Tired of the past

[monkeypudding]

I am tired of the past making all of my decisions. I am tired of the subconcious dark ruling my days. I am tired of the impotence it brings and how it steals my voice and clouds my true nature. I want to love the people I adore wholeheartedly and not have that love be held back by fear. I want to not hurt the people I love by making stupid decisions based on child hood patterns created by trauma. I want to be able to recognize those patterns when they happen, call them out and face them down so I don't cause harm to those I love or myself.
They deserve better and so do I.