Because I know I'll be looking for all of them to wonder just exactly what we'd been smoking, here's what Ben left for his friends, relatives, and people he mistakenly misdialed (with the rest of his idiot friends linked into the comments):
To
Ender: HI. I THINK I JUST PULLED MY GROIN BUT THE DISMOUNT WAS ASTRAL OKAY.
To
Jaina: WORMS TASTE LIKE BACON
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