I blame it on the cheese sandwich.
I had a really peculiar dream the night before last. I climbed Everest. Nice little daunder, really, just a pleasant little stroll, and the view from the top was quite nice. Although I'm not sure where all that jungle came from.
Anyway, when we reached the top, we found a stage had been set up in order for us to perform a concert to the huddled masses below. So we did. Only... I was rapping.
I'm sorry to say that not even in one of my wilder dreams was I any good whatsoever at the old hip hop. Oh no. Think - balding, middle-age, fat white politician. That's how bad it was. Even I was embarrassed.
Then there was a bit that don't remember too well, during which we made the descent. Possibly on the back of a camel. I'm not quite sure about that.
When we got to the bottom, I distinctly remember telling someone how much easier it was on the way down - you had to cart all your oxygen and equipment all the way up with you, but when you got there, you could just dump it all and the sherpas would bring it down in the lift. Not a ski lift, by the way, a proper lift with closing doors. And a bellhop.
The next thing you know, I've won a competition to be one of the dancers on Robbie William's next tour. Only, I wasn't very good, and I couldn't do the backflips, and as a result I ended up flying backwards into a person-sized pint of Guinness, and I couldn't get out of it. The last thing I remember before I woke up was Mr. Williams desperately trying to break the glass with a fire axe.
I'm never eating cheese again.
_
Anyway, when we reached the top, we found a stage had been set up in order for us to perform a concert to the huddled masses below. So we did. Only... I was rapping.
I'm sorry to say that not even in one of my wilder dreams was I any good whatsoever at the old hip hop. Oh no. Think - balding, middle-age, fat white politician. That's how bad it was. Even I was embarrassed.
Then there was a bit that don't remember too well, during which we made the descent. Possibly on the back of a camel. I'm not quite sure about that.
When we got to the bottom, I distinctly remember telling someone how much easier it was on the way down - you had to cart all your oxygen and equipment all the way up with you, but when you got there, you could just dump it all and the sherpas would bring it down in the lift. Not a ski lift, by the way, a proper lift with closing doors. And a bellhop.
The next thing you know, I've won a competition to be one of the dancers on Robbie William's next tour. Only, I wasn't very good, and I couldn't do the backflips, and as a result I ended up flying backwards into a person-sized pint of Guinness, and I couldn't get out of it. The last thing I remember before I woke up was Mr. Williams desperately trying to break the glass with a fire axe.
I'm never eating cheese again.
_