break
things i want to remember about thanksgiving break:
on the plane ride home realizing how beautiful flying at night can be. I was looking down and it was all dark with scattered veins of lights and it looked amazing like a human body except there wasn't a single central location just strands of light bringing...i can't think of the right word. bringing light but it was also civilization and communication and humanity and i dont know it was bringing contact but it wasn't centralized. then of course as i looked out the window i turned introspective and made up parallels with my own mind and that connection on the ground. and everything i saw i was barrelling by so i had to absorb it fast.
feeling so strange to be home. tufts has been my home for a while, and my friends have took the place of family, in what i think is a positive way. the whole day on wednesday i felt out of place and detatched, but then beau came over and picked me up and we talked and it felt natural again. now it feels good to be home i love florida i love st. petersburg for the people, but more for the actual place itself.
thanksgiving feeling adult instead of adolescent. and going through the sign in book our family has every year and looking at my signature and how it has changed since senior year, and junior, and farther back all the way through middle school and earlier. i think the youngest was when i was 5. thanksgiving is a constant i can hold different versions of myself up to and see the difference. I played with my little cousins so much because i haven't played with children in 3 months and i miss it. we played tag and kickball and the game where i flip my five year old cousin upside down and she giggles and giggles.
FEELING THE SUN. and seeing matt and remembering how good it feels to be bare skinned.
Driving with Beau in the mountaineer or whatever its name is and feeling really good about myself. and coming to the realization (although i really have felt it for a while) that i truly like myself. not in the sense it could be misconstrued as, not in comparison to others. i just enjoy my moods and thoughts, and i like the person i am.
i might write more later. i am content.
on the plane ride home realizing how beautiful flying at night can be. I was looking down and it was all dark with scattered veins of lights and it looked amazing like a human body except there wasn't a single central location just strands of light bringing...i can't think of the right word. bringing light but it was also civilization and communication and humanity and i dont know it was bringing contact but it wasn't centralized. then of course as i looked out the window i turned introspective and made up parallels with my own mind and that connection on the ground. and everything i saw i was barrelling by so i had to absorb it fast.
feeling so strange to be home. tufts has been my home for a while, and my friends have took the place of family, in what i think is a positive way. the whole day on wednesday i felt out of place and detatched, but then beau came over and picked me up and we talked and it felt natural again. now it feels good to be home i love florida i love st. petersburg for the people, but more for the actual place itself.
thanksgiving feeling adult instead of adolescent. and going through the sign in book our family has every year and looking at my signature and how it has changed since senior year, and junior, and farther back all the way through middle school and earlier. i think the youngest was when i was 5. thanksgiving is a constant i can hold different versions of myself up to and see the difference. I played with my little cousins so much because i haven't played with children in 3 months and i miss it. we played tag and kickball and the game where i flip my five year old cousin upside down and she giggles and giggles.
FEELING THE SUN. and seeing matt and remembering how good it feels to be bare skinned.
Driving with Beau in the mountaineer or whatever its name is and feeling really good about myself. and coming to the realization (although i really have felt it for a while) that i truly like myself. not in the sense it could be misconstrued as, not in comparison to others. i just enjoy my moods and thoughts, and i like the person i am.
i might write more later. i am content.