Monster (chapter 6/?)
Title: Monster
Author: Me ^.^
Pairing: Masuda/Tegoshi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: They were practically coming from two different worlds, one of them wealthy and happy, the other one scarred and full of hate. Despite that fact, they would still meet, breaking the rules and moral of the society with their relationship.
Notes: English is not my native language, I’m doing my best to not make mistakes ^.^
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
*~*~*~*~*~*
Rain. Tegoshi had never liked rain; it just made his already quite depressing life even worse. It was almost laughable that it started when he was on his way home, broken-hearted and with tears falling down his cheeks. It reminded him of these sappy movies he hated, those when the princess always got her prince in shining armour no matter what they had to go through. It was a shame that reality was far from that simple. There was no one there that would run after him and hold him, no one that loved him enough to do that. Not that anyone knew that he felt like this in the first place. Masuda would hold him if he knew about it, but he didn’t. And Tegoshi didn’t have any intention of telling him either. Maybe it was best if they stopped seeing each other, like Masuda’s friend had said. Not that anything had happened yet, but Masuda would be an easy target for guys like Okamoto and not to speak of Tegoshi’s father if they wanted to hurt Tegoshi. To be honest, he was scared that something like that would happen, and if Masuda would get hurt it would be Tegoshi’s fault. He didn’t want to see a person he loved get hurt because of him. His eyes filled with tears just from the thought, and he kicked a bicycle that stood leaned against a wall to the ground, gaining surprised yelps from some nearby girls.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Tegoshi turned around, seeing a guy standing a bit away form him. Tegoshi just stared at him, eyes cold.
“What the fuck are you doing to my bicycle?”
Tegoshi lost it all then, pushing the guy towards the wall, kneeing him hard in the stomach, making him grasp for air. A part of Tegoshi’s mind told him how wrong this was, taking out his frustration on an innocent person that hadn’t done anything wrong. But it was too late to stop now, and this was the thing he became when being all alone and miserable, on the edge to losing the one thing that meant something for him. He became a monster, one that didn’t care about other people and least of all about himself. A stray tear made it’s way down Tegoshi’s cheek as he raised his fist, feeling the slight pain in it when it his the guy’s face. He was nothing else than a monster right now, lonely, not even caring about himself.
****
Masuda was in a quite good mood despite the rainy weather. He had just finished his swimming-practice after school, and his results had been pretty good during today’s training. It was satisfying, and he couldn’t wait to tell Tegoshi about it. He wondered why, because the boy always seemed to not care, just nodding shortly sometimes, but still always listening. He had loosened up during the previous weeks though, looking happier when Masuda visited than he had ever seen the boy been before. There had been times when Masuda thought that there wasn’t a point in spending time with the him, times when Tegoshi just stared blankly in front of him and had that ‘I-don’t-care-what-happens-to-me’-attitude. But somehow Masuda just couldn’t leave him alone, not when he knew how much pain Tegoshi was feeling, even though he tried to hide it. Masuda seemed to be the only one who understood that Tegoshi was in a lot of pain, everyone else seemed to just believe that he was a monster. The Tegoshi Masuda knew wasn’t a monster; he was just lonely and mislead. Maybe that was the reason to why Masuda felt the great urge to be there for him, he just couldn’t leave him alone when he knew the truth. And to be honest, in some way, Masuda had grown fond of Tegoshi. He didn’t want him to be sad, he wanted him to smile and be happy from the bottom of his heart. Masuda knew that Tegoshi needed him, he could see it on the boy when he tried to hide his disappointment when Masuda had to go home and when Tegoshi was all alone in school. It was their unspoken rule to not talk to each other in others presence, but Masuda could see how hurt Tegoshi was feeling when seeing how Masuda smiled with his friends. He felt bad about it, but it had to be like that.
Masuda saw Shige waiting for him when he walked out of the swimming-hall, and waved happily. Shige waved back, but didn’t answer the smile. “Massu, I need to talk to you.”
Masuda tilted his head to the side. “About what? Have something happened?”
Shige shrugged and avoided Masuda’s gaze. “You know…I talked to Tegoshi before.”
Masuda looked at him. “Why?”
Shige stared at the ground, looking like he had bad conscience over something. “I told him to stop seeing you.”
Masuda stared at Shige. “What?”
Shige turned around, meeting Masuda’s gaze. “Massu, he’s dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt because of that guy…”
“He would never hurt me.”
Shige sighed. “He’s dangerous. Massu, he’s a monster, there’s…”
Masuda grabbed Shige’s collar, raising his voice. “Don’t call him a monster! You don’t know him, so don’t judge him only by rumours that are not even true!”
Shige looked quite shocked, eyes wide, staring at Masuda. Masuda let go of Shige and looked at him with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry…But really, you shouldn’t judge him. He’s no monster; he’s just lonely and miserable.”
“I’m scared that something will happen to you.”
Masuda squeezed Shige’s shoulder. “I don’t want him to be alone.”
Shige gazed at Masuda. “Sorry to ask, but…why?”
Masuda smiled slightly. “I just can’t leave him alone. Not when he’s saved me from some bad guys that tried to rob me and broke down in front of me. I’ve seen a different side of him, one that he hasn’t shown to anyone else.”
Shige nodded slightly. “You can do as you please of course, but as your friend I would want you to keep away from him.”
“I can’t do that. He needs me.”
Shige sighed. “It’s up to you now. But I have warned you.”
Masuda nodded slightly before starting to walk away.
“Where are you doing?”
Masuda turned around and met Shige’s gaze. “I need to be with him now.”
He could see how Shige’s expression turned quite displeased, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He wouldn’t leave Tegoshi, that was for sure. What everyone around him thought didn’t matter, because Tegoshi needed him. The boy was probably feeling unwanted and lonelier than ever if Shige had asked him to stop seeing Masuda. He needed comfort now, and Masuda was going to be there for him. No matter what, he wouldn’t leave Tegoshi’s side. Therefore he ran towards him now, without an umbrella, not caring that he got soaked by the rain.
****
It was times like this that Tegoshi didn’t even tried to deny that he was a monster, times when he had beat the crap out of an innocent guy just because he needed to take his frustration and sadness out on something. He was such an inhuman creature that hurt other people just because of his own selfish reasons. It wasn’t strange that no one loved him when he was like this. It would be for the best if he broke ties with Masuda as well, sooner or later it wouldn’t work between them anyway, because of him. Tegoshi shivered, from the cold rain that had totally soaked him, and from the thought lingering in his head. Miracles didn’t exist in this world, or at least he would never be chosen by one of them. There was no hope; all he could do was to once again empty himself from emotions, just forget that he had them. That way he would survive, not like now, he would never be able to go on with his lonely life if he was this broken-hearted. Tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes when he walked up the stairs to his apartment. Someone was sitting beside his door, a familiar figure. Tegoshi’s heart ached when he realized who it was. “Takahisa…what are you doing here?”
Masuda looked up, damp hair hanging down in his face. “Yuya…” He rose up, moving towards Tegoshi quickly, and before Tegoshi processed what happened he felt Masuda embrace him warmly. “I was so scared that something had happened to you…You just wouldn’t come home, and you didn’t answer your cell phone either…”
Tegoshi bit his lip. Masuda had been worried about him; he had been waiting for him here while he had just been fooling around. Tegoshi wanted to cry, because he was such an idiot, because he didn’t deserve Masuda at all. He broke free from Masuda’s embrace; even though it took all the willpower he had to do so. There was no way he could meet Masuda’s gaze when feeling like this, he would cry for sure then, so he just stared at the ground. “Taka…Maybe…maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore…” It was said, now he couldn’t return. Tegoshi felt really surprised when Masuda embraced him once again, held him tighter than he ever had before. “Taka…?”
“I knew you would say that.” Masuda caressed Tegoshi’s back slowly, moving his hands up and down.
“Shige wanted you to stop seeing me, right?” Tegoshi nodded. “He told me about it.”
Masuda loosened his grip around Tegoshi and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t care about what he says. I don’t want you to leave me, and most important; I won’t ever leave you.”
Tegoshi felt how his eyes once again filled up with tears. “But…he’s right. What he said, it’s all true. I’m dangerous for you, what if something would happen to you? I wouldn’t ever be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of me…”
With these words, the tears made their way down Tegoshi’s cheeks, and he sobbed softly. When he looked up, Masuda was smiling. “Yuya, you make it sound like I’m ten years old and totally unable to defend myself. What do you think I have these muscles for?”
“But still…”
“It doesn’t matter what may happen to me, you’re worth the risk.”
Tegoshi just stared at Masuda, eyes wide. “No, Taka, what if you…”
He wasn’t able to finish the sentence, Masuda’s soft, warm lips pressing against his own. In one second everything vanished as he melted in Masuda’s embrace, deepening the kiss, getting lost in the moment, forgetting everything but the person he loved more than anything else.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Finally they’ve kissed! It took them long enough already XD
And it’s my second time ranting about this today…But I didn’t get an A on my big English-test…I’m disappointed in myself, because I really believed that I had improved. Aw well, I just have to keep on fighting, I can’t do anything about it now anyway.
Thanks for reading ^.^<3
Author: Me ^.^
Pairing: Masuda/Tegoshi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: They were practically coming from two different worlds, one of them wealthy and happy, the other one scarred and full of hate. Despite that fact, they would still meet, breaking the rules and moral of the society with their relationship.
Notes: English is not my native language, I’m doing my best to not make mistakes ^.^
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
*~*~*~*~*~*
Rain. Tegoshi had never liked rain; it just made his already quite depressing life even worse. It was almost laughable that it started when he was on his way home, broken-hearted and with tears falling down his cheeks. It reminded him of these sappy movies he hated, those when the princess always got her prince in shining armour no matter what they had to go through. It was a shame that reality was far from that simple. There was no one there that would run after him and hold him, no one that loved him enough to do that. Not that anyone knew that he felt like this in the first place. Masuda would hold him if he knew about it, but he didn’t. And Tegoshi didn’t have any intention of telling him either. Maybe it was best if they stopped seeing each other, like Masuda’s friend had said. Not that anything had happened yet, but Masuda would be an easy target for guys like Okamoto and not to speak of Tegoshi’s father if they wanted to hurt Tegoshi. To be honest, he was scared that something like that would happen, and if Masuda would get hurt it would be Tegoshi’s fault. He didn’t want to see a person he loved get hurt because of him. His eyes filled with tears just from the thought, and he kicked a bicycle that stood leaned against a wall to the ground, gaining surprised yelps from some nearby girls.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Tegoshi turned around, seeing a guy standing a bit away form him. Tegoshi just stared at him, eyes cold.
“What the fuck are you doing to my bicycle?”
Tegoshi lost it all then, pushing the guy towards the wall, kneeing him hard in the stomach, making him grasp for air. A part of Tegoshi’s mind told him how wrong this was, taking out his frustration on an innocent person that hadn’t done anything wrong. But it was too late to stop now, and this was the thing he became when being all alone and miserable, on the edge to losing the one thing that meant something for him. He became a monster, one that didn’t care about other people and least of all about himself. A stray tear made it’s way down Tegoshi’s cheek as he raised his fist, feeling the slight pain in it when it his the guy’s face. He was nothing else than a monster right now, lonely, not even caring about himself.
****
Masuda was in a quite good mood despite the rainy weather. He had just finished his swimming-practice after school, and his results had been pretty good during today’s training. It was satisfying, and he couldn’t wait to tell Tegoshi about it. He wondered why, because the boy always seemed to not care, just nodding shortly sometimes, but still always listening. He had loosened up during the previous weeks though, looking happier when Masuda visited than he had ever seen the boy been before. There had been times when Masuda thought that there wasn’t a point in spending time with the him, times when Tegoshi just stared blankly in front of him and had that ‘I-don’t-care-what-happens-to-me’-attitude. But somehow Masuda just couldn’t leave him alone, not when he knew how much pain Tegoshi was feeling, even though he tried to hide it. Masuda seemed to be the only one who understood that Tegoshi was in a lot of pain, everyone else seemed to just believe that he was a monster. The Tegoshi Masuda knew wasn’t a monster; he was just lonely and mislead. Maybe that was the reason to why Masuda felt the great urge to be there for him, he just couldn’t leave him alone when he knew the truth. And to be honest, in some way, Masuda had grown fond of Tegoshi. He didn’t want him to be sad, he wanted him to smile and be happy from the bottom of his heart. Masuda knew that Tegoshi needed him, he could see it on the boy when he tried to hide his disappointment when Masuda had to go home and when Tegoshi was all alone in school. It was their unspoken rule to not talk to each other in others presence, but Masuda could see how hurt Tegoshi was feeling when seeing how Masuda smiled with his friends. He felt bad about it, but it had to be like that.
Masuda saw Shige waiting for him when he walked out of the swimming-hall, and waved happily. Shige waved back, but didn’t answer the smile. “Massu, I need to talk to you.”
Masuda tilted his head to the side. “About what? Have something happened?”
Shige shrugged and avoided Masuda’s gaze. “You know…I talked to Tegoshi before.”
Masuda looked at him. “Why?”
Shige stared at the ground, looking like he had bad conscience over something. “I told him to stop seeing you.”
Masuda stared at Shige. “What?”
Shige turned around, meeting Masuda’s gaze. “Massu, he’s dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt because of that guy…”
“He would never hurt me.”
Shige sighed. “He’s dangerous. Massu, he’s a monster, there’s…”
Masuda grabbed Shige’s collar, raising his voice. “Don’t call him a monster! You don’t know him, so don’t judge him only by rumours that are not even true!”
Shige looked quite shocked, eyes wide, staring at Masuda. Masuda let go of Shige and looked at him with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry…But really, you shouldn’t judge him. He’s no monster; he’s just lonely and miserable.”
“I’m scared that something will happen to you.”
Masuda squeezed Shige’s shoulder. “I don’t want him to be alone.”
Shige gazed at Masuda. “Sorry to ask, but…why?”
Masuda smiled slightly. “I just can’t leave him alone. Not when he’s saved me from some bad guys that tried to rob me and broke down in front of me. I’ve seen a different side of him, one that he hasn’t shown to anyone else.”
Shige nodded slightly. “You can do as you please of course, but as your friend I would want you to keep away from him.”
“I can’t do that. He needs me.”
Shige sighed. “It’s up to you now. But I have warned you.”
Masuda nodded slightly before starting to walk away.
“Where are you doing?”
Masuda turned around and met Shige’s gaze. “I need to be with him now.”
He could see how Shige’s expression turned quite displeased, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He wouldn’t leave Tegoshi, that was for sure. What everyone around him thought didn’t matter, because Tegoshi needed him. The boy was probably feeling unwanted and lonelier than ever if Shige had asked him to stop seeing Masuda. He needed comfort now, and Masuda was going to be there for him. No matter what, he wouldn’t leave Tegoshi’s side. Therefore he ran towards him now, without an umbrella, not caring that he got soaked by the rain.
****
It was times like this that Tegoshi didn’t even tried to deny that he was a monster, times when he had beat the crap out of an innocent guy just because he needed to take his frustration and sadness out on something. He was such an inhuman creature that hurt other people just because of his own selfish reasons. It wasn’t strange that no one loved him when he was like this. It would be for the best if he broke ties with Masuda as well, sooner or later it wouldn’t work between them anyway, because of him. Tegoshi shivered, from the cold rain that had totally soaked him, and from the thought lingering in his head. Miracles didn’t exist in this world, or at least he would never be chosen by one of them. There was no hope; all he could do was to once again empty himself from emotions, just forget that he had them. That way he would survive, not like now, he would never be able to go on with his lonely life if he was this broken-hearted. Tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes when he walked up the stairs to his apartment. Someone was sitting beside his door, a familiar figure. Tegoshi’s heart ached when he realized who it was. “Takahisa…what are you doing here?”
Masuda looked up, damp hair hanging down in his face. “Yuya…” He rose up, moving towards Tegoshi quickly, and before Tegoshi processed what happened he felt Masuda embrace him warmly. “I was so scared that something had happened to you…You just wouldn’t come home, and you didn’t answer your cell phone either…”
Tegoshi bit his lip. Masuda had been worried about him; he had been waiting for him here while he had just been fooling around. Tegoshi wanted to cry, because he was such an idiot, because he didn’t deserve Masuda at all. He broke free from Masuda’s embrace; even though it took all the willpower he had to do so. There was no way he could meet Masuda’s gaze when feeling like this, he would cry for sure then, so he just stared at the ground. “Taka…Maybe…maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore…” It was said, now he couldn’t return. Tegoshi felt really surprised when Masuda embraced him once again, held him tighter than he ever had before. “Taka…?”
“I knew you would say that.” Masuda caressed Tegoshi’s back slowly, moving his hands up and down.
“Shige wanted you to stop seeing me, right?” Tegoshi nodded. “He told me about it.”
Masuda loosened his grip around Tegoshi and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t care about what he says. I don’t want you to leave me, and most important; I won’t ever leave you.”
Tegoshi felt how his eyes once again filled up with tears. “But…he’s right. What he said, it’s all true. I’m dangerous for you, what if something would happen to you? I wouldn’t ever be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of me…”
With these words, the tears made their way down Tegoshi’s cheeks, and he sobbed softly. When he looked up, Masuda was smiling. “Yuya, you make it sound like I’m ten years old and totally unable to defend myself. What do you think I have these muscles for?”
“But still…”
“It doesn’t matter what may happen to me, you’re worth the risk.”
Tegoshi just stared at Masuda, eyes wide. “No, Taka, what if you…”
He wasn’t able to finish the sentence, Masuda’s soft, warm lips pressing against his own. In one second everything vanished as he melted in Masuda’s embrace, deepening the kiss, getting lost in the moment, forgetting everything but the person he loved more than anything else.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Finally they’ve kissed! It took them long enough already XD
And it’s my second time ranting about this today…But I didn’t get an A on my big English-test…I’m disappointed in myself, because I really believed that I had improved. Aw well, I just have to keep on fighting, I can’t do anything about it now anyway.
Thanks for reading ^.^<3