These People Give Christians a Really Bad Name
This is the funniest, yet most disturbing website I've ever seen. Basically, it's a Bible for kids with manga in it. Christian manga! Featuring just plain wrong interpretations of scripture and bad art! Kill me now.
This is even worse and just plain wrong. Plus they're shipping the wrong characters, not that correct shipping would make the whole thing okay.
These people are nutcases.
Update! I found a site that has the rest of the pages. Now, I know you don't want me to spoil it for you, right? Of course you do! If you read the actual thing, you'll pull out your hair from sheer terror.
So, this thing is a "satire" of Harry Potter, except with horrible names and spells that involve the word 'yogurt.'
Ari and Minnie are taken to Pigzits University (that's PU, har, har), where they are told by Dumbitdown (again, har, har) that Ari is the actual "boy who lived" figure, the only one who's ever survived attacks from Lord Vulgarmouth, who turns out to be a pretty lame anime-type villain. Dumbitdown reveals that *gasp* Ari's parents used to teach at Pigzits but left the magical world to save Ari. There, they converted to Christianity.
Minnie totally rocks spellcasting class but unbeknownst to Ari, his parents are praying for him. The Power of Prayer allows him to see that magic is fake: it's actually demons levitating objects and destroying dragons and whatnot.
Ari is powerless to defeat Lord Vulgarmouth, even when he tries casting out the demons. Then he realizes he was only a half-assed Christian, so he kneels down and gives a long speech, which allows him to clearly see all the demons and destroy Lord Vulgarmouth.
It turns out that Dumbitdown is actually the writer of the Hairy books and that this whole thing was a ruse to get two new people to take over the series because "new" influences have instilled in him a desire to write porn and reality TV. Unphased, Ari wields the power of Christ to force a confession: it is really Lord Vulgarmouth, who is really Thuukus, the demon who posessed Ari's parents, who wrote the Hairy books. Thuukus wants to get revenge on Ari's parents and also to get every child in the world posessed by a demon, which happens when they read a work of fiction and decide magic is fun. It, of course, leads them to explore higher magic. Ultimately, he just wants more bodies in Hell.
Turns out the Hairy books were written two hundred years ago by a man under the influence of Thuukus and other demons and then Dr. Bela (the proclaimed author) found them with other "real" magic tomes. Thuukus wants Ari to write the new book or he'll take Minnie down to Hell. Of course, since Minnie still believes in magic, she worships Satan by default and Ari can't help her. Thuukus missteps, though, and angers Dr. Bela, who frees Minnie. The angel returns to save Ari, who begs Minnie to accept Jesus. She doesn't and he's forced to leave her behind. So... this comic is really making out God to be an asshole.
Back in the real world, Ari wakes up to find Minnie dead. She's stuck in the occult world (read: Hell). Ari's parents try to comfort him, but ultimately, Minnie is doomed by God who sends people to Hell for not believing in him even though there's no evidence that he exists. They basically say "if you don't choose Jesus, you're screwed. Sorry about your girlfriend, son, but she was evil."
But wait! Minnie immediately wakes from her coma, realizing that Jesus is the light! Now she and Ari can live happily ever after with God! *Barf*.
So, what have we learned? Basically, Harry Potter is evil and will make children want to learn magic, which will get them posessed by evil demons and eventually land them in Hell. JK Rowling is an unnatractive man who hates Jesus and is influenced by devil spirits. Harry could have stopped Lord Voldemort by accepting Jesus as his savior and converting all his friends. Christianity is the only true religion.
And this tidbit from some guy you've never heard of: Harry Potter is evil because he doesn't pray. Prayer, and not white magic is what children should use to combat evil. I bet the fundamentalists would love Harry Potter if it was about a young boy who defeated the powers of Satan (read: his friends who are into wicca) through prayer and dilligent reading of the Bible. There's a book series for you.
This is even worse and just plain wrong. Plus they're shipping the wrong characters, not that correct shipping would make the whole thing okay.
These people are nutcases.
Update! I found a site that has the rest of the pages. Now, I know you don't want me to spoil it for you, right? Of course you do! If you read the actual thing, you'll pull out your hair from sheer terror.
So, this thing is a "satire" of Harry Potter, except with horrible names and spells that involve the word 'yogurt.'
Ari and Minnie are taken to Pigzits University (that's PU, har, har), where they are told by Dumbitdown (again, har, har) that Ari is the actual "boy who lived" figure, the only one who's ever survived attacks from Lord Vulgarmouth, who turns out to be a pretty lame anime-type villain. Dumbitdown reveals that *gasp* Ari's parents used to teach at Pigzits but left the magical world to save Ari. There, they converted to Christianity.
Minnie totally rocks spellcasting class but unbeknownst to Ari, his parents are praying for him. The Power of Prayer allows him to see that magic is fake: it's actually demons levitating objects and destroying dragons and whatnot.
Ari is powerless to defeat Lord Vulgarmouth, even when he tries casting out the demons. Then he realizes he was only a half-assed Christian, so he kneels down and gives a long speech, which allows him to clearly see all the demons and destroy Lord Vulgarmouth.
It turns out that Dumbitdown is actually the writer of the Hairy books and that this whole thing was a ruse to get two new people to take over the series because "new" influences have instilled in him a desire to write porn and reality TV. Unphased, Ari wields the power of Christ to force a confession: it is really Lord Vulgarmouth, who is really Thuukus, the demon who posessed Ari's parents, who wrote the Hairy books. Thuukus wants to get revenge on Ari's parents and also to get every child in the world posessed by a demon, which happens when they read a work of fiction and decide magic is fun. It, of course, leads them to explore higher magic. Ultimately, he just wants more bodies in Hell.
Turns out the Hairy books were written two hundred years ago by a man under the influence of Thuukus and other demons and then Dr. Bela (the proclaimed author) found them with other "real" magic tomes. Thuukus wants Ari to write the new book or he'll take Minnie down to Hell. Of course, since Minnie still believes in magic, she worships Satan by default and Ari can't help her. Thuukus missteps, though, and angers Dr. Bela, who frees Minnie. The angel returns to save Ari, who begs Minnie to accept Jesus. She doesn't and he's forced to leave her behind. So... this comic is really making out God to be an asshole.
Back in the real world, Ari wakes up to find Minnie dead. She's stuck in the occult world (read: Hell). Ari's parents try to comfort him, but ultimately, Minnie is doomed by God who sends people to Hell for not believing in him even though there's no evidence that he exists. They basically say "if you don't choose Jesus, you're screwed. Sorry about your girlfriend, son, but she was evil."
But wait! Minnie immediately wakes from her coma, realizing that Jesus is the light! Now she and Ari can live happily ever after with God! *Barf*.
So, what have we learned? Basically, Harry Potter is evil and will make children want to learn magic, which will get them posessed by evil demons and eventually land them in Hell. JK Rowling is an unnatractive man who hates Jesus and is influenced by devil spirits. Harry could have stopped Lord Voldemort by accepting Jesus as his savior and converting all his friends. Christianity is the only true religion.
And this tidbit from some guy you've never heard of: Harry Potter is evil because he doesn't pray. Prayer, and not white magic is what children should use to combat evil. I bet the fundamentalists would love Harry Potter if it was about a young boy who defeated the powers of Satan (read: his friends who are into wicca) through prayer and dilligent reading of the Bible. There's a book series for you.