Oneshot; KyoxGara
Title: Bittersweet
Bands: Dir en grey, Merry, MUCC & the studs
Pairing: KyoxGara; TatsurouxDaisuke
Theme: #45. Strawberry (Check 50stories for details)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~3,200
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. I can’t even afford going to their concerts, damn it! *cries*
Summary: Gara picked a strawberry from the vial and put the deep red end of it to his mouth, biting gently into the fruit. He shot a sideways glance at Kyo, who was watching him with a keen interest. Up until then, Gara had had his doubts-and there were still many of them swimming in his head-but looking at Kyo right now helped him make up his mind.
This is to inspire you! (Or make you hungry, who knows. LOL)
XXX Bittersweet XXX
“It’s quite funny, actually.”
Gara looked up from where he was trying to get rid of a tiny rock that had gotten stuck between his toes, and stared at Kyo with a question in his eyes and a foot in his hands. He didn’t need to ask what the hell Kyo was talking about, though; because the blond was quick to elaborate on that sudden comment:
“That I’m getting older, but you’re getting prettier.”
Gara snorted. He was comfortable enough around the little vocalist to react naturally like that. “Feeling your age?”
Kyo didn’t answer right away; he was busy picking a strawberry and putting it together with the others in the basket at their feet. His careful moves were almost comical, Gara thought. “No. Just realizing that, while I look at the mirror and think ‘Dude, I’m 32!’, you look at it and sing, ‘Pretty Gara, walking down the street…’.”
This time, the vocalist of Merry laughed out loud. “Where did that come from?”
“You do know the movie, right?”
“And you know that’s not what I’m asking.”
Kyo shrugged, saying nothing; but there was a suspicious kind of spark in his eyes. He watched while Gara cleaned his hands on his white pants, stepped carefully on the ground and started choosing more strawberries.
They were in an open field, picking strawberries of all things. The idea had been Tatsurou’s, of course-the crazy vocalist was a few meters ahead of them, with Daisuke by his side. Now and then, Gara and Kyo would hear them laughing or good-naturally insulting one another-and kissing.
“I think…You could say life is like eating strawberries.”
Gara suppressed the snort that was certainly coming because of that. But he was glad that Kyo was talking, because then his mind wouldn’t have time to imagine what was not meant to be. “You’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, huh?”
“No, seriously. Eat one,” and there Kyo was, holding a strawberry to his lips.
“We’re supposed to take them home and-”
“Sure, because those two didn’t eat half of what they’ve picked already,” and he moved his head to indicate Tatsurou and Daisuke, though it was obvious he was referring to them.
Gara simply raised his eyebrows, but accepted the small fruit before Kyo could release the exasperated sigh that was certainly gathering air through his lungs. He took a bite, and chewed slowly as he stared curiously at Kyo, who had started explaining his previous remark:
“It feels bitter at times, but you have to be patient and wait for the sweet taste to come. If it’s not sweet at all, then it’s because it’s not ready yet. If it’s too sweet, then you’re just a lucky bastard.”
Gara was surprised to hear himself laughing again; it seemed that Kyo was in a very, very good mood-there was no other explanation for those philosophic thoughts he was letting out. Furthermore, Kyo was not an optimistic person-not as far as Gara knew.
Something might have happened to make him less bitter and more-talkative. Relaxed. Even though it was probably going to last for a couple of hours, seeing Kyo like that made the other vocalist’s heart a little lighter. Because Kyo, according to his own words, never relaxed.
“Gara?”
The younger one blinked once, and then looked at Kyo, who was on the way to-grinning mischievously, which would have been completely out of character, and probably put Tatsurou’s own mischievous grin to shame-for Kyo’s smirk was slightly more evil.
“You were looking intently at me-though I guess it was through me, actually, and you were frowning. What is it?”
Gara shook his head, both in a dismissive gesture and as an attempt to get rid of the thoughts running through his mind. It was neither the time nor the place to try and analyze Kyo’s behavior.
Then the little vocalist touched his forehead, right at the mentioned frown that had remained there, and-Gara frowned. That is, more.
“What’s gotten into you?” he couldn’t help asking, albeit not accusingly, because the puzzle was getting too complicated already. He didn’t like the feeling of confusion surging through him.
Kyo didn’t answer, however; they were doing that a lot-or, rather, not doing it, and it was unnerving for both. Gara realized that he missed Kyo’s touch when the older one drew back his fingers, though the other hand still offered him the rest of the strawberry.
“Do you want to know the rest of my theory?”
Gara sighed inwardly. Well. “Go on.”
But Kyo moved his hand slowly, as if telling him to take another bite. Gara rolled his eyes, but did it, feeling silly-yet warm, which was something he welcomed. Kyo put the remaining of the strawberry in his own mouth, and they stared at each other as they both chewed.
“You know that the strawberry is actually a multiple fruit, right?” Kyo said, after taking some time to lick his lips. “These brownish specks,” he picked another strawberry as if to make a point, “which people consider as seeds, are the true fruits.”
“So it’s like a bunch of fruits in one fruit,” Tatsurou said from behind him, and Kyo almost started, but was quick to recover from the other’s sudden appearance.
“You make it sound like bullshit,” Daisuke said, looking back and forth between Kyo and Gara, which made the latter raise a questioning eyebrow. Daisuke just shrugged, however, and Gara was left under the impression that his friend had just discovered something that he didn’t know.
“Well, I think it is bullshit,” Tatsurou was saying, whereas Kyo turned around to look at him as if he wasn’t worth a cent. “Why should it matter if it is a fruit or a huuuuuuuuge collection of fruits? My stomach doesn’t care,” and he shrugged disinterestedly, completely unaware of Gara’s warning look.
“I suppose you also think with lower parts of your body, then,” Kyo said calmly, matter-of-factly, and received a glare. Oh, but Tatsurou looked much more funny than frightening like that. It was no news that Dir en grey and MUCC’s vocalists had a grudge, no matter how childish it could be; though they picked at each other out of fun much more than out of real anger.
But Gara was not in the mood to watch the two of them trying to show who the best was at the moment, thus he intervened. “You butted in our conversation, Tatsurou. It’s no wonder you didn’t get the point.”
“Oh, but if he butts into something, he should get the point, although I think the point should get into his bu-”
“Bad mental image, bad mental image!” Kyo interrupted Daisuke, who-instead of looking ashamed or anything-grinned like mad.
“Naaah, we all know you’re Not. So. Innocent. Tooru-”
“Would you stop it? Besides, the problem is not talking about sex, is talking about sex with Tatsurou.”
“Hey!”
Gara slapped his own forehead, because there was nothing else he could do. Though he also grunted, of course.
“You know what? Let’s just go home and make this cake before Gara gets angry.”
Tatsurou and Kyo shut up immediately, not because of Daisuke’s accusing voice, but rather the possibility of Gara getting angry. They both knew that his moods could change out of the blue; they wouldn’t give him a reason.
“But…a cake?” Kyo risked saying, because asking a question was not the same as provoking Tatsurou. Well, not in this case. “I thought we were just going to…eat them.”
“Because you’re sooooo imaginative.”
“Look-”
“A-hem,” Daisuke cut in, looking at the two as if they were crazy. “Do you want me to call your mom or what?”
“Méeeeee,” Tatsurou echoed like a goat, and Gara couldn’t help but chuckle. “See, Dai? That’s how we keep him calm.”
“You’re the child here, Iwakami; not me.”
“HOLY SHIT, GARA USED MY LAST NAME! I’M SCARED!” and Tatsurou’s terrified face, if nothing else, just made the other laugh again.
Daisuke and Kyo shared glances. The latter shrugged; the other smiled encouragingly. Both Gara and Tatsurou missed the exchange, though Gara felt it when Kyo looked intently at him.
“Let’s go home,” Daisuke repeated, and they finally departed.
XXX
“Chocolate?”
“No.”
“Chocolate sauce?”
“No.”
“Melted chocolate?”
“No!”
“Ok, so it’s nothing related to chocolate.”
“Duh.”
“Chantilly?”
“No. And you still have two shots.”
“Hmmm. Champagne?”
“No. And you speaking French is just weird.”
“I’m not speaking French.”
“You’re using words in French. Period.”
“Ooooooo-kay, last shot. Hmmm. You?”
“What?”
“You plus strawberries equals fan-tas-tic?”
Kyo felt like hitting his head on the wall. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, though Gara’s cough-followed by an Impossible to Hold Kind of Chuckle-told him otherwise. The silence coming from the living room now also told him that-well, he didn’t really want to think about it.
“I hope they’re finished when the cake is ready. I’m not gonna wait here all afternoon, you know.”
Gara looked at him. “Need to pee?”
And it was Kyo’s turn to laugh. “It seems you’ve spent too much time with Tatsurou.”
“Or with you,” Gara retorted, smiling a bit.
“Maybe…” his eyes moved across the kitchen, avoiding the other’s gaze for some time.
Gara kept staring, though. He shifted on his chair, bringing his bare feet up so that he could sit Indian-style. Kyo was at the other side of the table, arms joined over it and looking as though he was ready to rest his head there and sleep.
“Tired?”
Kyo shot a quick glance at him, shook his head no and stared at one of his hands, which had now started to draw patterns on the wood.
A couple of minutes went by.
Kyo kept moving his fingers over the table.
Gara kept staring at him, sometimes also looking at his hands.
Then he frowned.
“…my name.”
“Huh?”
“You’re writing my name.”
Kyo stopped in mid-action, looking at his fingers as if they had betrayed him. Which they had, somehow.
“You could argue that it was the lyrics of Gyakujou,” Gara offered, as though he expected Kyo to deny it.
The blond looked up at him. “You remember that one?”
“It’s hard to forget after all those garagaragara lines…And I happen to like the album.”
“You do?” Kyo asked, though it was just for the sake of it. He knew that Gara-and some other members of Merry-liked Dir en grey.
“Yes. It has loads of sex appeal.”
“I guess…”
“The lyrics in particular.”
“What?”
“They are sex appealing.”
“Gara…”
“Hm?”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
“Am I?”
“Not really.”
“So…?”
Kyo sighed. “This is weird.”
“No, Tatsurou speaking French is weird.”
“I mean…” he took a deep breath.
But Gara was sensible enough to know when he was pressing too much. “You never explained your theory.”
“That bullshit about strawberries?”
“You shouldn’t listen to Tatsurou. He is a brainless idiot and-I want to know the rest.”
Kyo shook his head, though he said something anyway. “There’s not much left to say, Gara. It was just a bit of useless information.”
“But you were getting somewhere. Though I confess I’m curious about you knowing such things.”
He shrugged. “Boredom makes wonders.”
“Are you going to write a song about it?”
“About life and strawberries? Hell, no!”
“You wouldn’t need to mention the fruit, exactly. Maybe talk about its-bitterness turning into something sweet.”
“Yeah. Right. Just like all my other songs with a happy ending?”
“Which ones?”
“There. You got it.”
Gara shook his head, amused nonetheless. “No lyrics, then. You really think I’m pretty?”
Kyo would have spat if he had been drinking something, he was sure of it. “Since when do you change subjects so quickly?”
“Since when do you mind?”
“Gara…”
“I know you have something to tell me, Kyo.”
There. You got it.
“So, do you?”
Kyo almost glared at him, but chose to look down and take a deep breath instead. “I do. But I’m not the only one, you know,” he added quickly, as if excusing himself.
“You’re the one that matters.”
Kyo forced himself to look Gara in the eye, for there was so much bluntness in his voice that it would be an offense if he didn’t.
“I’m getting angry at Tatsurou.”
The short vocalist did not really understand that comment, so he just waited.
“You were comfortable around me when we were in the field. He ruined that.”
“I’m not-I wasn’t-” then Kyo breathed in deeply, and mentally smacked himself over the head. “I guess you are right.”
Gara nodded thoughtfully. “You want to know my version of your theory?”
He looked at the brunette, who stared back. “Just spit it,” he said, not really aware of the smile on the curve of his own lips.
“Those seeds-the specks, I mean-are like each moment of our lives. It could be only the happy moments, if you’re a lucky bastard, as you put it. But happiness is so relative…We usually wait for the day when it all gets suddenly perfect, but it never happens.”
As he listened, Kyo had the feeling he knew what the other was getting at. It was something obvious, yet ignored most of the time. “So we should hold onto the happy moments exactly because they are rare?”
“Something like that, yes,” Gara said, looking into his eyes as if he were willing to do that all day.
“You know I don’t really agree with you, right?”
“That’s why I said it was my version of your theory, not that you had to agree with me.”
Kyo didn’t have an answer to that, so he kept quiet. He had expected Gara to argue with him for at least a short time, but it seemed that the younger vocalist was content with just exposing his point of view.
Then Gara got up and reached for the vial of strawberries resting on the sink. According to what Daisuke had said, they still had some minutes before the cake was ready-it was in the refrigerator, cooling down and ‘getting firm’, so that it wouldn’t turn into a mess the moment they tried to cut it. As Gara had predicted, half of what they picked at the field was not used for the cake, so the vial was quite heavy as he carried it to the table and, this time, sat down beside Kyo-one inch from letting their bodies come into contact with one another.
Kyo would have complained about the invasion of personal space if it were somebody else, but he didn’t mind the closeness when it was Gara, for many reasons. At first-at the beginning of it all-it had been because Gara didn’t act as if he were invading anywhere; rather he looked as though he belonged there, by his side. Kyo could tell the other was comfortable; he wished he could say the same about himself. Which leads to point two-he did want Gara by his side, but in the current situation, it made him slightly…nervous. As if one movement, one word or one look would ruin everything. He would have thought ‘betray’, or ‘give the game away’, but it seemed that had already happened.
Gara picked a strawberry from the vial and put the deep red end of it to his mouth, biting gently into the fruit. He shot a sideways glance at Kyo, who was watching him with a keen interest. Up until then, Gara had had his doubts-and there were still many of them swimming in his head-but looking at Kyo right now helped him make up his mind.
“May I return the favor?” Gara asked, and suddenly Kyo saw himself with a half-bitten strawberry near his lips, very much like what he had previously offered Gara, when they were still in the field. Except that that strawberry had been whole-and it hadn’t made him feel as if his orbit could turn around in an unpleasant way depending on what he did next. The brunette, on the other hand, just looked solemnly at him, as if he wasn’t aware of the questions swirling in Kyo’s eyes at all.
Oh, well.
Kyo had had enough of games and hesitations, so he gave in-to whatever it was-and took the remaining of the fruit into his mouth, which brushed against Gara’s fingers. Precisely the tip of the thumb, fore and middle fingers. Kyo would never be sure if he had done that on purpose or if it had been due to the little piece of fruit-or if Gara had been the responsible one for it. Maybe it had been all three possibilities working together for what happened next.
Gara moved the tip of his fingers from Kyo’s lips to his left cheek, close to his ear and then through his hair, coming to rest at the nape of his neck. He didn’t miss the light shiver that Kyo wasn’t able to hold back, nor did he take his eyes off of him through the process. For communication could be achieved in so many ways, they didn’t need words at that moment. It was enough that Gara had pulled at the back of Kyo’s neck, who unconsciously complied by moving his face closer and instinctively parting his lips. Gara also leaned in and-after a brief exchange of looks, before closing their eyes-they kissed.
It was brief. Quiet. And there were just lips. Almost dry.
The first. As if being perfect would contradict its meaning.
They didn’t really draw back, but they did break apart-does half an inch count? and the expectant silence, Kyo’s hand pulling at Gara’s white shirt and a quick, anxious look-they all spoke for themselves.
Kissing once could be considered a mistake, a slip, an impulse-whatever. But when you do it twice, and right after the first time…then it’s because you want it.
It was all but brief and quiet. Lips parted slightly, moved, brushed against one another’s mouth, captured the other’s lips. There were intakes of breath along the way, sighs, hands pulling at shirts and necks and shoulders. Above it all, there was allowing and there was demanding from both Kyo and Gara. They kissed each other. And damn were they getting better at it.
“If this is what you meant before, when you were talking about happiness being gathered like strawberry specks,” Kyo took a breath, licked at his lips and almost touched Gara’s mouth with the tip of his tongue by doing so, which would not have been a complete accident, “you fucking persuaded me now.”
Gara knew right away that he didn’t need to ask him anything anymore, thus he couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. “How many specks does it take us to create a sweet, juicy strawberry kiss?”
“That’s so sappy I should probably puke now, but I think I’d rather cover the hundreds of specks we still have to beat.”
Gara chuckled. But then he frowned thoughtfully. “Hundreds?”
Kyo just raised a sarcastic eyebrow, which was enough to make Gara shut up and kiss him again-exactly what they both wanted.
XXX
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Bands: Dir en grey, Merry, MUCC & the studs
Pairing: KyoxGara; TatsurouxDaisuke
Theme: #45. Strawberry (Check 50stories for details)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~3,200
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me. I can’t even afford going to their concerts, damn it! *cries*
Summary: Gara picked a strawberry from the vial and put the deep red end of it to his mouth, biting gently into the fruit. He shot a sideways glance at Kyo, who was watching him with a keen interest. Up until then, Gara had had his doubts-and there were still many of them swimming in his head-but looking at Kyo right now helped him make up his mind.
This is to inspire you! (Or make you hungry, who knows. LOL)
XXX Bittersweet XXX
“It’s quite funny, actually.”
Gara looked up from where he was trying to get rid of a tiny rock that had gotten stuck between his toes, and stared at Kyo with a question in his eyes and a foot in his hands. He didn’t need to ask what the hell Kyo was talking about, though; because the blond was quick to elaborate on that sudden comment:
“That I’m getting older, but you’re getting prettier.”
Gara snorted. He was comfortable enough around the little vocalist to react naturally like that. “Feeling your age?”
Kyo didn’t answer right away; he was busy picking a strawberry and putting it together with the others in the basket at their feet. His careful moves were almost comical, Gara thought. “No. Just realizing that, while I look at the mirror and think ‘Dude, I’m 32!’, you look at it and sing, ‘Pretty Gara, walking down the street…’.”
This time, the vocalist of Merry laughed out loud. “Where did that come from?”
“You do know the movie, right?”
“And you know that’s not what I’m asking.”
Kyo shrugged, saying nothing; but there was a suspicious kind of spark in his eyes. He watched while Gara cleaned his hands on his white pants, stepped carefully on the ground and started choosing more strawberries.
They were in an open field, picking strawberries of all things. The idea had been Tatsurou’s, of course-the crazy vocalist was a few meters ahead of them, with Daisuke by his side. Now and then, Gara and Kyo would hear them laughing or good-naturally insulting one another-and kissing.
“I think…You could say life is like eating strawberries.”
Gara suppressed the snort that was certainly coming because of that. But he was glad that Kyo was talking, because then his mind wouldn’t have time to imagine what was not meant to be. “You’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, huh?”
“No, seriously. Eat one,” and there Kyo was, holding a strawberry to his lips.
“We’re supposed to take them home and-”
“Sure, because those two didn’t eat half of what they’ve picked already,” and he moved his head to indicate Tatsurou and Daisuke, though it was obvious he was referring to them.
Gara simply raised his eyebrows, but accepted the small fruit before Kyo could release the exasperated sigh that was certainly gathering air through his lungs. He took a bite, and chewed slowly as he stared curiously at Kyo, who had started explaining his previous remark:
“It feels bitter at times, but you have to be patient and wait for the sweet taste to come. If it’s not sweet at all, then it’s because it’s not ready yet. If it’s too sweet, then you’re just a lucky bastard.”
Gara was surprised to hear himself laughing again; it seemed that Kyo was in a very, very good mood-there was no other explanation for those philosophic thoughts he was letting out. Furthermore, Kyo was not an optimistic person-not as far as Gara knew.
Something might have happened to make him less bitter and more-talkative. Relaxed. Even though it was probably going to last for a couple of hours, seeing Kyo like that made the other vocalist’s heart a little lighter. Because Kyo, according to his own words, never relaxed.
“Gara?”
The younger one blinked once, and then looked at Kyo, who was on the way to-grinning mischievously, which would have been completely out of character, and probably put Tatsurou’s own mischievous grin to shame-for Kyo’s smirk was slightly more evil.
“You were looking intently at me-though I guess it was through me, actually, and you were frowning. What is it?”
Gara shook his head, both in a dismissive gesture and as an attempt to get rid of the thoughts running through his mind. It was neither the time nor the place to try and analyze Kyo’s behavior.
Then the little vocalist touched his forehead, right at the mentioned frown that had remained there, and-Gara frowned. That is, more.
“What’s gotten into you?” he couldn’t help asking, albeit not accusingly, because the puzzle was getting too complicated already. He didn’t like the feeling of confusion surging through him.
Kyo didn’t answer, however; they were doing that a lot-or, rather, not doing it, and it was unnerving for both. Gara realized that he missed Kyo’s touch when the older one drew back his fingers, though the other hand still offered him the rest of the strawberry.
“Do you want to know the rest of my theory?”
Gara sighed inwardly. Well. “Go on.”
But Kyo moved his hand slowly, as if telling him to take another bite. Gara rolled his eyes, but did it, feeling silly-yet warm, which was something he welcomed. Kyo put the remaining of the strawberry in his own mouth, and they stared at each other as they both chewed.
“You know that the strawberry is actually a multiple fruit, right?” Kyo said, after taking some time to lick his lips. “These brownish specks,” he picked another strawberry as if to make a point, “which people consider as seeds, are the true fruits.”
“So it’s like a bunch of fruits in one fruit,” Tatsurou said from behind him, and Kyo almost started, but was quick to recover from the other’s sudden appearance.
“You make it sound like bullshit,” Daisuke said, looking back and forth between Kyo and Gara, which made the latter raise a questioning eyebrow. Daisuke just shrugged, however, and Gara was left under the impression that his friend had just discovered something that he didn’t know.
“Well, I think it is bullshit,” Tatsurou was saying, whereas Kyo turned around to look at him as if he wasn’t worth a cent. “Why should it matter if it is a fruit or a huuuuuuuuge collection of fruits? My stomach doesn’t care,” and he shrugged disinterestedly, completely unaware of Gara’s warning look.
“I suppose you also think with lower parts of your body, then,” Kyo said calmly, matter-of-factly, and received a glare. Oh, but Tatsurou looked much more funny than frightening like that. It was no news that Dir en grey and MUCC’s vocalists had a grudge, no matter how childish it could be; though they picked at each other out of fun much more than out of real anger.
But Gara was not in the mood to watch the two of them trying to show who the best was at the moment, thus he intervened. “You butted in our conversation, Tatsurou. It’s no wonder you didn’t get the point.”
“Oh, but if he butts into something, he should get the point, although I think the point should get into his bu-”
“Bad mental image, bad mental image!” Kyo interrupted Daisuke, who-instead of looking ashamed or anything-grinned like mad.
“Naaah, we all know you’re Not. So. Innocent. Tooru-”
“Would you stop it? Besides, the problem is not talking about sex, is talking about sex with Tatsurou.”
“Hey!”
Gara slapped his own forehead, because there was nothing else he could do. Though he also grunted, of course.
“You know what? Let’s just go home and make this cake before Gara gets angry.”
Tatsurou and Kyo shut up immediately, not because of Daisuke’s accusing voice, but rather the possibility of Gara getting angry. They both knew that his moods could change out of the blue; they wouldn’t give him a reason.
“But…a cake?” Kyo risked saying, because asking a question was not the same as provoking Tatsurou. Well, not in this case. “I thought we were just going to…eat them.”
“Because you’re sooooo imaginative.”
“Look-”
“A-hem,” Daisuke cut in, looking at the two as if they were crazy. “Do you want me to call your mom or what?”
“Méeeeee,” Tatsurou echoed like a goat, and Gara couldn’t help but chuckle. “See, Dai? That’s how we keep him calm.”
“You’re the child here, Iwakami; not me.”
“HOLY SHIT, GARA USED MY LAST NAME! I’M SCARED!” and Tatsurou’s terrified face, if nothing else, just made the other laugh again.
Daisuke and Kyo shared glances. The latter shrugged; the other smiled encouragingly. Both Gara and Tatsurou missed the exchange, though Gara felt it when Kyo looked intently at him.
“Let’s go home,” Daisuke repeated, and they finally departed.
XXX
“Chocolate?”
“No.”
“Chocolate sauce?”
“No.”
“Melted chocolate?”
“No!”
“Ok, so it’s nothing related to chocolate.”
“Duh.”
“Chantilly?”
“No. And you still have two shots.”
“Hmmm. Champagne?”
“No. And you speaking French is just weird.”
“I’m not speaking French.”
“You’re using words in French. Period.”
“Ooooooo-kay, last shot. Hmmm. You?”
“What?”
“You plus strawberries equals fan-tas-tic?”
Kyo felt like hitting his head on the wall. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, though Gara’s cough-followed by an Impossible to Hold Kind of Chuckle-told him otherwise. The silence coming from the living room now also told him that-well, he didn’t really want to think about it.
“I hope they’re finished when the cake is ready. I’m not gonna wait here all afternoon, you know.”
Gara looked at him. “Need to pee?”
And it was Kyo’s turn to laugh. “It seems you’ve spent too much time with Tatsurou.”
“Or with you,” Gara retorted, smiling a bit.
“Maybe…” his eyes moved across the kitchen, avoiding the other’s gaze for some time.
Gara kept staring, though. He shifted on his chair, bringing his bare feet up so that he could sit Indian-style. Kyo was at the other side of the table, arms joined over it and looking as though he was ready to rest his head there and sleep.
“Tired?”
Kyo shot a quick glance at him, shook his head no and stared at one of his hands, which had now started to draw patterns on the wood.
A couple of minutes went by.
Kyo kept moving his fingers over the table.
Gara kept staring at him, sometimes also looking at his hands.
Then he frowned.
“…my name.”
“Huh?”
“You’re writing my name.”
Kyo stopped in mid-action, looking at his fingers as if they had betrayed him. Which they had, somehow.
“You could argue that it was the lyrics of Gyakujou,” Gara offered, as though he expected Kyo to deny it.
The blond looked up at him. “You remember that one?”
“It’s hard to forget after all those garagaragara lines…And I happen to like the album.”
“You do?” Kyo asked, though it was just for the sake of it. He knew that Gara-and some other members of Merry-liked Dir en grey.
“Yes. It has loads of sex appeal.”
“I guess…”
“The lyrics in particular.”
“What?”
“They are sex appealing.”
“Gara…”
“Hm?”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
“Am I?”
“Not really.”
“So…?”
Kyo sighed. “This is weird.”
“No, Tatsurou speaking French is weird.”
“I mean…” he took a deep breath.
But Gara was sensible enough to know when he was pressing too much. “You never explained your theory.”
“That bullshit about strawberries?”
“You shouldn’t listen to Tatsurou. He is a brainless idiot and-I want to know the rest.”
Kyo shook his head, though he said something anyway. “There’s not much left to say, Gara. It was just a bit of useless information.”
“But you were getting somewhere. Though I confess I’m curious about you knowing such things.”
He shrugged. “Boredom makes wonders.”
“Are you going to write a song about it?”
“About life and strawberries? Hell, no!”
“You wouldn’t need to mention the fruit, exactly. Maybe talk about its-bitterness turning into something sweet.”
“Yeah. Right. Just like all my other songs with a happy ending?”
“Which ones?”
“There. You got it.”
Gara shook his head, amused nonetheless. “No lyrics, then. You really think I’m pretty?”
Kyo would have spat if he had been drinking something, he was sure of it. “Since when do you change subjects so quickly?”
“Since when do you mind?”
“Gara…”
“I know you have something to tell me, Kyo.”
There. You got it.
“So, do you?”
Kyo almost glared at him, but chose to look down and take a deep breath instead. “I do. But I’m not the only one, you know,” he added quickly, as if excusing himself.
“You’re the one that matters.”
Kyo forced himself to look Gara in the eye, for there was so much bluntness in his voice that it would be an offense if he didn’t.
“I’m getting angry at Tatsurou.”
The short vocalist did not really understand that comment, so he just waited.
“You were comfortable around me when we were in the field. He ruined that.”
“I’m not-I wasn’t-” then Kyo breathed in deeply, and mentally smacked himself over the head. “I guess you are right.”
Gara nodded thoughtfully. “You want to know my version of your theory?”
He looked at the brunette, who stared back. “Just spit it,” he said, not really aware of the smile on the curve of his own lips.
“Those seeds-the specks, I mean-are like each moment of our lives. It could be only the happy moments, if you’re a lucky bastard, as you put it. But happiness is so relative…We usually wait for the day when it all gets suddenly perfect, but it never happens.”
As he listened, Kyo had the feeling he knew what the other was getting at. It was something obvious, yet ignored most of the time. “So we should hold onto the happy moments exactly because they are rare?”
“Something like that, yes,” Gara said, looking into his eyes as if he were willing to do that all day.
“You know I don’t really agree with you, right?”
“That’s why I said it was my version of your theory, not that you had to agree with me.”
Kyo didn’t have an answer to that, so he kept quiet. He had expected Gara to argue with him for at least a short time, but it seemed that the younger vocalist was content with just exposing his point of view.
Then Gara got up and reached for the vial of strawberries resting on the sink. According to what Daisuke had said, they still had some minutes before the cake was ready-it was in the refrigerator, cooling down and ‘getting firm’, so that it wouldn’t turn into a mess the moment they tried to cut it. As Gara had predicted, half of what they picked at the field was not used for the cake, so the vial was quite heavy as he carried it to the table and, this time, sat down beside Kyo-one inch from letting their bodies come into contact with one another.
Kyo would have complained about the invasion of personal space if it were somebody else, but he didn’t mind the closeness when it was Gara, for many reasons. At first-at the beginning of it all-it had been because Gara didn’t act as if he were invading anywhere; rather he looked as though he belonged there, by his side. Kyo could tell the other was comfortable; he wished he could say the same about himself. Which leads to point two-he did want Gara by his side, but in the current situation, it made him slightly…nervous. As if one movement, one word or one look would ruin everything. He would have thought ‘betray’, or ‘give the game away’, but it seemed that had already happened.
Gara picked a strawberry from the vial and put the deep red end of it to his mouth, biting gently into the fruit. He shot a sideways glance at Kyo, who was watching him with a keen interest. Up until then, Gara had had his doubts-and there were still many of them swimming in his head-but looking at Kyo right now helped him make up his mind.
“May I return the favor?” Gara asked, and suddenly Kyo saw himself with a half-bitten strawberry near his lips, very much like what he had previously offered Gara, when they were still in the field. Except that that strawberry had been whole-and it hadn’t made him feel as if his orbit could turn around in an unpleasant way depending on what he did next. The brunette, on the other hand, just looked solemnly at him, as if he wasn’t aware of the questions swirling in Kyo’s eyes at all.
Oh, well.
Kyo had had enough of games and hesitations, so he gave in-to whatever it was-and took the remaining of the fruit into his mouth, which brushed against Gara’s fingers. Precisely the tip of the thumb, fore and middle fingers. Kyo would never be sure if he had done that on purpose or if it had been due to the little piece of fruit-or if Gara had been the responsible one for it. Maybe it had been all three possibilities working together for what happened next.
Gara moved the tip of his fingers from Kyo’s lips to his left cheek, close to his ear and then through his hair, coming to rest at the nape of his neck. He didn’t miss the light shiver that Kyo wasn’t able to hold back, nor did he take his eyes off of him through the process. For communication could be achieved in so many ways, they didn’t need words at that moment. It was enough that Gara had pulled at the back of Kyo’s neck, who unconsciously complied by moving his face closer and instinctively parting his lips. Gara also leaned in and-after a brief exchange of looks, before closing their eyes-they kissed.
It was brief. Quiet. And there were just lips. Almost dry.
The first. As if being perfect would contradict its meaning.
They didn’t really draw back, but they did break apart-does half an inch count? and the expectant silence, Kyo’s hand pulling at Gara’s white shirt and a quick, anxious look-they all spoke for themselves.
Kissing once could be considered a mistake, a slip, an impulse-whatever. But when you do it twice, and right after the first time…then it’s because you want it.
It was all but brief and quiet. Lips parted slightly, moved, brushed against one another’s mouth, captured the other’s lips. There were intakes of breath along the way, sighs, hands pulling at shirts and necks and shoulders. Above it all, there was allowing and there was demanding from both Kyo and Gara. They kissed each other. And damn were they getting better at it.
“If this is what you meant before, when you were talking about happiness being gathered like strawberry specks,” Kyo took a breath, licked at his lips and almost touched Gara’s mouth with the tip of his tongue by doing so, which would not have been a complete accident, “you fucking persuaded me now.”
Gara knew right away that he didn’t need to ask him anything anymore, thus he couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. “How many specks does it take us to create a sweet, juicy strawberry kiss?”
“That’s so sappy I should probably puke now, but I think I’d rather cover the hundreds of specks we still have to beat.”
Gara chuckled. But then he frowned thoughtfully. “Hundreds?”
Kyo just raised a sarcastic eyebrow, which was enough to make Gara shut up and kiss him again-exactly what they both wanted.
XXX
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