about time i make this post possibly sensative or TMI
So it is about time I make this post. On august 2nd i found out i was expecting. I was soooo happy. We have been trying since April and had no luck until now. Then on August 11th Vin and I went out for dinner and a movie and I discovered I was spotting. i freaked out and called my mother in law and she said to calm down and call the Dr in the morning if I wasn't having cramping or bleeding heavy. So I did. The doctor said to take it easy and keep my appointment for the 18th. Ok so bled some more on tuesday but it stopped. Than on wednesday nothing. Thursday ONE time i spotted but oh so light. Then Friday they came to repaint the vault at work and it was sort of making me feel odd (although I was not in the vault or immediate area at the time). So i went home early and noticed that i was spotting a little again but had more mucus than anything and from reading online I thought that mucus was ok. Well again we tried going to dinner and a movie with my b-i-l and his fiance. I noticed more spotting but thought ok well I just need to make it to monday. THEN I went to the potty half way through the previews and had period colored bleeding. This freaked me out and I told Vin we had to leave and go to the ER. Long story short after 6 hours in the hospital all they could tell me were that my levels were at 59, nothing in the womb on the U/S could be picked up and so either I lost it before Friday or I wasn't as far a long as I thought.
I went to my doctor on the 18th to what was supposed to be my first visit for my pregnancy and she said that the uterus was enlarged and the cervix did show sign of miscarraige. But that there was no sign of infection and so that is good. I am going for a repeat blood test just to make sure 100% that we did lose the baby. I feel deep down that we did. Just based on what I have leaked out over the last two weeks I have no idea what it would have clung to. But now I am having slight symptoms again. I think it is just me hoping and wishing though.
It is starting to take its toll on me though. Shelbi at work found out today that she is having a boy. As excited as I am for her it is still depressing to me. There is also this girl that thinks that she is pregnant (unplanned) and I guess I am just jealous. Lets lump that all together with seeing so many freaking babies everywhere and it is really just starting to make me want to break down. I am hoping that by writing it out will make me feel a bit better.
Here is hoping that tomorrow will be a surprise BFP still!