What to do?
I hate not being able to understand myself. When did I become such a bitter and selfish human being? I try to start fresh and make a point of saying that I will and telling others I will and telling God I will and asking for help. Things go well for a little while and then it all explodes again and I'm left in the pit I've dug myself into so many times before only to have to start all over again. How can I make the change permanent? What do I have to sacrifice? All I want is to love again the way I used to be able to a couple years back. I loved everything and I loved life with passion. Where has that gone? All I know is I absolutely need to find it again. If you believe in prayer please pray for me, it's difficult for me to pray for myself right now. I feel like I've lost so much...