Feeling Better Now
Okay, so at first I was super pissed that my foul-mouthed captive's little B-Team (because they SO aren't cool enough to be the A-Team!) had to show up and ruin the relaxing time I was having waiting for a ransom and hanging out with Greed. I mean, come on, you dicks so didn't need to go fucking Rambo on the henchmen. I'm going to get woken up by them having nightmares for like weeks now.
But anyways, so despite my brilliant battle maneuvering and some "help" from Greed (I'm, uh, not exactly sure if he was like, battling or just screwing around), I decided to make a tactical retreat so they'd get out of my fucking Cocoon.
Only guess what happens when my escape pod lands? Yeah, I get fucking abducted by the Guild's creepy goggle-guys! Next thing I know I'm with my wife and we're fighting off the Guild's deathbots or slaughterbots, or whatever the hell they're calling them now, and then I'm sitting in some Star Chamber mockery being questioned about Phantom Dickwad. Which I'm like, cool, whatever, because I hate the guy, right? But then they start getting weird with magic video crap and questions about regulations, and complaints against me, yadda yadda, and so to make a super moronic story less retardedly long, they somehow decided that I had broken their precious Guild code way back when like, no one fucking cared, and the dicks are going to dip me in lava for it!
But what they didn't realize was that The Monarch is brilliant at a defense! So, after some adroit maneuvering on my part, they realize how totally wrong they were and let me and honeybear go! Oh, and Dr. Mrs. Monarch helped some, too. So then we've got a snake wrapped around our hands and The Sovereign (David Bowie!) is officially declaring us Partners in Villainy! I mean it's like, in the records and crap now! Oh, and that's not even the best part!
We're living in the former fucking Lair of the Phantom! I had what was left of my minions rush and claim the place, and got to carry my bride across the threshold of our new ground base! And the place is fucking massive, all right. It's got a mini-bar and everything! Needless to say, our new abode was repeatedly consummated on that purple-suited prick's bed. HA! God I hope he finds out and goes totally psycho-bonkers over it in agony.
I'm so throwing a house-warming party at some point!
But anyways, so despite my brilliant battle maneuvering and some "help" from Greed (I'm, uh, not exactly sure if he was like, battling or just screwing around), I decided to make a tactical retreat so they'd get out of my fucking Cocoon.
Only guess what happens when my escape pod lands? Yeah, I get fucking abducted by the Guild's creepy goggle-guys! Next thing I know I'm with my wife and we're fighting off the Guild's deathbots or slaughterbots, or whatever the hell they're calling them now, and then I'm sitting in some Star Chamber mockery being questioned about Phantom Dickwad. Which I'm like, cool, whatever, because I hate the guy, right? But then they start getting weird with magic video crap and questions about regulations, and complaints against me, yadda yadda, and so to make a super moronic story less retardedly long, they somehow decided that I had broken their precious Guild code way back when like, no one fucking cared, and the dicks are going to dip me in lava for it!
But what they didn't realize was that The Monarch is brilliant at a defense! So, after some adroit maneuvering on my part, they realize how totally wrong they were and let me and honeybear go! Oh, and Dr. Mrs. Monarch helped some, too. So then we've got a snake wrapped around our hands and The Sovereign (David Bowie!) is officially declaring us Partners in Villainy! I mean it's like, in the records and crap now! Oh, and that's not even the best part!
We're living in the former fucking Lair of the Phantom! I had what was left of my minions rush and claim the place, and got to carry my bride across the threshold of our new ground base! And the place is fucking massive, all right. It's got a mini-bar and everything! Needless to say, our new abode was repeatedly consummated on that purple-suited prick's bed. HA! God I hope he finds out and goes totally psycho-bonkers over it in agony.
I'm so throwing a house-warming party at some point!