Pride (5/10)
Title: Pride
Author: Moko
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto, Yama, Matsumiya
Rating: R-ish, for violence...
Genre: Romance, drama
Disclaimer: They're not mine...
Summary: When Ohno Satoshi got a new job, he knew he would have to face his past again, but what he didn't expect was to be helped by the most unexpected person...
Previous chapters
Chapter 5:
It had been a long time since I last felt so miserable. I don’t know what Ninomiya had in mind and why he did this, all I know is that it was so strange… He made me so scared and so relieved all at once. I didn’t know what to think and I still don’t.
He knows now. And if he asks, Sho will probably tell him everything. In the end, maybe it’s not a bad thing… Before, it would have bothered me that someone like him knew the truth, but since yesterday, I don’t know… He seemed honest when he said those things to me, I wanted so hard to trust him. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stand being scared anymore. It’s been two years, already !
This morning, I woke up after having this nightmare again. The one I used to have after Sho and I broke up. This time, though, I don’t feel so bad. It’s strange…
“Ohchan ?”
I look up to see Aiba’s face near mine. He has a tensed smile on his lips. I smile back at him, trying to make a gentle face. Aiba is the only person I can smile to for now. I’m tired of being that boring person I became. Smiling feels good.
“Hm ?”
“Can you come with me ? I wanted to talk to Sho-kun…”
I don’t know how I manage to keep smiling, but he seems a bit embarrassed. I can’t say no, so I get up from my seat.
“What do you want to tell him ?” I ask while we’re walking through the corridors.
Aiba just shrugs. I wonder why he’s acting weird.
Sho is taking a coffee at a table near the machine. He seems really tired… He must be working a lot, these times, and there’s no one home anymore to make dinner for him.
“Sho-kun…”
He looks up at the both of us when Aiba calls him. When I see him like this, I wish I hadn’t said what I said last time we talked. I perfectly know Sho isn’t a bad person at all. He’s calm, gentle and caring.
‘I never felt so ashamed of myself in my whole life…’
That’s what he told me before disappearing of my life, two years ago. At the moment, I was half conscious and my vision was blurred, but I still remember his face perfectly. How much did you suffer, Sho ?
Somehow, I can’t stop thinking about what Ninomiya said too.
“What are you guys doing here ?” he asks, a gentle smile appearing on his face.
“You seemed lonely” Aiba just says, sitting down at a chair in front of him.
“I just have a lot of work, lately…”
“You should rest” I say with a mumbling voice.
He nods, still smiling and, I don’t really get why, relieved.
“Did you… Did you talk to Jun ?” Aiba suddenly ask out of nowhere, and I know that’s what he wanted to talk to Sho about.
He frowns, apparently as confused as I am.
“Why Jun ?”
Aiba stayed silent for a minute, opening then closing his mouth repeatedly, probably thinking it was a mistake to say this.
“B… I… I think it would help you, you know… To tell him about how you feel…. I’m sure it’ll do both of you some good…”
Does this mean… ?
Sho stiffens. “How do you know about that ?” he asks, suspicious.
Aiba seems to panic.
“I heard Ninomiya-san talk about it…”
Sho’s now so tensed I’m starting to panic as well. I don’t want to see where this will go, I have a bad feeling about it.
“Nino ?! He knows ?”
Aiba nods his head with a pout. “I heard him talking about it a long time ago…”
Sho suddenly gets up with a loud bang, he’s furious. Aiba starts, a bit afraid, but the most afraid of us is probably me. I feel my fingers starting to shake uncontrollably.
Sho leaves the room, probably burning with anger, but I can’t move. Aiba gets up to follow, and when he sees me petrified, he takes my hand and drags me along with him. I don’t want to go. In these situations, there are always images of that night resurfacing into my mind and it makes me scared. So scared.
After about a minute, Aiba glances at me worriedly. He must have felt my hand trembling, but everything is going too fast for him to take time to ask what’s going on. We soon arrive in a crowded room, the one that leads to my office. Ninomiya is here, checking some papers someone gave him to read. I don’t want to see this !
“Ninomiya !”
The boss doesn’t start, he just turns his face toward Sho with that little smirk of his and he doesn’t even loose it when he sees the state of his friend. Sho is very angry. He grabs Ninomiya’s collar and slams him against the wall.
“You knew everything !”
Ninomiya is now staring at Sho with a serious face. He’s not joking anymore. Aiba let go of me and try to grab Sho to pull him away, but he can’t.
“What are you talking about ?” the boss asks.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you bastard !”
“Sho-kun, please stop !”
Sho slams the boss against the wall once more and Ninomiya let out a surprised gasp. Aiba desperately try to make them stop, then turns toward me for help, but I can’t help. I’m petrified. My entire body is trembling now and I can’t move an inch, I’m fucking scared.
For a second, I see Ninomiya’s eyes on me, above Sho’s shoulder. Then he looks back at his friend, and once more at me.
“I thought we were friends ! After everything I told you, you’re still doing that to him even though you knew !”
I don’t know what he’s talking about, maybe about Ninomiya sleeping with Jun, about him liking Jun, everything is a mess in my mind, I can’t think straight.
“Aren’t you going to say at least you’re sorry ?!”
“I’m not sorry” Ninomiya immediately answers.
Sho suddenly punches him in the face so hard he’s hurled to the floor.
Everything seems to stop at that moment. Everyone around is staring at the scene and the silence is complete. No one moves… Actually no one dares to move, everything seems frozen around us.
Ninomiya doesn’t stay there long, he quickly sit up and wipe the blood on his mouth, then he looks up at me again. His eyes meet mines and it seems to me like my legs are going to give up.
“Sho-kun, please stop” Aiba whispers, trying to calm Sho down.
It seems like this punch released the tension in the atmosphere. Sho follows Nino’s gaze and his eyes fall on me. His expression quickly turns shattered.
“Satoshi…” I hear him say.
I just want to leave this place, run away as fast as I can, but I still can’t move a muscle. Sho throws a last glance at Ninomiya, then walks away. I finally move just to get as far as I can when he passes by me. He stops for a second, but then understand I don’t want him near me right now and leaves the room. Aiba seems to hesitate, but he ends up following Sho.
There’s a long silent for a minute during which nobody moves, even the boss. After a moment, I slowly walk nearer to him and he glances at me, then start getting on his feet.
“Do you… Need some help ?” I ask.
I know I’m supposed to hate him, but considering what Sho just did, and what he told me yesterday too, I can’t really hate him anymore.
He flicks the dust off his suit and slightly smiles at me.
“It’s okay” then he turns his eyes toward the unmoving crowd. “If you don’t move your asses right now, you’re all fired!” he shouts.
“Ohchan !”
Aiba is already near me almost as soon as I leave the room. I guess Sho-kun told him he wanted to be alone, and I admit I’d like to stay alone for a bit as well… Just to calm down.
“Why didn’t you do anything ?” he asks, and I stop in the middle of the corridor.
“I…”
“Why didn’t you help me ? We could have prevented this from happening…”
I hardly think we could have done this… I can see on his face he seems… Disappointed. Maybe he thinks of me as a coward.
“I’m sorry…”
“Well, it doesn’t really tell me why !” He’s serious and he has this blaming tone that makes me feel guilty.
“I couldn’t” I simply answer, but of course, that won’t do.
“And why is that ?”
“I…” I’m not afraid of admitting it, after all, but he won’t understand. “I was scared…”
“Scared of what ? That Sho-kun might hit you ?”
Why ? Why do I have to stand for the coward guy here when it’s not true ? Why are they always judging me though they don’t know of… They have no idea…
I must have shown it on my face because Aiba’s expression suddenly turns hesitant and he looks down.
“Sorry…” he says. “I’m just trying to understand what happened… I mean… I needed your help but when I looked at you, you seemed… I don’t know… Strange. Is there something going on ?”
I’m truly sorry for not being able to help Aiba. Maybe it’s time for me to finally talk about all this to someone, but I’m not ready. Not yet.
“It’s… Complicated.”
He frowns. I look around us, there are a few persons getting out of the room who are sending us weird looks.
“You won’t tell me” he says. It’s more of a statement. He seems… A bit tensed, I guess.
I don’t want him to think I’m not telling him because I don’t like him or something like that…
“I’m sorry, Aiba-kun… It’s not you… It’s just… Not something I can talk about.”
He nods. “Okay…”
I stare at him for a long time and we both remain silent. There’s nothing more to say. Then, he looks up at me and I smile a bit.
“I should go back to work” I say before walking away, going back to what I was doing before Aiba came to see me.
Unfortunately, the rest of the day went so slow I almost fell asleep on the desk. I think I did at some point because I ended up with a mark of ink on my cheek. I noticed it when I went to the toilets.
And now, finally the end of the day, I put everything in order before going home when someone enters the room. I look up to see Ninomiya’s eyes on me. He’s not smirking, which is quite unusual… I can’t read his face, but he’s not showing much feelings. I frown.
“You’re leaving” he says, stating the obvious.
I just nod, noticing only now that it’s almost night outside, but there’s still lots of activity around.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier…” he says then, stepping farther into the room, closer to me, but this time I don’t mind so much.
“I’m sorry” It seems like I spent the day apologizing. “I’m sorry for not trying to hold Sho-kun back…”
“Don’t be” he immediately says. “You don’t have anything to do with this. Though I saw you standing there…”
He stops a meter away from me and we stare at each other. I know people normally look down when he’s near them, but I don’t want to. It’s strange but right now, the almighty, frightening, cold, arrogant and irritatingly handsome Ninomiya Kazunari is calm and has a soothing aura. And he’s not looking at me with his wealthy asshole expression he usually has.
“I was… I was scared…”
“I know.”
I guess he does now. After seeing me so miserable yesterday.
He tilts his head. “What makes you so scared, Ohno Satoshi ?”
It’s the second time he calls me by my full name and somehow, it feels so strange. Right now, I’d like to tell him. Tell him everything. But I can’t… I’m not strong enough… I’ll never be.
I open my mouth a few times to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He smirks.
“It has something to do with Sho, I bet.”
I bite my lips. It’s quite obvious anyway.
“He did something to you…”
This time, I look away. It feels like he’s reading me like an open book, and I feel too awkward to look at him right now.
“It’s okay” he says with a gentle voice. “You don’t have to tell me now, but I’ll find out, anyway.”
He turns round, then makes a few steps farther to me, ready to leave, but somehow I don’t want to be left alone. Not right now. I watch his back for a second before following him as fast as I can, then catching his arm.
He looks surprised when he turns his eyes to me and for the first time I notice we’re about the same height. He must be one or two centimetres taller.
“What you said yesterday…” I say hesitatingly. “Did you really mean it ?”
He raises an eyebrow with that little smirk of his.
“Did I really mean it ?” he repeats mockingly, making me think for a second that my cold boss is back.
I nod anyway. Maybe I’m a scared idiot when it comes to violence, but not when it comes to Ninomiya being an asshole.
He doesn’t answer, though. Or yes he does. His answer is to grab the back of my neck and pull me toward him to kiss me.
This time I don’t push him away, because it’s just so different from the first time. It’s not brutal, it’s not just a kiss to play or a part of his game, I know it’s not. I want to believe it’s not because I feel like he means it. So I close my eyes and kiss him back.
When he feels me answering him, he smiles in the kiss, then grab my wrist to pull me aside. For a second I don’t really get what’s going on until I find myself pushed against a wall and Ninomiya’s lips are back on mine, this time trying to deepen the kiss. I automatically part my lips and our tongues meet.
I feel one of his hand on my cheek while the other is resting somewhere on the wall and I grab his shoulder, pulling him closer, making him smirk even more. A strangled whimper escape from me in return before I can hold it back.
We kiss until we’re both out of breath. When he pulls his face away, his fingers quickly grabs my chin, then I see his playful smirk and somehow it doesn’t bother me. He tilts his head to the side, as if to get a better view of my face, then he walks away without saying anything. There’s nothing to say, anyway.
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A/N: So, there's a lot of actions in this chap, right?
I'm really sorry I couldn't answer your comments on last chap, but I got really busy with RL and I couldn't find the time! >.< Thank you so much for your lovely comments =D
And, I think there won't be Pride next week, because I wrote a fiction for Nino's birthday and I don't really like posting two fictions at the same time so, I'll post the other one first and continue with Pride afterwards (It's a mini-series, so it won't take long) I guess the next chap will come in two weeks =D
Author: Moko
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto, Yama, Matsumiya
Rating: R-ish, for violence...
Genre: Romance, drama
Disclaimer: They're not mine...
Summary: When Ohno Satoshi got a new job, he knew he would have to face his past again, but what he didn't expect was to be helped by the most unexpected person...
Previous chapters
Chapter 5:
It had been a long time since I last felt so miserable. I don’t know what Ninomiya had in mind and why he did this, all I know is that it was so strange… He made me so scared and so relieved all at once. I didn’t know what to think and I still don’t.
He knows now. And if he asks, Sho will probably tell him everything. In the end, maybe it’s not a bad thing… Before, it would have bothered me that someone like him knew the truth, but since yesterday, I don’t know… He seemed honest when he said those things to me, I wanted so hard to trust him. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stand being scared anymore. It’s been two years, already !
This morning, I woke up after having this nightmare again. The one I used to have after Sho and I broke up. This time, though, I don’t feel so bad. It’s strange…
“Ohchan ?”
I look up to see Aiba’s face near mine. He has a tensed smile on his lips. I smile back at him, trying to make a gentle face. Aiba is the only person I can smile to for now. I’m tired of being that boring person I became. Smiling feels good.
“Hm ?”
“Can you come with me ? I wanted to talk to Sho-kun…”
I don’t know how I manage to keep smiling, but he seems a bit embarrassed. I can’t say no, so I get up from my seat.
“What do you want to tell him ?” I ask while we’re walking through the corridors.
Aiba just shrugs. I wonder why he’s acting weird.
Sho is taking a coffee at a table near the machine. He seems really tired… He must be working a lot, these times, and there’s no one home anymore to make dinner for him.
“Sho-kun…”
He looks up at the both of us when Aiba calls him. When I see him like this, I wish I hadn’t said what I said last time we talked. I perfectly know Sho isn’t a bad person at all. He’s calm, gentle and caring.
‘I never felt so ashamed of myself in my whole life…’
That’s what he told me before disappearing of my life, two years ago. At the moment, I was half conscious and my vision was blurred, but I still remember his face perfectly. How much did you suffer, Sho ?
Somehow, I can’t stop thinking about what Ninomiya said too.
“What are you guys doing here ?” he asks, a gentle smile appearing on his face.
“You seemed lonely” Aiba just says, sitting down at a chair in front of him.
“I just have a lot of work, lately…”
“You should rest” I say with a mumbling voice.
He nods, still smiling and, I don’t really get why, relieved.
“Did you… Did you talk to Jun ?” Aiba suddenly ask out of nowhere, and I know that’s what he wanted to talk to Sho about.
He frowns, apparently as confused as I am.
“Why Jun ?”
Aiba stayed silent for a minute, opening then closing his mouth repeatedly, probably thinking it was a mistake to say this.
“B… I… I think it would help you, you know… To tell him about how you feel…. I’m sure it’ll do both of you some good…”
Does this mean… ?
Sho stiffens. “How do you know about that ?” he asks, suspicious.
Aiba seems to panic.
“I heard Ninomiya-san talk about it…”
Sho’s now so tensed I’m starting to panic as well. I don’t want to see where this will go, I have a bad feeling about it.
“Nino ?! He knows ?”
Aiba nods his head with a pout. “I heard him talking about it a long time ago…”
Sho suddenly gets up with a loud bang, he’s furious. Aiba starts, a bit afraid, but the most afraid of us is probably me. I feel my fingers starting to shake uncontrollably.
Sho leaves the room, probably burning with anger, but I can’t move. Aiba gets up to follow, and when he sees me petrified, he takes my hand and drags me along with him. I don’t want to go. In these situations, there are always images of that night resurfacing into my mind and it makes me scared. So scared.
After about a minute, Aiba glances at me worriedly. He must have felt my hand trembling, but everything is going too fast for him to take time to ask what’s going on. We soon arrive in a crowded room, the one that leads to my office. Ninomiya is here, checking some papers someone gave him to read. I don’t want to see this !
“Ninomiya !”
The boss doesn’t start, he just turns his face toward Sho with that little smirk of his and he doesn’t even loose it when he sees the state of his friend. Sho is very angry. He grabs Ninomiya’s collar and slams him against the wall.
“You knew everything !”
Ninomiya is now staring at Sho with a serious face. He’s not joking anymore. Aiba let go of me and try to grab Sho to pull him away, but he can’t.
“What are you talking about ?” the boss asks.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you bastard !”
“Sho-kun, please stop !”
Sho slams the boss against the wall once more and Ninomiya let out a surprised gasp. Aiba desperately try to make them stop, then turns toward me for help, but I can’t help. I’m petrified. My entire body is trembling now and I can’t move an inch, I’m fucking scared.
For a second, I see Ninomiya’s eyes on me, above Sho’s shoulder. Then he looks back at his friend, and once more at me.
“I thought we were friends ! After everything I told you, you’re still doing that to him even though you knew !”
I don’t know what he’s talking about, maybe about Ninomiya sleeping with Jun, about him liking Jun, everything is a mess in my mind, I can’t think straight.
“Aren’t you going to say at least you’re sorry ?!”
“I’m not sorry” Ninomiya immediately answers.
Sho suddenly punches him in the face so hard he’s hurled to the floor.
Everything seems to stop at that moment. Everyone around is staring at the scene and the silence is complete. No one moves… Actually no one dares to move, everything seems frozen around us.
Ninomiya doesn’t stay there long, he quickly sit up and wipe the blood on his mouth, then he looks up at me again. His eyes meet mines and it seems to me like my legs are going to give up.
“Sho-kun, please stop” Aiba whispers, trying to calm Sho down.
It seems like this punch released the tension in the atmosphere. Sho follows Nino’s gaze and his eyes fall on me. His expression quickly turns shattered.
“Satoshi…” I hear him say.
I just want to leave this place, run away as fast as I can, but I still can’t move a muscle. Sho throws a last glance at Ninomiya, then walks away. I finally move just to get as far as I can when he passes by me. He stops for a second, but then understand I don’t want him near me right now and leaves the room. Aiba seems to hesitate, but he ends up following Sho.
There’s a long silent for a minute during which nobody moves, even the boss. After a moment, I slowly walk nearer to him and he glances at me, then start getting on his feet.
“Do you… Need some help ?” I ask.
I know I’m supposed to hate him, but considering what Sho just did, and what he told me yesterday too, I can’t really hate him anymore.
He flicks the dust off his suit and slightly smiles at me.
“It’s okay” then he turns his eyes toward the unmoving crowd. “If you don’t move your asses right now, you’re all fired!” he shouts.
“Ohchan !”
Aiba is already near me almost as soon as I leave the room. I guess Sho-kun told him he wanted to be alone, and I admit I’d like to stay alone for a bit as well… Just to calm down.
“Why didn’t you do anything ?” he asks, and I stop in the middle of the corridor.
“I…”
“Why didn’t you help me ? We could have prevented this from happening…”
I hardly think we could have done this… I can see on his face he seems… Disappointed. Maybe he thinks of me as a coward.
“I’m sorry…”
“Well, it doesn’t really tell me why !” He’s serious and he has this blaming tone that makes me feel guilty.
“I couldn’t” I simply answer, but of course, that won’t do.
“And why is that ?”
“I…” I’m not afraid of admitting it, after all, but he won’t understand. “I was scared…”
“Scared of what ? That Sho-kun might hit you ?”
Why ? Why do I have to stand for the coward guy here when it’s not true ? Why are they always judging me though they don’t know of… They have no idea…
I must have shown it on my face because Aiba’s expression suddenly turns hesitant and he looks down.
“Sorry…” he says. “I’m just trying to understand what happened… I mean… I needed your help but when I looked at you, you seemed… I don’t know… Strange. Is there something going on ?”
I’m truly sorry for not being able to help Aiba. Maybe it’s time for me to finally talk about all this to someone, but I’m not ready. Not yet.
“It’s… Complicated.”
He frowns. I look around us, there are a few persons getting out of the room who are sending us weird looks.
“You won’t tell me” he says. It’s more of a statement. He seems… A bit tensed, I guess.
I don’t want him to think I’m not telling him because I don’t like him or something like that…
“I’m sorry, Aiba-kun… It’s not you… It’s just… Not something I can talk about.”
He nods. “Okay…”
I stare at him for a long time and we both remain silent. There’s nothing more to say. Then, he looks up at me and I smile a bit.
“I should go back to work” I say before walking away, going back to what I was doing before Aiba came to see me.
Unfortunately, the rest of the day went so slow I almost fell asleep on the desk. I think I did at some point because I ended up with a mark of ink on my cheek. I noticed it when I went to the toilets.
And now, finally the end of the day, I put everything in order before going home when someone enters the room. I look up to see Ninomiya’s eyes on me. He’s not smirking, which is quite unusual… I can’t read his face, but he’s not showing much feelings. I frown.
“You’re leaving” he says, stating the obvious.
I just nod, noticing only now that it’s almost night outside, but there’s still lots of activity around.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier…” he says then, stepping farther into the room, closer to me, but this time I don’t mind so much.
“I’m sorry” It seems like I spent the day apologizing. “I’m sorry for not trying to hold Sho-kun back…”
“Don’t be” he immediately says. “You don’t have anything to do with this. Though I saw you standing there…”
He stops a meter away from me and we stare at each other. I know people normally look down when he’s near them, but I don’t want to. It’s strange but right now, the almighty, frightening, cold, arrogant and irritatingly handsome Ninomiya Kazunari is calm and has a soothing aura. And he’s not looking at me with his wealthy asshole expression he usually has.
“I was… I was scared…”
“I know.”
I guess he does now. After seeing me so miserable yesterday.
He tilts his head. “What makes you so scared, Ohno Satoshi ?”
It’s the second time he calls me by my full name and somehow, it feels so strange. Right now, I’d like to tell him. Tell him everything. But I can’t… I’m not strong enough… I’ll never be.
I open my mouth a few times to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He smirks.
“It has something to do with Sho, I bet.”
I bite my lips. It’s quite obvious anyway.
“He did something to you…”
This time, I look away. It feels like he’s reading me like an open book, and I feel too awkward to look at him right now.
“It’s okay” he says with a gentle voice. “You don’t have to tell me now, but I’ll find out, anyway.”
He turns round, then makes a few steps farther to me, ready to leave, but somehow I don’t want to be left alone. Not right now. I watch his back for a second before following him as fast as I can, then catching his arm.
He looks surprised when he turns his eyes to me and for the first time I notice we’re about the same height. He must be one or two centimetres taller.
“What you said yesterday…” I say hesitatingly. “Did you really mean it ?”
He raises an eyebrow with that little smirk of his.
“Did I really mean it ?” he repeats mockingly, making me think for a second that my cold boss is back.
I nod anyway. Maybe I’m a scared idiot when it comes to violence, but not when it comes to Ninomiya being an asshole.
He doesn’t answer, though. Or yes he does. His answer is to grab the back of my neck and pull me toward him to kiss me.
This time I don’t push him away, because it’s just so different from the first time. It’s not brutal, it’s not just a kiss to play or a part of his game, I know it’s not. I want to believe it’s not because I feel like he means it. So I close my eyes and kiss him back.
When he feels me answering him, he smiles in the kiss, then grab my wrist to pull me aside. For a second I don’t really get what’s going on until I find myself pushed against a wall and Ninomiya’s lips are back on mine, this time trying to deepen the kiss. I automatically part my lips and our tongues meet.
I feel one of his hand on my cheek while the other is resting somewhere on the wall and I grab his shoulder, pulling him closer, making him smirk even more. A strangled whimper escape from me in return before I can hold it back.
We kiss until we’re both out of breath. When he pulls his face away, his fingers quickly grabs my chin, then I see his playful smirk and somehow it doesn’t bother me. He tilts his head to the side, as if to get a better view of my face, then he walks away without saying anything. There’s nothing to say, anyway.
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A/N: So, there's a lot of actions in this chap, right?
I'm really sorry I couldn't answer your comments on last chap, but I got really busy with RL and I couldn't find the time! >.< Thank you so much for your lovely comments =D
And, I think there won't be Pride next week, because I wrote a fiction for Nino's birthday and I don't really like posting two fictions at the same time so, I'll post the other one first and continue with Pride afterwards (It's a mini-series, so it won't take long) I guess the next chap will come in two weeks =D