LEGEND OF MAYFIELD III: The Catastrophic Cannibal Contention!

[monk_of_keyfu]

[BACKDATED TO NOVEMBER 27 (Second Day of "Peace, Harmony, Tranquility and Union" Event)]

[Mayfield's malicious masters just can't let one holiday go by without ruining it. And yet, waking up on the 26th to find the bodies of the drones in the family all roasted and smothered in gravy wasn't all that strange an occurence for Key-Fu. For the first

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[stoppedhiding]

[ That's cool, Golbez can use all the help in the world. One dude, fighting a pack of cannibals with nothing more than a rusty, broken flagpole? Yeah, things could be better. ]

[monk_of_keyfu]

Harken!

[Check it out, there's a flying cannibal spewing angrish as he flies right into one of the other cannibals going after Golbez. MORE TO THE MOSH PIT!]

[And standing on top of a ruined, tipped-over car is Key-Fu, fists on hips, eyes cross and grinning.]

Let us bowl for the soup of savages!

[stoppedhiding]

[ Well, that's... special. He only has the chance to stare for a moment before he has to focus on his surroundings again and resume the thwacking and stabbing. ]

If that means... [ stab ] ...what I assume it does, then yes. Let's.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu leaps into the fray! Not that he has to charge far, there's already a screeching cannibal charging at him, swinging with his hatchet-or there was. Key-Fu might not have his superhuman dexterity, but one doesn't need that to perform blocking and disarming moves in martial arts!

[He knocks the hatchet-wielding arm out of the way with a swift deflecting blow, then follows it up by delivering a roundhouse kick to the cannibal's head, sending the beastly man stumbling back toward Golbez and his flag-staff.]

My good man, I invite you to knock this conniving cadaver out of the park!

[stoppedhiding]

[ The metaphor is completely lost on him, so he doesn't knock the cannibal "out of the park" so much as he breaks its neck with a whack, knocking its now-limp body aside, then stabbing right through another's chest. Fortunately, they aren't too difficult -- just numerous -- and in a close-range fight like this it's actually easier to avoid their bullets.

Despite the monk's... odd appearance and manner of speaking, he seems to be handling himself well enough, which is good. Golbez won't need to split his attention.

Sorry, Key-Fu, guess who has two thumbs and is not big on mid-battle banter? If you guessed "this guy" you would be right. ]

[monk_of_keyfu]

Most splendid!

[That's okay! Key-Fu's used to talking enough for two people! Though right now it's mostly directed at the cannibals mobbing him. What with two unarmed cannibals jumping him in an attempt to bit into his flesh, and a third with a hatchet coming in from behind.]

I feel these feasting fiends shall benefit from a diet of justice!

[He proceeds to poke one of the cannibals in both of the eys with a jab, before shoving him aside, right into the hatchet that was going to get Key-Fu in the neck. Instead, it gets the poked cannibal in the face. Key-Fu follows that up with by throwing the second unarmed cannibal right on top of the hatchet-armed one.]

[And he's never stopped grinning this entire time.]