Giving up.
Well, I managed to convince my Grandma to come and pick me up, so I am at her house for a few hours. It's better than my apartment. There's nothing to do there except lay around and clean. I wanted to come up here and get online, but I should have known not to get my hopes up. I am completely giving up on Matt. I wrote him a long ass myspace letter, confessing everything to him. What did he write back? NOTHING. He just read it, and wouldn't even send a response. Any kind of reply would be better than none, at least then I would know how he feels. But not getting a response truly lets me know where he stands in this, so I am just letting go. I'm going to give up all hope I had. Damn, I really knew it was way too good to be true. That's the first time I've really fallen for a guy, since High school. There's nothing else to do about it. I am going to move on. Not with another guy, but with my life. If he talks to me, then yeah we'll be friends, but nothing more. I know that now! I really could have fallen for Matt, but it doesn't matter now. I am not being pathetic or whatever. I am just being honest. I'll be alright. I know I will.
What to do about Bobby? Fuck him, maybe not in the literally sense, but just go on with out him. He likes me, but I don't have that same connection with him. It wasn't because of Matt, just because there was nothing there except a physical attraction. I can't open up to him the way I could with Matt, but perhaps that's because he doesn't listen to what I have to say. It's like talking to a fucking brick wall with him. UGGH. It's so fucking annoying and lame. If he likes me he should listen to what I have to say, but no everything is sex with him. Eventhough he tells me it's not, I know it is. He's not a very good liar. I went to the movies with him and it fucking sucked! All though I thought about Matt constantly, but if he would be the slightest interested in me then maybe I wouldn't be thinking of someone else while I am with him! I don't want to be with Bobby, and now I don't want to be with Matt either. They're both dickheads in their own way, and I am not going to tolerate their shit anymore!
XOXO
MONICA *NICOLE
What to do about Bobby? Fuck him, maybe not in the literally sense, but just go on with out him. He likes me, but I don't have that same connection with him. It wasn't because of Matt, just because there was nothing there except a physical attraction. I can't open up to him the way I could with Matt, but perhaps that's because he doesn't listen to what I have to say. It's like talking to a fucking brick wall with him. UGGH. It's so fucking annoying and lame. If he likes me he should listen to what I have to say, but no everything is sex with him. Eventhough he tells me it's not, I know it is. He's not a very good liar. I went to the movies with him and it fucking sucked! All though I thought about Matt constantly, but if he would be the slightest interested in me then maybe I wouldn't be thinking of someone else while I am with him! I don't want to be with Bobby, and now I don't want to be with Matt either. They're both dickheads in their own way, and I am not going to tolerate their shit anymore!
XOXO
MONICA *NICOLE