Have I ever mentioned how much I hate science?
Like, as a school subject, whatever, it’s fine, let’s learn about mitochondria and rocks. But as a thing I have to experience everyday, fuck it. Go to Hell, Science.
Which is to say that it is hot in my house and I hate hot houses.
I also don’t really see this as my house. It is still my grandfather’s house, in name and spirit. It won’t be mine in spirit until sometime in September. As for the spirit, well who knows when.
I have had at least three dreams where my grandfather was alive. Turns out he was just really sick, and when I started getting rid of his stuff, he got better and came home to berate for doing so. He’s really upset and they are very upsetting, stressful dreams. When he was alive, he always feared me throwing away his things. Would never let me clean the basement or spare bedroom, and would randomly accuse me of throwing things away when he lost them. He was a classic old man in that he refused to admit he had a bad memory. Or bad hearing.
I miss him far more than I expected. For one, we didn’t have the best relationship, and two, I have never really cared about other people dying. Which is to say I have never really experienced close loved ones dying, so I have no experience with the emotions surrounding such an event. I come home to this empty house every day and it feels bizarre and debilitating wrong. As if I do not belong here. And I don’t.
I don’t belong anywhere. But that’s a post for another time. Or you could just read the archives. My tags are kinda well organized.
After the events of July 15, I fear Halley was right. I am just no good at loving people, and I am a violent fuck up.
This house. I have three bedrooms to deal with, one nice size, 2 small ones. They all have furniture in them I do not want, but I have nowhere to store it, nor the help to move it. There are three chest of drawers, 2 dressers with mirrors, a full size bed, a daybed, a night stand, a desk, and a metal wardrobe.
I only want the bed, nightstand, and one set of drawers/dresser. Everything else can go. But as of now, it all stays because I am not executor of the estate and I don’t have the capability to get rid of the furniture I don’t want. So I have been trying to figure out how to arrange the rooms to accommodate my sleeping and my tv watching. At some point I will move the TV downstairs, but the living room is a whole other set of furniture woes.
Anyway.
I wish I were married so I could have children and raise them well. but people don’t like me and even if they did, I am a shitty worthless person who doesn’t know how to love or communicate. None of this may be true, but really, does that matter?
Jason Bourne was a decent action flick. Cool fights, a fun chase scene, and a marginally entertaining story. I was only there for the fights and Tommy Lee Jones, so I left quite satisfied.
I spend too much money. Seriously. I wish I could tell you how much money I have spent on toys, pizza, and fast food in the past 4 months, but you’d just be shocked and appalled and I don’t need that right now.
Repair the central heating and air
Buy new windows and redo the sunroom
pull up the carpeting and finish the hardwood
re-floor the basement, clean and sterilize the basement
inspect and repair the plumbing as necessary
clean out the garage and rebuild the garage or at least replace the door
make the backyard beautiful with new grass seed, some flowers, a tool shed, and maybe a food garden.
Redo the kitchen with new paint, shelves, and a tile floor, and get rid of that stupid dishwasher
Get all my stuff out of my brother’s attic, add it to my stuff here, and figure out where to store and display everything.
That’s most of the stuff, maybe all the big things that need doing. Will the inheritance e enough to do it all? Have no idea.
I actually enjoyed season 6 of Game of Thrones, as opposed to just watching it because it was there.
I need more new music. I have been listening to LMFAO and kinda liking them.
Which is to say that it is hot in my house and I hate hot houses.
I also don’t really see this as my house. It is still my grandfather’s house, in name and spirit. It won’t be mine in spirit until sometime in September. As for the spirit, well who knows when.
I have had at least three dreams where my grandfather was alive. Turns out he was just really sick, and when I started getting rid of his stuff, he got better and came home to berate for doing so. He’s really upset and they are very upsetting, stressful dreams. When he was alive, he always feared me throwing away his things. Would never let me clean the basement or spare bedroom, and would randomly accuse me of throwing things away when he lost them. He was a classic old man in that he refused to admit he had a bad memory. Or bad hearing.
I miss him far more than I expected. For one, we didn’t have the best relationship, and two, I have never really cared about other people dying. Which is to say I have never really experienced close loved ones dying, so I have no experience with the emotions surrounding such an event. I come home to this empty house every day and it feels bizarre and debilitating wrong. As if I do not belong here. And I don’t.
I don’t belong anywhere. But that’s a post for another time. Or you could just read the archives. My tags are kinda well organized.
After the events of July 15, I fear Halley was right. I am just no good at loving people, and I am a violent fuck up.
This house. I have three bedrooms to deal with, one nice size, 2 small ones. They all have furniture in them I do not want, but I have nowhere to store it, nor the help to move it. There are three chest of drawers, 2 dressers with mirrors, a full size bed, a daybed, a night stand, a desk, and a metal wardrobe.
I only want the bed, nightstand, and one set of drawers/dresser. Everything else can go. But as of now, it all stays because I am not executor of the estate and I don’t have the capability to get rid of the furniture I don’t want. So I have been trying to figure out how to arrange the rooms to accommodate my sleeping and my tv watching. At some point I will move the TV downstairs, but the living room is a whole other set of furniture woes.
Anyway.
I wish I were married so I could have children and raise them well. but people don’t like me and even if they did, I am a shitty worthless person who doesn’t know how to love or communicate. None of this may be true, but really, does that matter?
Jason Bourne was a decent action flick. Cool fights, a fun chase scene, and a marginally entertaining story. I was only there for the fights and Tommy Lee Jones, so I left quite satisfied.
I spend too much money. Seriously. I wish I could tell you how much money I have spent on toys, pizza, and fast food in the past 4 months, but you’d just be shocked and appalled and I don’t need that right now.
Repair the central heating and air
Buy new windows and redo the sunroom
pull up the carpeting and finish the hardwood
re-floor the basement, clean and sterilize the basement
inspect and repair the plumbing as necessary
clean out the garage and rebuild the garage or at least replace the door
make the backyard beautiful with new grass seed, some flowers, a tool shed, and maybe a food garden.
Redo the kitchen with new paint, shelves, and a tile floor, and get rid of that stupid dishwasher
Get all my stuff out of my brother’s attic, add it to my stuff here, and figure out where to store and display everything.
That’s most of the stuff, maybe all the big things that need doing. Will the inheritance e enough to do it all? Have no idea.
I actually enjoyed season 6 of Game of Thrones, as opposed to just watching it because it was there.
I need more new music. I have been listening to LMFAO and kinda liking them.