nothing feels right when i'm not with you...
once again, i havent written in a while. but a lot is about to happen in these next couple of weeks and i feel like i'm going to get overwhelmed with it, if i dont get myself organized and on track. if theres a such thing as pre-college-graduation-anxiety, i might be experiencing it, along with a side of extremely early anxiety about andrew coming home. heres the sitch:
first, this coming week will be my last week of college courses (as far as i know) and i feel like i cant get a clear idea of how its going to go. not that i have a lot i need to get done... most of it is just making sure i do awesome on all the finals- but i cant just get myself organized for this. i'm missing one of my classes tuesday for an early doctor appointment and i guess since we're so close to the final, that makes me nervous. then, next week, i have 2 finals on tuesday (st. patricks day) and one on wednesday. i MUST do good on them, because right now, all of my grades are just average. which is fine with me, but i'd like to go out on a high note.
also, i think in the back of my mind, i'm just afraid that confusion over an art course credit isnt gonna turn out in my favor, and i dont think i'd be very happy to be waiting on a degree because i'm missing 2 stupid fine arts credit hours. lame. i turned in all the paperwork over a week ago, and i'm hoping that i would've heard from them by now, if there was a problem. keep your fingers crossed.
now, to switch subjects, next weekend i'm going to chicago just for a fun little trip with some friends. it also happened that andrew's buddy is going to be home on leave next weekend, and lives in chicago. so of course we're gonna try and meet up before heading back home... and it hit me tonight that i'm extremely anxious and excited for this, because when i meet him and actually see him in person, it will really feel like the closest i have been to andrew in months. its strange to know that this guy has been spending all these months with andrew overseas, and now i get to meet him... it just feels like i'm one person away from andrew. i dont know if any of this makes sense, but i just have a feeling like when i hug this guy, its going to be the closest i can get to andrew. and that makes me feel very lonely and it makes me miss him even more.
we're really starting to get to the homestretch of this deployment, and i know that if i start thinking about it now, i'll go crazy with anxiety and all kinds of different feelings, but its almost like i cant stop it from happening already. a couple days ago, i wrote him like, a 6 page letter pretty much discussing all of our options when he comes home. and i'm just ready for that time to come. its turned into a daily occurrence that i picture the moment i'll see him turn the corner in the airport, and the feeling of knowing that he's home. he's finally home, and safe, and with me. and at least for a little while, i wont have to think about war. i know he'll have a lot of work to do, mentally and emotionally, to get back to everyday life- but i cant wait to just get started and have it all back to normal!!
i crave anything normal right now, because every aspect of my life is in transition to something bigger.
first, this coming week will be my last week of college courses (as far as i know) and i feel like i cant get a clear idea of how its going to go. not that i have a lot i need to get done... most of it is just making sure i do awesome on all the finals- but i cant just get myself organized for this. i'm missing one of my classes tuesday for an early doctor appointment and i guess since we're so close to the final, that makes me nervous. then, next week, i have 2 finals on tuesday (st. patricks day) and one on wednesday. i MUST do good on them, because right now, all of my grades are just average. which is fine with me, but i'd like to go out on a high note.
also, i think in the back of my mind, i'm just afraid that confusion over an art course credit isnt gonna turn out in my favor, and i dont think i'd be very happy to be waiting on a degree because i'm missing 2 stupid fine arts credit hours. lame. i turned in all the paperwork over a week ago, and i'm hoping that i would've heard from them by now, if there was a problem. keep your fingers crossed.
now, to switch subjects, next weekend i'm going to chicago just for a fun little trip with some friends. it also happened that andrew's buddy is going to be home on leave next weekend, and lives in chicago. so of course we're gonna try and meet up before heading back home... and it hit me tonight that i'm extremely anxious and excited for this, because when i meet him and actually see him in person, it will really feel like the closest i have been to andrew in months. its strange to know that this guy has been spending all these months with andrew overseas, and now i get to meet him... it just feels like i'm one person away from andrew. i dont know if any of this makes sense, but i just have a feeling like when i hug this guy, its going to be the closest i can get to andrew. and that makes me feel very lonely and it makes me miss him even more.
we're really starting to get to the homestretch of this deployment, and i know that if i start thinking about it now, i'll go crazy with anxiety and all kinds of different feelings, but its almost like i cant stop it from happening already. a couple days ago, i wrote him like, a 6 page letter pretty much discussing all of our options when he comes home. and i'm just ready for that time to come. its turned into a daily occurrence that i picture the moment i'll see him turn the corner in the airport, and the feeling of knowing that he's home. he's finally home, and safe, and with me. and at least for a little while, i wont have to think about war. i know he'll have a lot of work to do, mentally and emotionally, to get back to everyday life- but i cant wait to just get started and have it all back to normal!!
i crave anything normal right now, because every aspect of my life is in transition to something bigger.