(no subject)
So I was sitting here thinking about calling you. Im in a whole other world right now but its cool. Im putting blame on that for thinking about. No I cant do that it just has me thinking of you on other levels. I think I made a really big mistake by leaving you. I suppose I have some problems when it comes to this kind of thing. You dont know what you have till its gone. I wanted it back lastnight. I think maybe I had some issues with my mom but we're ok we at least talk now.
It also felt great to see you tonight, maybe thing do happen for a reason. Like a back story, I mean what if you dont know what you have till its gone. Gone is not having and we dont have it right now. But I do want it. Im not real good with emotions and stuff and my views tend to run together everynow and then. Maybe I made myself subconsciously feel like I do about mother as I do you. You told me if this were to ever happen youd never have me again. Thats what made me update this thing. I dont really have anyone to talk to like I did you. I mean you were my best friend, no you are my best friend. Well that doesnt sound as good as it should, Isnt it suppose to be a good thing to have a best friend. I suppose it is a good thing but I would like so so much more.
It shouldnt be like this, Im 23, I think I should know myself better than this. How close we got and the commitment we had was intense. Im gonna have a mental breakdown if I keep thinking time to go get sucked into a video game to put my mind to rest for a while.
I'll tell you what really gets me, I try not to think about you all day so I dont get down but everytime I move something in my room and my car I find something you gave or wrote me. I messed up. I miss you and yet Ive seen you and its been no time, but still I miss you.
Last night before bed I ask for some understanding about us. I had a thought before I did that about stuff that most people would call me crazy. So I ask. I had a dream about us that night also you were in it with me. It was a good dream even though I dont remember,I know because I woke up happy this morning until I rolled over and saw your face then after that Libby called because she was hanging out with you, I wasnt doing anything and I really wanted to come. Funny because its my fault that I couldnt be.
but Im fine.
It also felt great to see you tonight, maybe thing do happen for a reason. Like a back story, I mean what if you dont know what you have till its gone. Gone is not having and we dont have it right now. But I do want it. Im not real good with emotions and stuff and my views tend to run together everynow and then. Maybe I made myself subconsciously feel like I do about mother as I do you. You told me if this were to ever happen youd never have me again. Thats what made me update this thing. I dont really have anyone to talk to like I did you. I mean you were my best friend, no you are my best friend. Well that doesnt sound as good as it should, Isnt it suppose to be a good thing to have a best friend. I suppose it is a good thing but I would like so so much more.
It shouldnt be like this, Im 23, I think I should know myself better than this. How close we got and the commitment we had was intense. Im gonna have a mental breakdown if I keep thinking time to go get sucked into a video game to put my mind to rest for a while.
I'll tell you what really gets me, I try not to think about you all day so I dont get down but everytime I move something in my room and my car I find something you gave or wrote me. I messed up. I miss you and yet Ive seen you and its been no time, but still I miss you.
Last night before bed I ask for some understanding about us. I had a thought before I did that about stuff that most people would call me crazy. So I ask. I had a dream about us that night also you were in it with me. It was a good dream even though I dont remember,I know because I woke up happy this morning until I rolled over and saw your face then after that Libby called because she was hanging out with you, I wasnt doing anything and I really wanted to come. Funny because its my fault that I couldnt be.
but Im fine.