(no subject)
im in Mr. Immermans class and im like crying...so i really need to update. im a bad friend. i fuck up. i throw myself into these things like no tomorrow. i think there is seriously something wrong with me. i think i look for drama. i like pratically FEED off it. if theres no drama somehow i seem to make it. i somehow seem to make my friends mad at me. i somehow ruin friendships. i get into things and do this and that. i dont like him. okay? i never really did..i dont care if you dont believe me anymore. you might think im lying..well, think what you want because i know how i truely feel. you might be mad because i lied, well i lied because i didnt want something like this to happen. i thought maybe if i just dont say anything it'll just go away...no one will know. well, everything BLEW UP in my face. im sorry. i dont know how many times i need to say it. if i have to say it 4324 million billion trillion jillion zillion i will. you're my BEST FRIEND, you come to my house all the time, my mom fucking loves you and my brother too, i can talk to you about anything and you understand. but, i dont know what was so diff. this time. maybe because it was because of a boy. but, all i know is that i dont want our friendship to change because of this. but it will probably anyway. but im just sorry. im sorry if i ruined anything between you two, and im sorry if i ruin yours and his friendship, and im sorry to you if i made you feel pressured or bad or something.. idk. i just dont want to look at anyone right now because i will break down in tears..
i just wanted to tell you three im sorry...all of this is my fault, cause i am an idiot, a loser, and most of all a bad friend.