(no subject)
My best friend, who lives out of state, sent me red roses for my last working day in clinic yesterday. It's the first time anyone has ever bought me flowers and...it's nice. She is so thoughtful it makes me feel like a heel when I'm not able to reciprocate as well. I really do adore her and I wish I could do a better job at showing it.
But, yeah. Yesterday was my last day staffing in clinic and I'm NOT going to miss that. I love clinic and so much gets lost when I have to hear things second-hand.
Despite myself, I...am starting to realize all of the things I AM going to miss about this place: my gym, my various running routes (both road and trail), the SMELL of the air here, the lack of flying/biting insects, the lack of humidity. At times it sort of feels like I'm dying? I've caught myself thinking quite frequently things like "Oh, I guess this is the last time I will have run this route" or "I'm never going to eat at that restaurant again." It's...making me slightly melancholy. I've never actually experienced this degree of pre-nostalgia prior to a move before. In the past, I've always been more than ready for the next thing. And, the next thing here? I'm still extremely nervous about.
It's also stupid to be this finalistic about everything here: if I wanted, I could always come back. But...I don't think I will. I think if I move away from this next job, it'll have to be to somewhere new. Life is too short to go backwards, especially for such superficial reasons as those described above. There will always be good smells, fun running routes, interesting weather, etc.
The thing that has provided me the most comfort has been writing, the thing that I can bring with me wherever I go. And, I've actually been making forward progress on my audio drama. I found it really helpful to fill out character sheets for the four most prominent characters and have a general outlined the main plot as well as more in-depth outlines for the first few episodes. I'm planning on starting the script for the first episode today! There are a couple of details I still need to iron out, the biggest being a pretty major character's personality. I don't have a model for him yet. At all. Like, he's just as likely to turn into a Clint Eastwood as he is a Joker. So I really need to work on nailing him down. He doesn't come into play until Episode 3, so that won't delay my actual writing at the moment...
Man, I'm jittery and restless and remembering how much I hate transition periods...
One nice moment: last night at trivia, one of our social group's dads was there. He also went to softball the week prior and said, "You're the jock!" That sort of made my day.
But, yeah. Yesterday was my last day staffing in clinic and I'm NOT going to miss that. I love clinic and so much gets lost when I have to hear things second-hand.
Despite myself, I...am starting to realize all of the things I AM going to miss about this place: my gym, my various running routes (both road and trail), the SMELL of the air here, the lack of flying/biting insects, the lack of humidity. At times it sort of feels like I'm dying? I've caught myself thinking quite frequently things like "Oh, I guess this is the last time I will have run this route" or "I'm never going to eat at that restaurant again." It's...making me slightly melancholy. I've never actually experienced this degree of pre-nostalgia prior to a move before. In the past, I've always been more than ready for the next thing. And, the next thing here? I'm still extremely nervous about.
It's also stupid to be this finalistic about everything here: if I wanted, I could always come back. But...I don't think I will. I think if I move away from this next job, it'll have to be to somewhere new. Life is too short to go backwards, especially for such superficial reasons as those described above. There will always be good smells, fun running routes, interesting weather, etc.
The thing that has provided me the most comfort has been writing, the thing that I can bring with me wherever I go. And, I've actually been making forward progress on my audio drama. I found it really helpful to fill out character sheets for the four most prominent characters and have a general outlined the main plot as well as more in-depth outlines for the first few episodes. I'm planning on starting the script for the first episode today! There are a couple of details I still need to iron out, the biggest being a pretty major character's personality. I don't have a model for him yet. At all. Like, he's just as likely to turn into a Clint Eastwood as he is a Joker. So I really need to work on nailing him down. He doesn't come into play until Episode 3, so that won't delay my actual writing at the moment...
Man, I'm jittery and restless and remembering how much I hate transition periods...
One nice moment: last night at trivia, one of our social group's dads was there. He also went to softball the week prior and said, "You're the jock!" That sort of made my day.