Damaged

[monkeyfunk]

Kerry's exam went OK. Ish. Hard to tell. Called her last night, during which she mentioned Dr.Phil (a regular on the Oprah show who always looks like Geoffrey Tambor from The Larry Sanders Show) and one of his soundbites: "Guilt is a waste of time". Which seems ridiculous to me. He says guilt is not productive, not active. Therefore, we should not

Comments

[ex_motel666812]

*hug*

I think you need to tell her you're thinking about being with men--not that you necessarily want to act on it, but that it's been on your mind. Otherwise it's like keeping a secret, and there's nothing more distancing than to know that you're keeping a secret from the one you love. Don't you think?

*another hug*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxooxoxox

[kitchenwitch]

Yes, what she said.

THE most important part of a relationship is communication. Relationships are also a lot about acceptance - being able to accept someone else how they are, whether you like it or not. With the specific example of bisexuality, I think that it's key that any significant other is totally okay with it (and might even let you act on your desires at times, if everyone's cool with it). If they're not, it will create problems down the road. I find it interesting that she's so scared of your bisexuality when she has her own such desires; you guys should probably explore that.

[monkeyfunk]

I wouldn't say she's scared of it, in an all-encapsulating way. I think knowing that I have that side to my persona, coupled with my seeming distance from her, makes her nervous.

And I think I must have miscommunicated Kerry's desires, but although she is curious in a detached way, the possible liaison between herself and her best friend Carrie was more about being taken with a strap-on through genuine frustration at not getting any penetrative sex.

I can appreciate how it does look, though. We have plenty to discuss in a couple of weeks.

[monkeyfunk]

I will probably disclose it to her in person. When she asked me online, she just took me completely off guard and I just panicked and calmed her down.

You're so right about the distancing.

Thank you :)