"Random acts of hopelessness."
Fantastic, it’s happening again.
I can’t stop crying. I’m worrying/scared/anxious, about what seems like everything, and that everything, is scaring the shit outta me.
I don’t know what to do. Mom is at work, and I have no "friends" to call that understands/cares/isn't super busy. I am out of Cymbalta (my current anti-depressant) I took some ____, (I don't want a lecture, to make me feel worse, from my "best friend"), because I don’t know how else to stop crying, or stop these terrible thoughts/feelings, and I have no pot or a friendly voice to talk to.
“I am terrified by this dark thing
That sleeps in me;
All day I feel it’s soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.”
-Sylvia Plath
My Elko family (little bro, sis and step-mom) called last night. They are in town, and gave NO warning! Greeeat, I love that (sarcasm). I knew they were coming on their spring break, but how the fuck am I supposed to know when that spring break is, when my darling sister doesn't answer ANY of my myspace messages/comments, because her ugly/annoying/asshole boyfriend is priority #1.
The house is disgusting. We have no food. Or money. And I can hardly move.
I still don’t have my copy of HOT ROD back.
And everyone I want (or seems to actually,really care) is so far away.
And I hurt, hurt, hurt.
(I could easily list more, but what good would that do?)
“The hills step off into whiteness.
People or stars
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them.”
-Sylvia Plath
Whine, whine, whine...
Because depression/anxiety/PTSD, is a cruel Bitch, bitch, bitch.
"I need a fix, cause I'm going down."
The Beatles
I just feel so awful and lonely.
And I doubt anyone who bothers to read this cares.
(But I'm used to that by now.)
And I know I'm not doing good when I completely relate to Sylvia Plath. Yikes and yowza.
At least I've stopped crying.
Aw fuck, I hate it when the commercial for my anti-depressant comes on.
I can’t stop crying. I’m worrying/scared/anxious, about what seems like everything, and that everything, is scaring the shit outta me.
I don’t know what to do. Mom is at work, and I have no "friends" to call that understands/cares/isn't super busy. I am out of Cymbalta (my current anti-depressant) I took some ____, (I don't want a lecture, to make me feel worse, from my "best friend"), because I don’t know how else to stop crying, or stop these terrible thoughts/feelings, and I have no pot or a friendly voice to talk to.
“I am terrified by this dark thing
That sleeps in me;
All day I feel it’s soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.”
-Sylvia Plath
My Elko family (little bro, sis and step-mom) called last night. They are in town, and gave NO warning! Greeeat, I love that (sarcasm). I knew they were coming on their spring break, but how the fuck am I supposed to know when that spring break is, when my darling sister doesn't answer ANY of my myspace messages/comments, because her ugly/annoying/asshole boyfriend is priority #1.
The house is disgusting. We have no food. Or money. And I can hardly move.
I still don’t have my copy of HOT ROD back.
And everyone I want (or seems to actually,really care) is so far away.
And I hurt, hurt, hurt.
(I could easily list more, but what good would that do?)
“The hills step off into whiteness.
People or stars
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them.”
-Sylvia Plath
Whine, whine, whine...
Because depression/anxiety/PTSD, is a cruel Bitch, bitch, bitch.
"I need a fix, cause I'm going down."
The Beatles
I just feel so awful and lonely.
And I doubt anyone who bothers to read this cares.
(But I'm used to that by now.)
And I know I'm not doing good when I completely relate to Sylvia Plath. Yikes and yowza.
At least I've stopped crying.
Aw fuck, I hate it when the commercial for my anti-depressant comes on.