saying goodbye is hard
I hate being so indecisive. There are a million reasons for me to just LEAVE this job and yet I find myself loving every day at work. It's hard when there are so many people to care about. I know it's going to be insanely hard to leave.
I also know my family is going to give me so much crap over it. OH NOES DARCY WHAT ABOUT MONEY ETC. I wish people would stop defining success as money. Success ought to be measured by doing the right thing and following your heart, not following your wallet and whatever makes you feel safe. You have to take chances sometimes. You have to give yourself up in order to find yourself.... that's a Biblical truth.
Living in Japan these years has taught me so many things I would have never learned if I had stayed at home. It's been some of the hardest days of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything.
And while the weak part of me would love to do the easiest things, like staying in the US, the part of me that wants to learn more and become a better person feels like I really ought to return to Japan. I feel like I am not done learning things at my church. I hate to even leave for a few months because I am learning so much. But I also feel like I need to go home just for a bit. I really need some time with certain people in my life.
Who knows, maybe if I return to MI in July something crazy will happen that will prevent me from returning to Japan. But right now it feels like the thing I need to do. And even if it means coming here with no job and making do with private English lessons or getting a job at some restaurant, I will do it. I don't know if this is a forever thing but it seems like the next logical step. I need to just turn in the form but it's difficult saying goodbye.
I also know my family is going to give me so much crap over it. OH NOES DARCY WHAT ABOUT MONEY ETC. I wish people would stop defining success as money. Success ought to be measured by doing the right thing and following your heart, not following your wallet and whatever makes you feel safe. You have to take chances sometimes. You have to give yourself up in order to find yourself.... that's a Biblical truth.
Living in Japan these years has taught me so many things I would have never learned if I had stayed at home. It's been some of the hardest days of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything.
And while the weak part of me would love to do the easiest things, like staying in the US, the part of me that wants to learn more and become a better person feels like I really ought to return to Japan. I feel like I am not done learning things at my church. I hate to even leave for a few months because I am learning so much. But I also feel like I need to go home just for a bit. I really need some time with certain people in my life.
Who knows, maybe if I return to MI in July something crazy will happen that will prevent me from returning to Japan. But right now it feels like the thing I need to do. And even if it means coming here with no job and making do with private English lessons or getting a job at some restaurant, I will do it. I don't know if this is a forever thing but it seems like the next logical step. I need to just turn in the form but it's difficult saying goodbye.