(no subject)
Life in sedona has become Myspace and Partying. Even the people i thought i would never see transform into that crowd.. are so far into it they cant get out. I hate seeing my friends change. Am i changing too? I dont feel it. I dont have my best friends anymore. Oh no wait, I do. but i've seen them about 3 times this whole summer, and we know nothing about each others lifes and what's happening. and do any of us care? im really afraid not. im scared cause i feel like im too diverse or something. im friends with the party crowd, even though i never ever party, im friends with the IBM crowd, im friends with the soccer crowd, friends with the "against drinking" crowd, friends with the subway crowd, aiiish. and i feel like the friends ive been closest to for the longest time, i've fallen away from. its never the same anymore. this summer blows.
My own mom doesnt trust me. Why? I'll never even know. Im really tired of trying to impress her. or trying to show her how hard im working. or trying to tell her im not alright all the time. Im really really tired of not being good enough. I feel like a freaking champion compared to my brother, who she lets do whatever the world he pleases. he posts bulletins on myspace talking about how he's high at the moment, he told her he has been addicted to pot since 7th grade, he got arrested and was lucky for not going to jail because they happened to not check his jacket with his pipe in it, he never passed any classes, when i got a C i was grounded. And i take the car out once, (which, by the way, he did almost every day he was here. no , sorry, EVERy day) and i get caught for it, now i can't get my license because im being punished. Fair?
I
Dont
Understand.
Im sick of my conversations with my friends being "So im glad we never hang out anymore, lets hang out!"
I miss last summer.
Alooottt..
I miss my best friends..
Alot..
My own mom doesnt trust me. Why? I'll never even know. Im really tired of trying to impress her. or trying to show her how hard im working. or trying to tell her im not alright all the time. Im really really tired of not being good enough. I feel like a freaking champion compared to my brother, who she lets do whatever the world he pleases. he posts bulletins on myspace talking about how he's high at the moment, he told her he has been addicted to pot since 7th grade, he got arrested and was lucky for not going to jail because they happened to not check his jacket with his pipe in it, he never passed any classes, when i got a C i was grounded. And i take the car out once, (which, by the way, he did almost every day he was here. no , sorry, EVERy day) and i get caught for it, now i can't get my license because im being punished. Fair?
I
Dont
Understand.
Im sick of my conversations with my friends being "So im glad we never hang out anymore, lets hang out!"
I miss last summer.
Alooottt..
I miss my best friends..
Alot..