Distance (Chapter 8)
Title: Distance
Author: Moko
Pairing: Ohmiya, Yama, slight Aimiya
Rating: R-ish... I guess
Genre: AU, drama, romance...
Disclaimer: The story comes from my brain...?
Beta-ed by bluemonstar ! Love you dear ♥!
Summary: When Ohno has to get married, his long relationship with Nino comes to an end against his wish. But 3 years later, Nino suddenly reappears in his life.
Notes: Ohno's POV
I'm really sorry for the delay... Woo, it's been more than a week O_O
Chapterlist
Chapter 8:
I hate finding myself in that kind of situation. And it’s not the first time. And this time it’s even worst.
« Satoshi ? Are you alright ? »
I come back to my senses thanks to Sho’s voice near my ear. I was lost deeply in my thoughts, trying to avoid looking at any of those two who are standing in front of me. Who are they ? But the Ninomiya couple, of course !
I feel like collapsing, right now.
« Yeah… I’m… just… fine… » I answer with a trembling voice.
« You’re really pale… »
I’m thankful to Sho for being worried, but it’s absolutely not the right time and place. Especially with all these people gathered around us. They’re all waiting for the casting of Jun’s new movie to appear, with the producer. The movie had ended about thirty minutes ago. Maybe at that moment, I’ll be able to escape somewhere. Alone. With a glass of alcohol.
« The food at your parents’ restaurant was really delicious, Ninomiya-san » Sho says, resuming to the conversation they were having.
« Oh, thank you ! » Masaki smiles cheerfully. « I’ll tell them, they’ll be so glad ! »
« Are you going to inherit the restaurant ? »
« Yeah, when my father decides it’s time for me to do so… But he doesn’t seem to be wanting to hand me the responsibilities yet, so I’m waiting… Kazunari is the one who’ll officially inherit it though… But Kazu’s so nice, he said he’ll help me with the cooking. Right ? »
Masaki seems so excited each time he talks about the restaurant of his parents. He turns his head toward Kazu, who smiles back at him.
« Of course. If I let you do, the restaurant will burn down… » Kazu answers mockingly.
« You won’t hire a chef ? » Sho raises his eyebrows, a bit confused.
Masaki frowns at the idea. « My father would be so angry. For him, hiring a chef is like losing the pride of our family, he says. »
« Oh… »
« Mainly since our restaurant has became so well-known because of our family’s skills, so that’s why… »
Masaki is wearing his usual grey suit, just like me. The problem is, he’s almost a head taller than Nino, who’s in black. There’s something weird about this marriage. Shouldn’t Nino be an Aiba ?
I want to escape from here. That’s when I notice Sho’s glass is empty. So I get closer to him to take it from his hand. Even though I’m not really comfortable with it, being close publicly seems normal, since we’re supposed to be the perfect couple, aren’t we ?
When Sho notices me, his arm comes around my waist.
« Satoshi, you don’t have to… » he says, looking embarrassed.
« It’s okay, I’ll bring you another one. I want one too… » I say with a forced smile.
He holds me tighter, as if asking me if I’m really sure. Is he really concerned or he’s just acting ? I guess it’s both.
Then, I turn towards Masaki and Nino, and I notice that scary fake smile on Nino’s face. I’ve seen it so many times already in the past, that I perfectly know what it means. Three years earlier, I would have watched my steps carefully, because he would have been able to push me against a wall, in a hallway, and punish me for being so bold without worrying about other people seeing us. Now, I can’t allow it. And his jealousy isn’t justified since Sho’s my husband.
So, I leave them, taking the direction of the bar. Anywhere is fine ! Just let me be alone for a moment. So I sit there and think. I think about my debts… Well, not really mine, but still mine. I’m the one in trouble because of my father. What did my uncle say ? ‘Your mother can yell and cry as much as she wants’. So she really hates me… Is it because of me cutting bonds with them and leaving them ? In the end, what they had wanted when they gave me away for didn’t happen. I didn’t help them financially. I just became Sho’s useless toy. The brilliant, smart, and respected Sakurai Sho. I don’t want to be well-known. I just want someone who could get everyone’s attention away from me. And Sho do. Sho let me hide behind his back, he let me walk in his shadow, and somehow, I think that’s why I can’t make myself think about leaving.
« The restroom… »
I start so hard that I have to put my hand on my mouth to avoid yelling. I turn round to see Kazu’s smirking face just inches away from mine.
« Now… » he says softly. « Come… »
I shouldn’t. I really really shouldn’t do that, but I can’t resist. So when Nino walks away, I wait a bit before following him. I know where he’s going. And I know what he’s about to do.
When I arrive in the restroom, he has his back leaned against the back wall. I start to check to see if there’s anyone here, but he stops me.
« There’s no one » he says, staring at me with a half pout, half smirk.
The door’s closed. Just for safety measures, I lock it.
« Kazu, I’m not staying here » I warn him, fearing that Sho might want to look for me.
« Sakurai is with the Prime Minister, so we have time » he crosses his arms on his chest.
« What about Masaki-kun ? »
He frowns. « Masaki’s with his brother. He left just after you did. You stayed there for thirty minutes, you know… »
Oh, really ? I thought only five minutes had passed while I was lost in thoughts. I’d better go back. Sho will get suspicious…
« Oh no, you’re not leaving » Kazu threatens with a creepy voice that send chills down my spine. « You know I’m getting horny when I’m jealous, so now you’d better finish me off, ‘cause I’m more than aroused, right now ! »
I gulp. There’s times like that when I hate him so much. He’d better not touch me. But I have to admit that I can clearly see he’s not lying.
So I just get closer to him, walking quickly, then I kiss him straight. He doesn’t protest, just smile in the kiss, thinking he won. But I won’t let him. He can’t control me that easily.
While our lips are stuck together, I feel his little hands under my shirt. And he teases my skin, making me shiver, deepening the kiss at the same time. I won’t loose.
My hands run down his chest, touching each button of his shirt as if I was about to undo it, but in the end I don’t. He let out a low whimper to protest. I gasp when he suddenly pinches my hip hard, nuzzling my face in his neck. I whine against his skin when I feel his fingers gliding up my back.
Satoshi, wake up !
I grab the button of his pants to undo it, and he stops teasing me, maybe waiting. When I’m done with the zipper, I slip my hand in his underwear and he smirks. I look at him straight in the eyes for a second, before looking down, then kneeling. He frowns.
So I give him a blowjob here. And I’m surprised that he doesn’t even try to complain. He moans like mad, letting me do it by myself at first. But then, he grabs my hair, and in the end, he’s the one riding. After all, I didn’t feel as if I won anything, but well… He used me again, I’m just his toy right now. Weird, because I’m not supposed to be his, and the worse is, I wouldn’t have done this even to my owner.
When we’re finished, Kazu lets himself slip down the wall, like exhausted. I remain crouched down in front of him, wiping my lips and he smirks. I lean in to give him a peck.
« You must think that you won something, but fucking your so damn perfect lips was exactly what I wanted » he says mockingly, taking my hand in his.
I pull away.
« I hate you » I answer like a whisper, making his smirk widen.
« I guess no matter how many years will pass, you’ll never change… »
I nod with a little smile. « You’d better get your pants on. »
He sighs, then gets up with a pout and do what I said. I get up too, ready to go. But I don’t feel like leaving him now. So I just step closer, one of my hand comes stroking his cheek and he looks at me in the eyes.
« Toshi ? » he asks with a strange voice. I know this tone. When Kazu talks like that, he seems like a little child who lost his way, and I’m unable to resist it.
« Hmm ? »
« Are you scared ? That… Sakurai might discover… »
I kiss him, feeling his hands on my arms, cupping his face. But it’s not a long kiss.
« I don’t know… » I answer then.
I’m scared of losing Kazu, yeah. But somehow, I feel so selfish. Because I’m scared of losing Sho too. So damn scared.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes I wonder… Is it because my life is so boring that I’m not putting an end to this relationship with Nino ?
Yesterday, when we came back in the crowded room, Sho was still with the Prime Minister, but Jun was there too. I walked towards them first while Nino went to look for Masaki. Maybe Masaki wasn’t fine, because I didn’t see him again that night. I looked for him while the others were talking, but he was nowhere to be seen.
I’m at home, as always, at night. Watching TV while drawing some random stuff. My mother was encouraging me to do art before… But now I guess she won’t care.
There’s images of the Ninomiya Minister on TV. For a moment, I consider turning it off, but the remote is too far…
Then, my phone rings. I see it lighting on the table, and it make me realize how dark the room now is.
« Yes ? »
« Are you Ohno Satoshi ? »
I don’t know this voice. I didn’t even check who was calling before answering, but I guess it’s an unknown number.
It’s been three years since I left the Ohno family, but it doesn’t matter…
« Yeah… »
« We heard that Ohno died, it seems like you’re his heir. »
That voice is so cold and creepy… And mocking at the same time. My misery seems entertaining for that guy, I guess.
And ‘we’ ?
« I am… » I answer, faltering.
I can hear him smirking at the other side of the line.
« It’s time to pay for his debts, now… »
Oh, so that’s it ! I should have figured this out before ! He must be one of the people my father owes money to… I guess they’re some kind of Yakuza or something… Wait ! I feel a shiver run through my entire body.
« I… Can’t pay now… »
« You’d better do it » he answers straight.
I remain silent for a minute, then…
« What if… What if I don’t… Pay… ? »
I really shouldn’t have asked. The guy remain silent a moment, even though I’m sure he perfectly knows the answer already. And I know it too.
« You have a sister, don’t you ? »
No, not that !
I don’t say a thing.
« A woman is almost too easy… What about her and your mother ? And your sister’s child ? I bet you don’t care about her husband… »
All of that just for money ? But well, it’s a huge amount. I don’t even want to say it. And I don’t really know what it is about… Kidnapping ? Torture ? Murder ?
« Please, give me some time… A month… Maybe two… » I say. My voice turned pleading against my wish.
« A week. You have a week. »
« Did you make someone kill my father ? » I ask suddenly, because that question flashed through my mind.
I actually don’t want to know the answer. They killed him because he wouldn’t pay, in order to make me inherit of his debts and force me to pay it, because I was more likely to do it. I guess…
« Your father remained unsensitive at whatever we could threaten him with, especially when it came to you, saying he didn’t care. He paid it. »
When it came to me ?
Then, the guy repeats that I have a week and hang up.
I can’t move. I can’t breath. The fear slowly takes the upper hand on me, and I can’t fight it. I don’t… I…
I wrap my arms around my own body as if I’m about to break, which isn’t far from the truth. But at least, not physically.
Maybe an hour later, when Sho comes back home, he finds me in the same position. I hear him walking toward me. My face is hidden against my knees, so I can’t really see, but he walks slowly, and when he arrives near me, I hear him kneeling down. Maybe he’s worried. But he doesn’t touch me.
« Satoshi… ? »
I don’t answer. I can’t. I can’t look at him in that state, or he’ll see how much weak I am. But Sho doesn’t deserve all this.
« Are you okay ? »
Then, I finally feel his hand on my shoulder, and I can’t hold myself any longer. I lift my head up to stare at his face. My cheeks are wet, though I don’t remember crying. So after a minute, I look away, wiping my face, then my eyes fall back on him. I never saw him that much worried, and it’s not an act.
« Do they really hate me ? » I ask with a weak voice, making him look even more worried.
« Who ? »
He gets closer to me and his arm is now around my shoulders. I wipe my face again.
« My parents » I say.
I don’t hear what my own voice when I talk, and I wonder how he manages to understand what I’m telling him.
« Do they really hate me ? » I repeat.
His expression softens. Seeing that, I let my head rest against his neck, everything is confused in my head, right now. Sho holds me, one of his arm around my shoulders, his other hand on my back.
« Nobody hates you, Satoshi » he says. I bury my face in his shirt, feeling tears coming back to my eyes again. « I guess, your mother got confused because of your father’s death, that’s all… You’re still her child, how can she possibly hate you ? »
He holds me a bit tighter and I wrap my arms around his chest. I don’t deserve Sho’s kindness. I don’t deserve it at all.
« Why are you saying that ? » he asks hesitantly.
But he knows I won’t answer. What can I answer with anyway ? Because of some kind of yakuza threatening me, saying that my dad didn’t mind bad people doing bad things to me… If I say that, he’ll know I have debts, and he’ll want to help me. I don’t want him to help me. I have no rights over Sho’s money… I don’t deserve Sho’s concern.
For the first time in a while, I feel Sho’s lips on top of my head. And that’s when an awful thought come to my mind. What if Sho already knew ? What if he had discover ?
I don’t want him to leave me. What do I want, then ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after, I’m too ashamed to see Sho before he leaves for work. But I know he’s still worried. He even checks on me to see if I’m not sick, putting his hand on my forehead. But I keep pretending as if I was sleeping. Because I don’t want him to know how much ashamed of myself I am.
I get up about twenty minutes after he left. I immediately take a long shower, then consider eating a breakfast, but I’m not hungry. I’ve not been eating much these times, and I know it’s unusual… Because I’m the type of person who’ll eat a lot.
Just when I close the cupboard, trying to decide on something to eat in vain, the bell rings. I go open the door, and I’m taken aback to see Masaki standing outside. He grins at me.
« Masaki-kun ! What a nice surprise… » I say, I’m happy to see him, even though it reminds me of my own shame.
« Hi, Satoshi-san ! Friends can come even when they’re not expected, right ? »
« Of course, come in… »
I let him enter, then close the door behind me. He quickly takes off his shoes and coat before heading toward the living room, as I tell him to, sitting down on the couch.
« Do you want something ? Like coffee ? » I ask.
« No thanks. Actually, I came to talk about something special with you… »
About something special ? I just walk toward him and sit down too, innerly frowning. He doesn’t wait long before speaking again.
« Since when has it been like this ? » he asks suddenly.
I frown. « Like what ? »
« Between Nino and you, I mean… »
My heart suddenly comes to a stop.
…
…
So he knew ?
« What… What do you mean ? »
He sighs, not annoyed, but it seems like he doesn’t really want to say it. Or he’s embarrassed.
« I heard you, yesterday. I was in a locked cubicle hiding. Nino didn’t see me, and I was actually hiding because there was the Prime Minister and a woman I didn’t recognize doing the exactly same thing a minute before he arrived, but anyway… I heard… And saw… Everything. »
I’m speechless. My heart is beating terribly fast, my hands are shaking. He turns his eyes toward me, waiting for me to say something, but I can’t… There’s nothing. My mind is completely blank.
« Say something ! » he complains. « How long has it been ? »
« Huh, I don’t know…. Maybe ten days… »
« Why ? »
It seems so hard to understand for him… To admit that his husband cheated on him behind his back. With someone he thought was his friend. I’d rather him yelling at me.
I don’t answer. But he wants to know…
« Do you love him ? Kazu ? »
I wonder. Do I love Kazu ?
« I do… »
« And you love Sakurai-san ? »
Same question. Do I love Sho ?
« I do too. »
He sighs, like desperate.
« Then, why ? Tell me ! At least I can be aware of why you slept with Kazu… »
Of course he can. He’s right.
« Because I needed someone… Nino was here, and Sho wasn’t » I say calmly. I guess that’s the real reason. « Masaki-kun, I’m sorry » I add then. « I’ll do whatever you want me to… »
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. But I feel so ashamed, and guilty, and confused, embarrassed, sad… None of the people I have hurt deserved it. Especially not Masaki.
He gets up. « I want you to tell Sakurai-san about it. Tonight… And then, we’ll have a proper discussion. »
Tell Sho ?!
Oh no… No, no, no… He’ll yell at me, he’ll be mad, saying that he wants me to leave this house. Sho doesn’t love me. If he happens to know that I cheated on him, he won’t forgive me… I have nowhere to go. Jun will close his door on my face, saying I deserved it all… Which is true….
Masaki doesn’t seem aware of all the feelings battling inside of me right now. He just gets up and leave without another word.
-------------------
A/N: I'm really really reeeeaaally sorry for the delay u_u
There was some kind of confusion between Hotaru and me...
Next chap won't be that late... T_T
As an apology, here!
There's no particular reason for this photo... Just that I love it =D Nino has a weird face, Aiba is the victim and Oh-chan is so damn cute <3
Next chapter is the last one... It's a really long chap, I wrote 10 pages, I think... It means about 5400 words XD
Thanks for all your comments, as always <3
Author: Moko
Pairing: Ohmiya, Yama, slight Aimiya
Rating: R-ish... I guess
Genre: AU, drama, romance...
Disclaimer: The story comes from my brain...?
Beta-ed by bluemonstar ! Love you dear ♥!
Summary: When Ohno has to get married, his long relationship with Nino comes to an end against his wish. But 3 years later, Nino suddenly reappears in his life.
Notes: Ohno's POV
I'm really sorry for the delay... Woo, it's been more than a week O_O
Chapterlist
Chapter 8:
I hate finding myself in that kind of situation. And it’s not the first time. And this time it’s even worst.
« Satoshi ? Are you alright ? »
I come back to my senses thanks to Sho’s voice near my ear. I was lost deeply in my thoughts, trying to avoid looking at any of those two who are standing in front of me. Who are they ? But the Ninomiya couple, of course !
I feel like collapsing, right now.
« Yeah… I’m… just… fine… » I answer with a trembling voice.
« You’re really pale… »
I’m thankful to Sho for being worried, but it’s absolutely not the right time and place. Especially with all these people gathered around us. They’re all waiting for the casting of Jun’s new movie to appear, with the producer. The movie had ended about thirty minutes ago. Maybe at that moment, I’ll be able to escape somewhere. Alone. With a glass of alcohol.
« The food at your parents’ restaurant was really delicious, Ninomiya-san » Sho says, resuming to the conversation they were having.
« Oh, thank you ! » Masaki smiles cheerfully. « I’ll tell them, they’ll be so glad ! »
« Are you going to inherit the restaurant ? »
« Yeah, when my father decides it’s time for me to do so… But he doesn’t seem to be wanting to hand me the responsibilities yet, so I’m waiting… Kazunari is the one who’ll officially inherit it though… But Kazu’s so nice, he said he’ll help me with the cooking. Right ? »
Masaki seems so excited each time he talks about the restaurant of his parents. He turns his head toward Kazu, who smiles back at him.
« Of course. If I let you do, the restaurant will burn down… » Kazu answers mockingly.
« You won’t hire a chef ? » Sho raises his eyebrows, a bit confused.
Masaki frowns at the idea. « My father would be so angry. For him, hiring a chef is like losing the pride of our family, he says. »
« Oh… »
« Mainly since our restaurant has became so well-known because of our family’s skills, so that’s why… »
Masaki is wearing his usual grey suit, just like me. The problem is, he’s almost a head taller than Nino, who’s in black. There’s something weird about this marriage. Shouldn’t Nino be an Aiba ?
I want to escape from here. That’s when I notice Sho’s glass is empty. So I get closer to him to take it from his hand. Even though I’m not really comfortable with it, being close publicly seems normal, since we’re supposed to be the perfect couple, aren’t we ?
When Sho notices me, his arm comes around my waist.
« Satoshi, you don’t have to… » he says, looking embarrassed.
« It’s okay, I’ll bring you another one. I want one too… » I say with a forced smile.
He holds me tighter, as if asking me if I’m really sure. Is he really concerned or he’s just acting ? I guess it’s both.
Then, I turn towards Masaki and Nino, and I notice that scary fake smile on Nino’s face. I’ve seen it so many times already in the past, that I perfectly know what it means. Three years earlier, I would have watched my steps carefully, because he would have been able to push me against a wall, in a hallway, and punish me for being so bold without worrying about other people seeing us. Now, I can’t allow it. And his jealousy isn’t justified since Sho’s my husband.
So, I leave them, taking the direction of the bar. Anywhere is fine ! Just let me be alone for a moment. So I sit there and think. I think about my debts… Well, not really mine, but still mine. I’m the one in trouble because of my father. What did my uncle say ? ‘Your mother can yell and cry as much as she wants’. So she really hates me… Is it because of me cutting bonds with them and leaving them ? In the end, what they had wanted when they gave me away for didn’t happen. I didn’t help them financially. I just became Sho’s useless toy. The brilliant, smart, and respected Sakurai Sho. I don’t want to be well-known. I just want someone who could get everyone’s attention away from me. And Sho do. Sho let me hide behind his back, he let me walk in his shadow, and somehow, I think that’s why I can’t make myself think about leaving.
« The restroom… »
I start so hard that I have to put my hand on my mouth to avoid yelling. I turn round to see Kazu’s smirking face just inches away from mine.
« Now… » he says softly. « Come… »
I shouldn’t. I really really shouldn’t do that, but I can’t resist. So when Nino walks away, I wait a bit before following him. I know where he’s going. And I know what he’s about to do.
When I arrive in the restroom, he has his back leaned against the back wall. I start to check to see if there’s anyone here, but he stops me.
« There’s no one » he says, staring at me with a half pout, half smirk.
The door’s closed. Just for safety measures, I lock it.
« Kazu, I’m not staying here » I warn him, fearing that Sho might want to look for me.
« Sakurai is with the Prime Minister, so we have time » he crosses his arms on his chest.
« What about Masaki-kun ? »
He frowns. « Masaki’s with his brother. He left just after you did. You stayed there for thirty minutes, you know… »
Oh, really ? I thought only five minutes had passed while I was lost in thoughts. I’d better go back. Sho will get suspicious…
« Oh no, you’re not leaving » Kazu threatens with a creepy voice that send chills down my spine. « You know I’m getting horny when I’m jealous, so now you’d better finish me off, ‘cause I’m more than aroused, right now ! »
I gulp. There’s times like that when I hate him so much. He’d better not touch me. But I have to admit that I can clearly see he’s not lying.
So I just get closer to him, walking quickly, then I kiss him straight. He doesn’t protest, just smile in the kiss, thinking he won. But I won’t let him. He can’t control me that easily.
While our lips are stuck together, I feel his little hands under my shirt. And he teases my skin, making me shiver, deepening the kiss at the same time. I won’t loose.
My hands run down his chest, touching each button of his shirt as if I was about to undo it, but in the end I don’t. He let out a low whimper to protest. I gasp when he suddenly pinches my hip hard, nuzzling my face in his neck. I whine against his skin when I feel his fingers gliding up my back.
Satoshi, wake up !
I grab the button of his pants to undo it, and he stops teasing me, maybe waiting. When I’m done with the zipper, I slip my hand in his underwear and he smirks. I look at him straight in the eyes for a second, before looking down, then kneeling. He frowns.
So I give him a blowjob here. And I’m surprised that he doesn’t even try to complain. He moans like mad, letting me do it by myself at first. But then, he grabs my hair, and in the end, he’s the one riding. After all, I didn’t feel as if I won anything, but well… He used me again, I’m just his toy right now. Weird, because I’m not supposed to be his, and the worse is, I wouldn’t have done this even to my owner.
When we’re finished, Kazu lets himself slip down the wall, like exhausted. I remain crouched down in front of him, wiping my lips and he smirks. I lean in to give him a peck.
« You must think that you won something, but fucking your so damn perfect lips was exactly what I wanted » he says mockingly, taking my hand in his.
I pull away.
« I hate you » I answer like a whisper, making his smirk widen.
« I guess no matter how many years will pass, you’ll never change… »
I nod with a little smile. « You’d better get your pants on. »
He sighs, then gets up with a pout and do what I said. I get up too, ready to go. But I don’t feel like leaving him now. So I just step closer, one of my hand comes stroking his cheek and he looks at me in the eyes.
« Toshi ? » he asks with a strange voice. I know this tone. When Kazu talks like that, he seems like a little child who lost his way, and I’m unable to resist it.
« Hmm ? »
« Are you scared ? That… Sakurai might discover… »
I kiss him, feeling his hands on my arms, cupping his face. But it’s not a long kiss.
« I don’t know… » I answer then.
I’m scared of losing Kazu, yeah. But somehow, I feel so selfish. Because I’m scared of losing Sho too. So damn scared.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes I wonder… Is it because my life is so boring that I’m not putting an end to this relationship with Nino ?
Yesterday, when we came back in the crowded room, Sho was still with the Prime Minister, but Jun was there too. I walked towards them first while Nino went to look for Masaki. Maybe Masaki wasn’t fine, because I didn’t see him again that night. I looked for him while the others were talking, but he was nowhere to be seen.
I’m at home, as always, at night. Watching TV while drawing some random stuff. My mother was encouraging me to do art before… But now I guess she won’t care.
There’s images of the Ninomiya Minister on TV. For a moment, I consider turning it off, but the remote is too far…
Then, my phone rings. I see it lighting on the table, and it make me realize how dark the room now is.
« Yes ? »
« Are you Ohno Satoshi ? »
I don’t know this voice. I didn’t even check who was calling before answering, but I guess it’s an unknown number.
It’s been three years since I left the Ohno family, but it doesn’t matter…
« Yeah… »
« We heard that Ohno died, it seems like you’re his heir. »
That voice is so cold and creepy… And mocking at the same time. My misery seems entertaining for that guy, I guess.
And ‘we’ ?
« I am… » I answer, faltering.
I can hear him smirking at the other side of the line.
« It’s time to pay for his debts, now… »
Oh, so that’s it ! I should have figured this out before ! He must be one of the people my father owes money to… I guess they’re some kind of Yakuza or something… Wait ! I feel a shiver run through my entire body.
« I… Can’t pay now… »
« You’d better do it » he answers straight.
I remain silent for a minute, then…
« What if… What if I don’t… Pay… ? »
I really shouldn’t have asked. The guy remain silent a moment, even though I’m sure he perfectly knows the answer already. And I know it too.
« You have a sister, don’t you ? »
No, not that !
I don’t say a thing.
« A woman is almost too easy… What about her and your mother ? And your sister’s child ? I bet you don’t care about her husband… »
All of that just for money ? But well, it’s a huge amount. I don’t even want to say it. And I don’t really know what it is about… Kidnapping ? Torture ? Murder ?
« Please, give me some time… A month… Maybe two… » I say. My voice turned pleading against my wish.
« A week. You have a week. »
« Did you make someone kill my father ? » I ask suddenly, because that question flashed through my mind.
I actually don’t want to know the answer. They killed him because he wouldn’t pay, in order to make me inherit of his debts and force me to pay it, because I was more likely to do it. I guess…
« Your father remained unsensitive at whatever we could threaten him with, especially when it came to you, saying he didn’t care. He paid it. »
When it came to me ?
Then, the guy repeats that I have a week and hang up.
I can’t move. I can’t breath. The fear slowly takes the upper hand on me, and I can’t fight it. I don’t… I…
I wrap my arms around my own body as if I’m about to break, which isn’t far from the truth. But at least, not physically.
Maybe an hour later, when Sho comes back home, he finds me in the same position. I hear him walking toward me. My face is hidden against my knees, so I can’t really see, but he walks slowly, and when he arrives near me, I hear him kneeling down. Maybe he’s worried. But he doesn’t touch me.
« Satoshi… ? »
I don’t answer. I can’t. I can’t look at him in that state, or he’ll see how much weak I am. But Sho doesn’t deserve all this.
« Are you okay ? »
Then, I finally feel his hand on my shoulder, and I can’t hold myself any longer. I lift my head up to stare at his face. My cheeks are wet, though I don’t remember crying. So after a minute, I look away, wiping my face, then my eyes fall back on him. I never saw him that much worried, and it’s not an act.
« Do they really hate me ? » I ask with a weak voice, making him look even more worried.
« Who ? »
He gets closer to me and his arm is now around my shoulders. I wipe my face again.
« My parents » I say.
I don’t hear what my own voice when I talk, and I wonder how he manages to understand what I’m telling him.
« Do they really hate me ? » I repeat.
His expression softens. Seeing that, I let my head rest against his neck, everything is confused in my head, right now. Sho holds me, one of his arm around my shoulders, his other hand on my back.
« Nobody hates you, Satoshi » he says. I bury my face in his shirt, feeling tears coming back to my eyes again. « I guess, your mother got confused because of your father’s death, that’s all… You’re still her child, how can she possibly hate you ? »
He holds me a bit tighter and I wrap my arms around his chest. I don’t deserve Sho’s kindness. I don’t deserve it at all.
« Why are you saying that ? » he asks hesitantly.
But he knows I won’t answer. What can I answer with anyway ? Because of some kind of yakuza threatening me, saying that my dad didn’t mind bad people doing bad things to me… If I say that, he’ll know I have debts, and he’ll want to help me. I don’t want him to help me. I have no rights over Sho’s money… I don’t deserve Sho’s concern.
For the first time in a while, I feel Sho’s lips on top of my head. And that’s when an awful thought come to my mind. What if Sho already knew ? What if he had discover ?
I don’t want him to leave me. What do I want, then ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after, I’m too ashamed to see Sho before he leaves for work. But I know he’s still worried. He even checks on me to see if I’m not sick, putting his hand on my forehead. But I keep pretending as if I was sleeping. Because I don’t want him to know how much ashamed of myself I am.
I get up about twenty minutes after he left. I immediately take a long shower, then consider eating a breakfast, but I’m not hungry. I’ve not been eating much these times, and I know it’s unusual… Because I’m the type of person who’ll eat a lot.
Just when I close the cupboard, trying to decide on something to eat in vain, the bell rings. I go open the door, and I’m taken aback to see Masaki standing outside. He grins at me.
« Masaki-kun ! What a nice surprise… » I say, I’m happy to see him, even though it reminds me of my own shame.
« Hi, Satoshi-san ! Friends can come even when they’re not expected, right ? »
« Of course, come in… »
I let him enter, then close the door behind me. He quickly takes off his shoes and coat before heading toward the living room, as I tell him to, sitting down on the couch.
« Do you want something ? Like coffee ? » I ask.
« No thanks. Actually, I came to talk about something special with you… »
About something special ? I just walk toward him and sit down too, innerly frowning. He doesn’t wait long before speaking again.
« Since when has it been like this ? » he asks suddenly.
I frown. « Like what ? »
« Between Nino and you, I mean… »
My heart suddenly comes to a stop.
…
…
So he knew ?
« What… What do you mean ? »
He sighs, not annoyed, but it seems like he doesn’t really want to say it. Or he’s embarrassed.
« I heard you, yesterday. I was in a locked cubicle hiding. Nino didn’t see me, and I was actually hiding because there was the Prime Minister and a woman I didn’t recognize doing the exactly same thing a minute before he arrived, but anyway… I heard… And saw… Everything. »
I’m speechless. My heart is beating terribly fast, my hands are shaking. He turns his eyes toward me, waiting for me to say something, but I can’t… There’s nothing. My mind is completely blank.
« Say something ! » he complains. « How long has it been ? »
« Huh, I don’t know…. Maybe ten days… »
« Why ? »
It seems so hard to understand for him… To admit that his husband cheated on him behind his back. With someone he thought was his friend. I’d rather him yelling at me.
I don’t answer. But he wants to know…
« Do you love him ? Kazu ? »
I wonder. Do I love Kazu ?
« I do… »
« And you love Sakurai-san ? »
Same question. Do I love Sho ?
« I do too. »
He sighs, like desperate.
« Then, why ? Tell me ! At least I can be aware of why you slept with Kazu… »
Of course he can. He’s right.
« Because I needed someone… Nino was here, and Sho wasn’t » I say calmly. I guess that’s the real reason. « Masaki-kun, I’m sorry » I add then. « I’ll do whatever you want me to… »
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. But I feel so ashamed, and guilty, and confused, embarrassed, sad… None of the people I have hurt deserved it. Especially not Masaki.
He gets up. « I want you to tell Sakurai-san about it. Tonight… And then, we’ll have a proper discussion. »
Tell Sho ?!
Oh no… No, no, no… He’ll yell at me, he’ll be mad, saying that he wants me to leave this house. Sho doesn’t love me. If he happens to know that I cheated on him, he won’t forgive me… I have nowhere to go. Jun will close his door on my face, saying I deserved it all… Which is true….
Masaki doesn’t seem aware of all the feelings battling inside of me right now. He just gets up and leave without another word.
-------------------
A/N: I'm really really reeeeaaally sorry for the delay u_u
There was some kind of confusion between Hotaru and me...
Next chap won't be that late... T_T
As an apology, here!
There's no particular reason for this photo... Just that I love it =D Nino has a weird face, Aiba is the victim and Oh-chan is so damn cute <3
Next chapter is the last one... It's a really long chap, I wrote 10 pages, I think... It means about 5400 words XD
Thanks for all your comments, as always <3