(no subject)
okay so this week got off to a rough start. valentine's day has always sucked in the past, and i've always thought that finally when i'd have a boyfriend on valentines day, maybe i'd actually enjoy it. turns out, its impossible to understand how much that holiday sucks until you celebrate it by yourself, when your significant other is half a world away in war. needless to say... theres always next year.
anyway, monday i went to ikea for a presidents day sale, instead of going to accounting, so that helped a little, until i realized i had a ton of art homework due on tuesday. its amazing how much i love art- until i'm forced to do it for a grade. if i'm learning nothing else from this quarter, i HAVE learned that art will only ever be a hobby for me, nothing more.
now onto the updates i wanted to make a couple days ago:
1. care package skills-- i was given a little pick me up a couple nights ago while talking on facebook chat with a soldier who is probably andrews closest friend overseas... we got on the topic of how andrew and i are always teasing eachother and calling eachother the worst possible names (all in good fun), and then his friend mentioned something about how the care packages i've been sending andrew have been hitting the nail on the head... or however that saying goes... and that there is nothing in those boxes that andrew gives away to the other soldiers. its funny how when i started sending care packages, i just threw stuff together and hoped that if nothing else, andrew could share it with everyone else. since then (which was 6 months ago when that started... CRAZYYYY) care-package-compiling has become unimaginably important to me. i've learned exactly what it is that he needs, how often he needs it, and what extra little things i can put in there that might brighten his day or at least get his spirits up. at first, i'd include little silly notes, that really didnt say anything important, because i felt silly about writing out my feelings; well those have since become love letters, because honestly, its the best way to tell someone you love them. his letters to me lift me up when i'm having a rough day, and remind me what it is i have to look forward to when he comes home!! even though we really do get to talk on the phone pretty often, the written stuff is always powerful, because its as intimate as you can get and its something you can always look back on. so when his buddy complemented me on the carepackages i've been sending- i'm pretty sure i smiled more genuinely than i have in a long time!
2. too early for excitement!! along the lines of andrew, i've started receiving emails from his seargant's mom (who is the leader of the F.R.G. (which stands for family readiness group)) about how important it is to start thinking about attending meetings on how to reintegrate your soldier into everyday life. first of all, all the meeting times and dates are in illinois and i dont think i'm going to make that drive. i'm hoping i can contact the ohio national guard and get the information that way, or find it somewhere online. second of all, its thrilling to think about having andrew home and helping him and being there for him! i know its going to be tough for a while there, but i cant wait to be able to be there for him and take care of him when he needs it! and third of all, because of all this, i cant help but feel like its still way too early to start thinking about them coming home. thats still like, 4 months away. i cannot be getting my hopes up already. when andrew got to come home on leave, i experienced the worst anxiety i have ever experienced in my life. and its not something i look forward to again. the excitement is great, but the anxiety is horrifying. because of this, i am not ready start thinking about him coming home. i cant let it become all i think about already!
3. school and work. i dont quite know what i had to say about school and work. other than that i'm 3 and a half weeks away from my degree!! HOLY FUCK! i still really need to get that application into cosmetology school... but jeeze louise! i cant wait to have my college diploma in my handssss!!
4. living situations... i think about moving out, constantly. i dont know when its going to be the right time financially, but everything else is telling me to move out right nooowwwww. my sister has been living in an apartment downtown for the past year and a half, and her living arrangements are a little shake after her lease is up. depending on where she decides to live next, maybe i can move in with her. i'd love it!! but with tuition bills for cosmetology school coming up, i just dont know if that'd be a smart idea for me.
5. progression at the gym. WOOOOO its going so well!! i've got mondo muscles, the problem i'm facing is how to burn the fat off, now. we've got into a routine of muscle building and toning 3 days a week, but now i need to concentrate on the inbetween days and cardio! not to mention eating better... i'm working on it. and i think that since i've started early and set my goals for this summer, i'm taking my time with this, and really trying to integrate it into my life style. starting out, i knew that seeing results would take some time, and because of this, i'm not getting upset that i havent seen my weight drop yet... theres still plenty of fine-tuning to do. plus, if i'm building muscle, and my weight hasnt raised, that means that i'm burning still burning fat!! woo.
i guess thats all really... i still feel like i have more to say, but i'd rather go read a book or go to bed. K BYE!
anyway, monday i went to ikea for a presidents day sale, instead of going to accounting, so that helped a little, until i realized i had a ton of art homework due on tuesday. its amazing how much i love art- until i'm forced to do it for a grade. if i'm learning nothing else from this quarter, i HAVE learned that art will only ever be a hobby for me, nothing more.
now onto the updates i wanted to make a couple days ago:
1. care package skills-- i was given a little pick me up a couple nights ago while talking on facebook chat with a soldier who is probably andrews closest friend overseas... we got on the topic of how andrew and i are always teasing eachother and calling eachother the worst possible names (all in good fun), and then his friend mentioned something about how the care packages i've been sending andrew have been hitting the nail on the head... or however that saying goes... and that there is nothing in those boxes that andrew gives away to the other soldiers. its funny how when i started sending care packages, i just threw stuff together and hoped that if nothing else, andrew could share it with everyone else. since then (which was 6 months ago when that started... CRAZYYYY) care-package-compiling has become unimaginably important to me. i've learned exactly what it is that he needs, how often he needs it, and what extra little things i can put in there that might brighten his day or at least get his spirits up. at first, i'd include little silly notes, that really didnt say anything important, because i felt silly about writing out my feelings; well those have since become love letters, because honestly, its the best way to tell someone you love them. his letters to me lift me up when i'm having a rough day, and remind me what it is i have to look forward to when he comes home!! even though we really do get to talk on the phone pretty often, the written stuff is always powerful, because its as intimate as you can get and its something you can always look back on. so when his buddy complemented me on the carepackages i've been sending- i'm pretty sure i smiled more genuinely than i have in a long time!
2. too early for excitement!! along the lines of andrew, i've started receiving emails from his seargant's mom (who is the leader of the F.R.G. (which stands for family readiness group)) about how important it is to start thinking about attending meetings on how to reintegrate your soldier into everyday life. first of all, all the meeting times and dates are in illinois and i dont think i'm going to make that drive. i'm hoping i can contact the ohio national guard and get the information that way, or find it somewhere online. second of all, its thrilling to think about having andrew home and helping him and being there for him! i know its going to be tough for a while there, but i cant wait to be able to be there for him and take care of him when he needs it! and third of all, because of all this, i cant help but feel like its still way too early to start thinking about them coming home. thats still like, 4 months away. i cannot be getting my hopes up already. when andrew got to come home on leave, i experienced the worst anxiety i have ever experienced in my life. and its not something i look forward to again. the excitement is great, but the anxiety is horrifying. because of this, i am not ready start thinking about him coming home. i cant let it become all i think about already!
3. school and work. i dont quite know what i had to say about school and work. other than that i'm 3 and a half weeks away from my degree!! HOLY FUCK! i still really need to get that application into cosmetology school... but jeeze louise! i cant wait to have my college diploma in my handssss!!
4. living situations... i think about moving out, constantly. i dont know when its going to be the right time financially, but everything else is telling me to move out right nooowwwww. my sister has been living in an apartment downtown for the past year and a half, and her living arrangements are a little shake after her lease is up. depending on where she decides to live next, maybe i can move in with her. i'd love it!! but with tuition bills for cosmetology school coming up, i just dont know if that'd be a smart idea for me.
5. progression at the gym. WOOOOO its going so well!! i've got mondo muscles, the problem i'm facing is how to burn the fat off, now. we've got into a routine of muscle building and toning 3 days a week, but now i need to concentrate on the inbetween days and cardio! not to mention eating better... i'm working on it. and i think that since i've started early and set my goals for this summer, i'm taking my time with this, and really trying to integrate it into my life style. starting out, i knew that seeing results would take some time, and because of this, i'm not getting upset that i havent seen my weight drop yet... theres still plenty of fine-tuning to do. plus, if i'm building muscle, and my weight hasnt raised, that means that i'm burning still burning fat!! woo.
i guess thats all really... i still feel like i have more to say, but i'd rather go read a book or go to bed. K BYE!