Dead Cars N Dirt
"This is where cars come to die"
"And strippers I responded"
We were on Montana street driving out of El Paso. We had been headed straight on the same street since we left the airport. The scenary refused to change. Junkyard, Strip Club, Desert, Porn Shop, Junkyard, Porn Shop, Desert, Strip Club on and on into the tumbleweeds and beyond. There was 50 of us on the bus. We'd already been told that most of us didn't have what it takes. Most of us wouldn't graduate the academy. Most of us were just wasting our time. But here we were wasting our time on a bus to nowhere.
After a 2 1/2 hour ride through the desert we arrived at the academy. Any illusions we had were shattered immediately. The bus doors opened and a tall
muscle bound creature bounded on board screaming, "You worthless maggots get your asses off my bus! What in the fuck are you waiting for, get the fuck off
my bus! I know I'm the bet looking thing you've ever seen but don't you dare eyeball fuck me!"
We made a mad dash into the cold night air. Outside we were greated by a pudgy gargoyle who demanded that we form ranks. We fell in, in three rows. For the next hour and thirty minutes we were reminded of just how stupid we are. We were berated, belittled and besieged. Left Face March. My ears went numb. Right Face March. My fingers went numb. About Face. My nose and toes were also gone. On and on we went.
"You have got to be the sorriest sacks of shit ever deposited on my doorstep!"
"Look at this one, he's only here because his momma can't afford to feed his fat ass!"
"Look at her, the boys will love her, all that fat will keep there tiny peckers warm!"
It was now a team effort. The tall one, the gargoyle and the puerto rican.
We learned the rules quickly. Stay off the bosses grass. YES SIR! Eyes straight ahead unless an instructor stepped in front of you, then eyes forward but slightly downcast. YES SIR! Don't touch the bosses rocks. YES SIR! Back straight, heels together. YES SIR Shoulder to shoulder or toes to heels. Get to know your neighbor. YES SIR!
Finally we were directed inside and assigned lodging. Then it was back outside where all our possessions were unceremoniously tossed from the bus. We were given two minutes to find our room, deposit or bags and return to formation. Our class scrambled. We ran over and under each other. I broke a sweat, the temperature was 16.