(no subject)
It's the birthday of May Sarton.
- she wrote, "There were moments ... when it seemed that all one could be asked was just to keep the ashtrays clean, the bed made, the wastebaskets emptied, as if one never got to the real things because of the constant exhausting battle to keep ordinary life from falling apart."
... poet and essayist, novelist, born in Belgium in the village of Wondelgem in 1912. Her family fled the country during World War I. She grew up in Massachusetts, but settled in New York City. She wanted to become an actress, and she spent eight years during the Great Depression before her theater company went out of business. She said, "After my theater failed, I never looked back. It was like a fever out of my system. The theater is an angel with feet tied to bags of gold. You can't move without money. It's much better to be a writer. You just need a room."
In the same year her theater shut down, she published her first book of poems, Encounter in April (1937).
She went on to write many more books of poems, and many novels. None of the books sold especially well. She struggled to pay the bills. In her novel Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing , (1965) she wrote, "There were moments ... when it seemed that all one could be asked was just to keep the ashtrays clean, the bed made, the wastebaskets emptied, as if one never got to the real things because of the constant exhausting battle to keep ordinary life from falling apart."
That novel, Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, tells the story of an elderly lesbian poet looking back on her life, and it was May Sarton's way of announcing her sexuality to the world. Around the same time, the mid '60s, she also began publishing her journals, writing about her daily routines, what she called "the sacramentalization of ordinary life."
And though she didn't get much critical attention, she began to develop a large following. She'd go off to read her poetry at colleges, and when she showed up, the rooms were packed and she got standing ovations.
In the last 15 years of her life, she published a series of journals about aging: At Seventy and After the Stroke. May Sarton, who said, "If I were in solitary confinement, I'd never write another novel and probably not keep a journal, but I'd write poetry because poems, you see, are between God and me." She said, "My cat likes to go out at one in the morning, so I have to let him out. And at two he meows to come in. [During that time] I make notes for poems. And then in the morning, when I'm all there, as much as I ever am, I work at them. I would not still be a poet without the cat."
A while back, demonhaunted asked me "What do you mean [you feel] humbled, especially in regards to literature?" Reading about Ms. Sarton reminded me of that conversation. Becoming part of livejournal has challenged me to grow ... to expand my perceptions and my tastes. Happenstance leads me to the journals of people I would never meet in my world. Such people write about books and theories I've never heard of. My packrat nature encourages me to look more closely at some of the resources I already had. (Because I now have a good place to keep track of them ... and because someone might come along and provide additional information.) All of this is wonderful, of course. I'm getting what I'd hoped for from this journal and more. Still, I feel a bit overwhelmed. How can I even begin to process all this new information? One of my most basic character flaws is that I tend to follow any interesting detour I find. (Just take a look at my interests section ... sheesh.)
To me, literature, self-examination and creation are the "real things" Ms. Sarton references above. Problems:
- I can't think straight if my environment is screaming disorder and neglect. Thus I am driven to make my physical world attractive and welcoming.
- I seem incapable of focusing on any set of pursuits. Just call me Jack. I believe I could be a very good witch ... or a very good writer ... or a very good environmentalist ... etc. If I would only commit.
Anyway. Ch-- is home from school and "the constant exhausting battle to keep ordinary life from falling apart" is calling.
I need to become sickeningly wealthy so that I can hire a staff. I'd probably set up a foundation instead tho'. Again ... sheesh.