because it's monday?
uh, i am so over everything. i can't effing wait to get the hell outta here. the fuck away from these people. suck it you fuckers, i'm out.
eh.
that didn't work, but i tried. i am not heartless, i am not mean, i am lonely. i am sad, i need my meds. fuck fuck fuck.
the weekend was purdy nice... went to mel's sat night, we drank lotsa alchi~haul at her house... 3 pineapple and rum's... 3 coronas... went to the room and had 3 (?) more... met up with pep and gave her the fliers i had made. she was so excited, it was cute, can't wait to see her show on friday. we we're all kinda handing them out since she's so shy... it get's easier, i told her, the more you do it... like a whatever kinda thing... "hey i'm playing friday you should come see me"... and here's me "hey, you should come see my friend's show. she's awesome..." and when they ask what kinda of music she plays i have to wing it and make up some seriously wicked BS to make them go, "ohhhhh alright, sounds like a good time." i thought i did pretty well... : )
gave a flier to this chick who was standing up against the wall near us... she was cool, had a sooper hott friend who was so unsure, so shy, so insecure... it was sad... i couldn't believe it, she was like wild sexy, and so nice. hahaha... the shirt worked for me mel, and i know it worked for you! hahahaha... later, we were outside smoking and they came out and asked if we wanted to smoke a joint with them around the corner... so we walked out of passerby's way and joked about life and who we were and where we came from. effin' mexicans! ohhhh mel! friday! woot. woot.
so today is monday... talked shortly with * this weekend. i am at a loss for words as far as the subject goes. i called last night, she was already in bed, weird - but she's been tired lately... had a loooong talk with sis about love and * and my sis her ex. it's nice to know that we are so much closer than ever before... i missed her when she was with that a-hole, i really did. now with * i am confused, i am loving, i am in pain. her ex telling her she is in love with her, the distance, the fucking craziness in my heart. i wrote her a long ass letter, sending it today... it explains a lot... maybe i should have made a copy so i can remember... lol... sometimes i want to turn and run, afraid to fall only to be kicked away... sometimes i want to cling, knowing that's just a fucking addiction. shit. so i came to the conclusion to just be. let go of the idea of love and be a friend. not knowing what the future holds, not putting others off, not looking either. i will not miss out on something that could be real, if only until i move for something i really know nothing of. the letter explains more * and if you wanna remove me as to not get hurt in the future do this:
go up to "manage - friends" and you'll have the option somewhere in there to remove me...
with that said life is dandy... i have so much to look forward to, so much to gain. i am in pain, pure piercing pain, and it's ok. i'll survive.
a man just came in asked LA how her weekend was... she said she went to a party that she really didn't want to attend. and ya know what his reply was? ... "you probably made someone really happy by attending"... which leads me back to one of my life songs... "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT..." sometimes, we get what we need ::smile:: and sometimes we affect others without even realizing... making someone's day with a smile, greeting a passerby with a hello or attending a party we really don't want to be at...
::sigh:: i will not cry, no siree... there are too many things to be thankful for... OH MEL! i think i did it... low and behold, the power of jenn... hey shay! i tried with what's her face, but i did a little better this time... no holding back, have FUN til you leave... ya never know what the furture holds... and congrats to you miss mandy... proud of you for getting a taste of the light... i wish you lick, i mean luck, whoa... HAHAHAHA>.. <3<3<3
i love you guys... only a little under 2 months til i give my notice. i'm scared, and i already miss jenn... i will not cry. i will not cry.
eh.
that didn't work, but i tried. i am not heartless, i am not mean, i am lonely. i am sad, i need my meds. fuck fuck fuck.
the weekend was purdy nice... went to mel's sat night, we drank lotsa alchi~haul at her house... 3 pineapple and rum's... 3 coronas... went to the room and had 3 (?) more... met up with pep and gave her the fliers i had made. she was so excited, it was cute, can't wait to see her show on friday. we we're all kinda handing them out since she's so shy... it get's easier, i told her, the more you do it... like a whatever kinda thing... "hey i'm playing friday you should come see me"... and here's me "hey, you should come see my friend's show. she's awesome..." and when they ask what kinda of music she plays i have to wing it and make up some seriously wicked BS to make them go, "ohhhhh alright, sounds like a good time." i thought i did pretty well... : )
gave a flier to this chick who was standing up against the wall near us... she was cool, had a sooper hott friend who was so unsure, so shy, so insecure... it was sad... i couldn't believe it, she was like wild sexy, and so nice. hahaha... the shirt worked for me mel, and i know it worked for you! hahahaha... later, we were outside smoking and they came out and asked if we wanted to smoke a joint with them around the corner... so we walked out of passerby's way and joked about life and who we were and where we came from. effin' mexicans! ohhhh mel! friday! woot. woot.
so today is monday... talked shortly with * this weekend. i am at a loss for words as far as the subject goes. i called last night, she was already in bed, weird - but she's been tired lately... had a loooong talk with sis about love and * and my sis her ex. it's nice to know that we are so much closer than ever before... i missed her when she was with that a-hole, i really did. now with * i am confused, i am loving, i am in pain. her ex telling her she is in love with her, the distance, the fucking craziness in my heart. i wrote her a long ass letter, sending it today... it explains a lot... maybe i should have made a copy so i can remember... lol... sometimes i want to turn and run, afraid to fall only to be kicked away... sometimes i want to cling, knowing that's just a fucking addiction. shit. so i came to the conclusion to just be. let go of the idea of love and be a friend. not knowing what the future holds, not putting others off, not looking either. i will not miss out on something that could be real, if only until i move for something i really know nothing of. the letter explains more * and if you wanna remove me as to not get hurt in the future do this:
go up to "manage - friends" and you'll have the option somewhere in there to remove me...
with that said life is dandy... i have so much to look forward to, so much to gain. i am in pain, pure piercing pain, and it's ok. i'll survive.
a man just came in asked LA how her weekend was... she said she went to a party that she really didn't want to attend. and ya know what his reply was? ... "you probably made someone really happy by attending"... which leads me back to one of my life songs... "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT..." sometimes, we get what we need ::smile:: and sometimes we affect others without even realizing... making someone's day with a smile, greeting a passerby with a hello or attending a party we really don't want to be at...
::sigh:: i will not cry, no siree... there are too many things to be thankful for... OH MEL! i think i did it... low and behold, the power of jenn... hey shay! i tried with what's her face, but i did a little better this time... no holding back, have FUN til you leave... ya never know what the furture holds... and congrats to you miss mandy... proud of you for getting a taste of the light... i wish you lick, i mean luck, whoa... HAHAHAHA>.. <3<3<3
i love you guys... only a little under 2 months til i give my notice. i'm scared, and i already miss jenn... i will not cry. i will not cry.