this is the part where i wake up
i was facebooking my general highschool grad class out of nostalgia and i see page after page of memories, moments, life, flashing before me. i see my chances of getting the alumni service corps position just dropping away. part of me is glad too. thats the sick part. somereason i want this, bad. and yet, some reason, i could give not a shite about the whole thing; i am, in fact, acctually disgusted at myself for even thinking about applying. but i want it nevertheless. why!? what the fir tree? why am i competing with people that i know will get it for sheer tool-ocity, and why does that bother me?