at my age (lol makes me sound old and really I'm still quite young). My relationships are great so no complaints there - I have a great network of friends (true friends) and an amazing family with the best parental units a girl could ask for. My husband is the person who I can't see my life without and though he jokes that he'll leave me someday and that he totally gets the cat in the divorce, I know he loves me too. My issue is with my work life... am I doing what I want to do? Do I want to do marketing? I do this all the time - flip flop. I think, well maybe I don't want to be in the marketing world forever - but then I think about the plans I have to start my own business. Then I think I'd rather just be a writer and write down all the ideas I have for books... but then I question if the ideas are dumb, if people would actually care and if I have it in me to devote the time to physically write (I've written chapters in my mind, just haven't gotten them down). The other day I toyed with being a history teacher but then I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons and I can't do that. Plus the teaching world is far more competitive and political than the marketing world. I want to be rewarded for my creativity. I've got a lot and I don't mean to boast but it's one of the few features that I like to promote about myself. The other day I was told to scale back my creativity at work as they thought it wasn't professional enough and that's why we aren't getting the interest that we did before. I was hurt and I can't take constructive criticism well. It just cemented in my mind that if I stay in marketing, I need to work somewhere that I can be crazy and hilarious and it still works for the company... some magical company that doesn't exist or is hiring lol. I'm very lucky to have the job I do in Peterborough and there are like zero jobs out there right now. My bestie said to me the other day at tea that this job was never meant to be permanent but that it's a stepping stone to greater things - and she's right. I need to keep telling myself that I won't be working at the company I work for forever. I did some layout design the other day and was happier than a pig in shit! So perhaps that is another avenue to explore... another stepping stone.
Hope you all are well. I know one of you is going through a very tough time right now and I know there isn't much one can say on the internet to comfort you... a virtual hug can only go so far. But know that I'm thinking about you and that you have a great support system.