(no subject)
hell redefined
We walked white painted lines with no sound but the chattering of
our minds. Our thoughts drift to regret of old times. The "if
only's" could have defined what's mine.
Sadly, we put ourselves in this hollow grave. We're confined in
the design of our brain's cave. Sunday's, signs of all the people we've betrayed. No amount of therapy can begin to align.
This place is truly my prison. The nightmares that come along with it force my head to spin. Waking up is just a nice way of saying i'm wearing thin. Living inside has declined to living within.
The difference seems negligent to my brother's and sister's. That
is just another one of life's blisters. It is not the problem of calling an evil man mister. It is not the issue of watching a misses kiss another.
It is the image of my hell clear as day in my head. It is the not knowing if i can survive what lies ahead. It is the absense of my youth, and that little girl being held. These things don't compare
to any blood i've ever shed.
We walked white painted lines. We waited desperately for an answer to resign. Thoughts never leave the minds of our kind.
This is the story of how my definition of hell was redefined
dear dad,
you have accomplished plenty in your life- I understand that much. I complement you for saving hundreds of lives and making thousands of dollars. I, however, condemn you for snorting hundreds of pain killers and finishing thousands of drinks filled with your choice of vodka. I have been trying to make sense of my life since you left me on May 21st, 2005. I have wondered if this world is just filled with useless entities. Something’s who repeat the mistakes that they indirectly inherited and those something’s who choose to make a change in the pattern. Something’s who I can refer to as human beings without wanting to climb inside my own body every time I say it. I unfortunately am not a part of the 15% of kids with alcoholic/drug addict parents who chose to rebel against the statistics. No, I have already chosen to make countless mistakes in the short 17 years I’ve been on this earth.