In pursuit of a good mood.
Topics contained herein:
My husband demonstrates his capable-ness. I become detemined to catch up with him. I am finishing a course of antibiotics.
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I have to go from drained and muzzy to moderately manic within the next 6 hours. Okay, "I have to" is stronger than I want ... "I'd like to" might be a better choice of words.
A) I'm tired of being tired and ineffective ... we all know that.
B) My husband's mood is emphasizing my dissatisfaction with the me I'm living inside right now.
I know I should be grateful that my depression lifted and my physical complaints faded to manageable. I am grateful because things could certainly be much worse. I'm having trouble explaining my lack of motivation to myself, let alone to anyone else. Life is quickly and genuinely getting better. It's just time to bounce up and out of the sludginess of my behaviors. And the weather should be helping. So what sent me back to bed this morning after I got Ch-- off to school? Why did I chose to resist, yet again, an opportunity to have a full, busy, productive day? I'll be taking my last dose of antibiotics today. Maybe I can just blame it on that and move on.
Last night was a trip. I stayed up until about midnight (a little more than an hour later than R--) because I wanted to write a putterings and capture some of my husband's behavior. Upstairs, as I was straightening out my blankets, R-- woke. He actually sat up in bed in order to talk to me. He started flirting and petting on me. One thing led to another and more than an hour later we were both quite satisfied people. Usually, that would mean R--, feeling relaxed and content, would fall asleep relatively quickly while stroking my shoulder. In contrast, such an encounter would normally leave me feeling energized. I'd get talkative. Sometimes I'd even get back out of bed to putter around some more. That's not the way it went last night. We spoke on a dozen topics. We decided to name our technological "babies" after the moons of the universe. After much active *engaging on his part, he admitted he had to get up. (Yes. He told me he was enjoying engaging me when I questioned him.) He tucked me in, told me to sleep fast and promised to take me to McDonald's for bagel sandwiches before work. He left the room somewhere around 3:00.
He woke me at 7am, fresh from a shower. He brought me a cold soda and coaxed me out of bed. I threw on some clothes and followed him downstairs. As I came to consciousness, I realized he'd done dishes again ... all of them this time, including the flatware and the pots and pans. In the wee hours, he pulled a good sound-card out of Frankenputer and installed it into his machine. He made a pile of papers and scraps that I gathered yesterday disappear. I don't know what else he accomplished but his mood was still upbeat and happy. We spoke about him staying home from work but, after reviewing some guidelines about appropriate workplace behavior, we decided to let him go write several days worth of code in an afternoon.
There was an hour long break just now because Mz K-- phoned. She's a little bit up there too. I've suggested that we all get together tonight. I'm going to finish this up, set many consecutive 15 minute timers and work on the next little bit list while listening to loud, fast, familiar music, until 4:30. Then I'm going to take a shower and head into town. I'll meet up with my buddies and get on with feeling better.
My husband demonstrates his capable-ness. I become detemined to catch up with him. I am finishing a course of antibiotics.
----------*****----------
I have to go from drained and muzzy to moderately manic within the next 6 hours. Okay, "I have to" is stronger than I want ... "I'd like to" might be a better choice of words.
A) I'm tired of being tired and ineffective ... we all know that.
B) My husband's mood is emphasizing my dissatisfaction with the me I'm living inside right now.
I know I should be grateful that my depression lifted and my physical complaints faded to manageable. I am grateful because things could certainly be much worse. I'm having trouble explaining my lack of motivation to myself, let alone to anyone else. Life is quickly and genuinely getting better. It's just time to bounce up and out of the sludginess of my behaviors. And the weather should be helping. So what sent me back to bed this morning after I got Ch-- off to school? Why did I chose to resist, yet again, an opportunity to have a full, busy, productive day? I'll be taking my last dose of antibiotics today. Maybe I can just blame it on that and move on.
Last night was a trip. I stayed up until about midnight (a little more than an hour later than R--) because I wanted to write a putterings and capture some of my husband's behavior. Upstairs, as I was straightening out my blankets, R-- woke. He actually sat up in bed in order to talk to me. He started flirting and petting on me. One thing led to another and more than an hour later we were both quite satisfied people. Usually, that would mean R--, feeling relaxed and content, would fall asleep relatively quickly while stroking my shoulder. In contrast, such an encounter would normally leave me feeling energized. I'd get talkative. Sometimes I'd even get back out of bed to putter around some more. That's not the way it went last night. We spoke on a dozen topics. We decided to name our technological "babies" after the moons of the universe. After much active *engaging on his part, he admitted he had to get up. (Yes. He told me he was enjoying engaging me when I questioned him.) He tucked me in, told me to sleep fast and promised to take me to McDonald's for bagel sandwiches before work. He left the room somewhere around 3:00.
He woke me at 7am, fresh from a shower. He brought me a cold soda and coaxed me out of bed. I threw on some clothes and followed him downstairs. As I came to consciousness, I realized he'd done dishes again ... all of them this time, including the flatware and the pots and pans. In the wee hours, he pulled a good sound-card out of Frankenputer and installed it into his machine. He made a pile of papers and scraps that I gathered yesterday disappear. I don't know what else he accomplished but his mood was still upbeat and happy. We spoke about him staying home from work but, after reviewing some guidelines about appropriate workplace behavior, we decided to let him go write several days worth of code in an afternoon.
There was an hour long break just now because Mz K-- phoned. She's a little bit up there too. I've suggested that we all get together tonight. I'm going to finish this up, set many consecutive 15 minute timers and work on the next little bit list while listening to loud, fast, familiar music, until 4:30. Then I'm going to take a shower and head into town. I'll meet up with my buddies and get on with feeling better.