marijuana on ONE! ..reefer on TWO!
it's COOOOLLLDDD!! we have a wind chill advisory for today. right now it's 5 degrees. BUUR! im sitting here trying to do some English homework-then sociology.. AMY-i'll include some more entries for your reading pleasure hehe ;)
so it's been a weird two weeks. i've just been trying so hard to make things work, not argue over silly things, and basically just calm down. but it's not really doing any good. i think zack is just giving up and i feel as though he treats me like one of his friends, sometimes worse. it's rough to hear from his AND my friends that he cops an attitude with them, and they tell him, "Hey man, I'm not Heather!" *sigh.. that hurts, especially because i hear it directly from donnie and brandon. therefore, i feel like he only takes an attitude with ME. i understand, sometimes he gets in a bad mood and gets annoyed very easily.
but-when we went to the half-pipe competition the other night, me and zack were standing next to the bonfire and all i wanted to do was lean against him so the smoke wouldn't go into my eyes. instead, he got mad because i kept bumping him, and moved away from me. those types of stupid things dont make me feel anymore like his girlfriend than the very first week we hung out. he was a lot nicer then. Maybe he just isn't the person i thought he was. he was different when we hung out 4 months ago.. i think i ruined him. i can only do so much and be so nice and just do the little things for him that always go unnoticed. it just hurts a lot after so long. i'm not really sure what to do about it. he doenst seem to ever take me seriously. it's difficult when you cant just ignore the phone calls and "hide" when you're angry and need time to cool. i cant do that. i just really get on his nerves, and it feels really horrible to be talked down to, and told repeatedly that they hate this place..i just dont understand. i couldn't talk to him like that no matter how mad i was. it's just wrong. even a friend noticed the way he talks to me sometimes, and says he'd NEVER EVER talk to his girlfriend that way.. and they've been together twice as long as me and zack. all i want is for him to love me the way he did when he first told me he did. i think i deserve that. but maybe i dont. at this point, im not sure anymore whether it's me that is causing the tension or him.
if his feelings arent there anymore, i just wish he would tell me. yea it would hurt like hell, but i'd rather not be lied to, and strung along like a fool.
does anyone have advice? bc i sure as hell am about to give up and just disappear, while going to school and hopefully working.
sincerly,
a confused heather
so it's been a weird two weeks. i've just been trying so hard to make things work, not argue over silly things, and basically just calm down. but it's not really doing any good. i think zack is just giving up and i feel as though he treats me like one of his friends, sometimes worse. it's rough to hear from his AND my friends that he cops an attitude with them, and they tell him, "Hey man, I'm not Heather!" *sigh.. that hurts, especially because i hear it directly from donnie and brandon. therefore, i feel like he only takes an attitude with ME. i understand, sometimes he gets in a bad mood and gets annoyed very easily.
but-when we went to the half-pipe competition the other night, me and zack were standing next to the bonfire and all i wanted to do was lean against him so the smoke wouldn't go into my eyes. instead, he got mad because i kept bumping him, and moved away from me. those types of stupid things dont make me feel anymore like his girlfriend than the very first week we hung out. he was a lot nicer then. Maybe he just isn't the person i thought he was. he was different when we hung out 4 months ago.. i think i ruined him. i can only do so much and be so nice and just do the little things for him that always go unnoticed. it just hurts a lot after so long. i'm not really sure what to do about it. he doenst seem to ever take me seriously. it's difficult when you cant just ignore the phone calls and "hide" when you're angry and need time to cool. i cant do that. i just really get on his nerves, and it feels really horrible to be talked down to, and told repeatedly that they hate this place..i just dont understand. i couldn't talk to him like that no matter how mad i was. it's just wrong. even a friend noticed the way he talks to me sometimes, and says he'd NEVER EVER talk to his girlfriend that way.. and they've been together twice as long as me and zack. all i want is for him to love me the way he did when he first told me he did. i think i deserve that. but maybe i dont. at this point, im not sure anymore whether it's me that is causing the tension or him.
if his feelings arent there anymore, i just wish he would tell me. yea it would hurt like hell, but i'd rather not be lied to, and strung along like a fool.
does anyone have advice? bc i sure as hell am about to give up and just disappear, while going to school and hopefully working.
sincerly,
a confused heather