FML.
Must write this super-duper quickly.
Jay and I are at the Amherst library and only have a few minutes before we need to be home to give Sarah a ride to the bus.
We woke up the other day to find out that we no longer have Internet or digital cable. The cable I can do without, not having internet is killing me!
What am I supposed to do with my time home alone now???
Stare at the baby?
*laughs*
The baby and I are doing well.
I'm feeling a bit better. My Dr. also increased my Zoloft from 100mgs, to 150mgs. I did, however, get very depressed yesterday and bawled my eyes out.
That could have been situational though.
We are SO DAMN BROKE. Like, I have $10 to my name, Sarah's out of a job now (thanks to the lay-off that happens when working at a college), I'm obviously out of work, and Jay is not making enough to cover all of our expenses, not that he should.
Having our Comcast service shut off is a big wake-up call, and, though we don't have official dates yet, either the cell phones or the electricity is next...
Sooo, we decided yesterday that we have to break our lease. It officially ends August 1st, but we have decided to leave on June 20th. That's just over a month.. eeeek! I HATE moving. Well, the process of it. So, because we have no money, our ONLY option is to move in with my parents in Billerica. *Cries*
I believe I wrote before about many of my reservations regarding moving there. I'm still full of worry and anxiety over it. Especially because of space issues, living with FAMILY, having to deal with the stress between my mom and my sister, and what's going to happen with Dweezil. They REALLY don't want Dweezil to come with us, they feel like it would kill their own cat. Both cats are alpha males... My parents cat has started to spray since they moved a few years ago, and the vet says he's starting to go senile. Awesome.
But, I REFUSE to go anywhere without my kitty. He and I are super duper attached to each other.
*sigh*
I know, he's -just- a pet. But, to me, he's so so so much more.
This morning we took Alice back to the pediatrician. She has somehow lost 4oz in the past week. Last week she weighed 7lbs 8oz, today was 7lbs 4oz. This is 1oz below her birth weight!! The Dr. said she -looks- like she's bigger, but is concerned that the scale isn't showing that. So, she wants me to start supplementing her feedings with formula. She wants us to start out giving her 2oz at one of her night-time feedings.
I don't know how I feel about this.
I -have- been having difficulty breast-feeding. I just don't enjoy it. It's exhausting me, and it's been really hard to deal with having her rely on my body for nourishment up to once and hour. Her feedings are so sporadic still... Granted, she's just over 2 weeks old, so no schedual has been even remotely established, but, I'm just soo exhausted. It's not good for me or my moods... Our Dr. recommended last week that we start supplementing and pumping, for my own emotional health and well-being, but I've been hesitant. I know that 'the breast is the best' so I'm trying really hard to deal with it and make it work. Hoping that with time, it will get better.
I -did- finally get the pump though, it kind of scares me though. I'm not sure how to use it, or how often to pump as compared to actually feeding her at the breast. I need to call the lactation consultant and see if they can help me.
I really just need to start getting some decent rest so that I can exert all of my energy on raising Alice, and hopefully remain positive.
This is so much harder than I ever could have imagined.
Jay has also been acting differently lately. I'm not sure if it's 'daddy depression', exhaustion, or something else. He's not very good at articulating to me how he's feeling. So, this is leaving me even more frustrated and feeling even more like I'm doing this on my own. He's getting better at diaper changes though. :P
Alright, that's enough rambling for now. We have to get out of here.
I will try to come back to the library every few days to see what's going on here in internet land.
Jay and I are at the Amherst library and only have a few minutes before we need to be home to give Sarah a ride to the bus.
We woke up the other day to find out that we no longer have Internet or digital cable. The cable I can do without, not having internet is killing me!
What am I supposed to do with my time home alone now???
Stare at the baby?
*laughs*
The baby and I are doing well.
I'm feeling a bit better. My Dr. also increased my Zoloft from 100mgs, to 150mgs. I did, however, get very depressed yesterday and bawled my eyes out.
That could have been situational though.
We are SO DAMN BROKE. Like, I have $10 to my name, Sarah's out of a job now (thanks to the lay-off that happens when working at a college), I'm obviously out of work, and Jay is not making enough to cover all of our expenses, not that he should.
Having our Comcast service shut off is a big wake-up call, and, though we don't have official dates yet, either the cell phones or the electricity is next...
Sooo, we decided yesterday that we have to break our lease. It officially ends August 1st, but we have decided to leave on June 20th. That's just over a month.. eeeek! I HATE moving. Well, the process of it. So, because we have no money, our ONLY option is to move in with my parents in Billerica. *Cries*
I believe I wrote before about many of my reservations regarding moving there. I'm still full of worry and anxiety over it. Especially because of space issues, living with FAMILY, having to deal with the stress between my mom and my sister, and what's going to happen with Dweezil. They REALLY don't want Dweezil to come with us, they feel like it would kill their own cat. Both cats are alpha males... My parents cat has started to spray since they moved a few years ago, and the vet says he's starting to go senile. Awesome.
But, I REFUSE to go anywhere without my kitty. He and I are super duper attached to each other.
*sigh*
I know, he's -just- a pet. But, to me, he's so so so much more.
This morning we took Alice back to the pediatrician. She has somehow lost 4oz in the past week. Last week she weighed 7lbs 8oz, today was 7lbs 4oz. This is 1oz below her birth weight!! The Dr. said she -looks- like she's bigger, but is concerned that the scale isn't showing that. So, she wants me to start supplementing her feedings with formula. She wants us to start out giving her 2oz at one of her night-time feedings.
I don't know how I feel about this.
I -have- been having difficulty breast-feeding. I just don't enjoy it. It's exhausting me, and it's been really hard to deal with having her rely on my body for nourishment up to once and hour. Her feedings are so sporadic still... Granted, she's just over 2 weeks old, so no schedual has been even remotely established, but, I'm just soo exhausted. It's not good for me or my moods... Our Dr. recommended last week that we start supplementing and pumping, for my own emotional health and well-being, but I've been hesitant. I know that 'the breast is the best' so I'm trying really hard to deal with it and make it work. Hoping that with time, it will get better.
I -did- finally get the pump though, it kind of scares me though. I'm not sure how to use it, or how often to pump as compared to actually feeding her at the breast. I need to call the lactation consultant and see if they can help me.
I really just need to start getting some decent rest so that I can exert all of my energy on raising Alice, and hopefully remain positive.
This is so much harder than I ever could have imagined.
Jay has also been acting differently lately. I'm not sure if it's 'daddy depression', exhaustion, or something else. He's not very good at articulating to me how he's feeling. So, this is leaving me even more frustrated and feeling even more like I'm doing this on my own. He's getting better at diaper changes though. :P
Alright, that's enough rambling for now. We have to get out of here.
I will try to come back to the library every few days to see what's going on here in internet land.