I Don't Know Anymore

[momsgothgrl]

I dont know what to do.........will we be together always....people ask me whats going on? why are doing this ...... what is in it for you....what are we doing.....whats our goal....do we have one...what do I want from you.....do u care as I do... there are so many questions. I was redaing comments today and it made me realize that I'm in love right now and shouldnt that be enough........but then there's hurt right, that's not good for me I'm told, and I know it but I want love so bad, I need it to stay alive. I just dont know what to do.....talking so good ....writing is good....being with friends is good... but I want to be held and kissed and loved. I am the biggest hopeless romantic you will ever find. i loved the movie Moulin Rouge because of the amazing love they have it, they really love each other equally and you can see it in their eyes, I want that SO BADLY!!!!!! I crave it. Lara and Mj say i should do something, I know I should, but what, I dont know what to do anymore, I'm stuck. So i wrote a letter but it got me no where except things off my chest, but it wasn't good enough. My stomach hurts from thing about things, and from hurting. I dont wanna talk about it right now, i cant anymore, any time i think about something that has happened even happy memory I feel like someone is punching me in the stomach. It hurts a lot, and it wont stop because everyone talks about it, it comes and finds me everywhere I go, I can't escape it. I guess that means I have to face it , but I'm scared, really scared. what if I do something wrong or it doesn't coem out the right way. What if I hurt someone back? I couldn't for that. But I feel like there is no way it can be avoided , someones going to get hurt.

Nighty, night(to those who will be sleeping, I for one will be not)
Shana D;*
Thank you Lara&Mj-I Love you guys