I have a bad feeling about this
Dear George Lucas,
I just finished watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I purchased in High Definition Blu-Ray disc format. I am quite a big fan of your movies, and particularly enjoyed the first three movies in the Indiana Jones series. I also very much enjoy the first three of the Star Wars movies, and have forgiven you for grotesque problems with the latter three.
Having seen your latest Indiana Jones movie, I have a few offers that I hope you will accept.
First, I would like to help you locate and participate in classes on the subjects of physics and anatomy. You may not be aware, but several scenes in your movie broke the very laws that our universe is governed by. For example, a vehicle containing several passengers is not a symmetrical, balanced object; when driven over a cliff and into a tree, the vehicle is likely to tip one way or another, thus spilling it's contents. Also, assuming that by some quirk of fate, the car manages to catch perfectly on the trunk of the tree and hold horizontal stability, wood is a brittle material and would likely snap under the weight of the vehicle. Also, physics dictates that air resistance would remove any passengers from a vehicle that would happen to spill over a several-hundred-foot waterfall. They would not be able to hold on for two successive plummets, and would surely die from the fall. But then again, such a fall should never be possible, as the weight of the vehicle would surely pull it to the bottom of any river it might end up in.
Second, I would like to invite you to join me at a library, where there are bound to be dozens upon dozens of stories, legends, and historical information about the Mayan or Incan people and their culture. They were a very interesting and exciting people that were in no way involved with space aliens. Surely a movie could be made that revolved around the quetzalcoatl, or maybe Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas. Those are just two ideas of the top of my head. Please note that neither of them involve space aliens.
Finally, I think you would find it beneficial if you allowed me to check you into a hospital, where you would be checked for brain tumors. It is clear that you have lost the creative vision that made your earlier movies classics. No sane person would destroy the very things that made them loved and respected, and so I can only conclude that uncontrolled cell division in your brain has caused intracranial pressure in your head, making you completely bat-shit insane.
Your loyal fan,
Monkeyhole
I just finished watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I purchased in High Definition Blu-Ray disc format. I am quite a big fan of your movies, and particularly enjoyed the first three movies in the Indiana Jones series. I also very much enjoy the first three of the Star Wars movies, and have forgiven you for grotesque problems with the latter three.
Having seen your latest Indiana Jones movie, I have a few offers that I hope you will accept.
First, I would like to help you locate and participate in classes on the subjects of physics and anatomy. You may not be aware, but several scenes in your movie broke the very laws that our universe is governed by. For example, a vehicle containing several passengers is not a symmetrical, balanced object; when driven over a cliff and into a tree, the vehicle is likely to tip one way or another, thus spilling it's contents. Also, assuming that by some quirk of fate, the car manages to catch perfectly on the trunk of the tree and hold horizontal stability, wood is a brittle material and would likely snap under the weight of the vehicle. Also, physics dictates that air resistance would remove any passengers from a vehicle that would happen to spill over a several-hundred-foot waterfall. They would not be able to hold on for two successive plummets, and would surely die from the fall. But then again, such a fall should never be possible, as the weight of the vehicle would surely pull it to the bottom of any river it might end up in.
Second, I would like to invite you to join me at a library, where there are bound to be dozens upon dozens of stories, legends, and historical information about the Mayan or Incan people and their culture. They were a very interesting and exciting people that were in no way involved with space aliens. Surely a movie could be made that revolved around the quetzalcoatl, or maybe Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas. Those are just two ideas of the top of my head. Please note that neither of them involve space aliens.
Finally, I think you would find it beneficial if you allowed me to check you into a hospital, where you would be checked for brain tumors. It is clear that you have lost the creative vision that made your earlier movies classics. No sane person would destroy the very things that made them loved and respected, and so I can only conclude that uncontrolled cell division in your brain has caused intracranial pressure in your head, making you completely bat-shit insane.
Your loyal fan,
Monkeyhole